A Modern Approach To Surrendering By Leticia

Leticia-Vasquez-CoachA book called “The Surrendered Wife”? With a drawing of a woman in a bubble bath? No thank you.

At least that’s what I thought to myself a few years ago, as I browsed relationship books on Amazon.com, desperately trying to keep my end of the bargain my husband and I had entered into a few months before. That bargain came on the heels of an emotional re-commitment to one another after a few years of highs and lows. With two toddlers in tow, I had come to a point where I looked at my husband and wondered where the warm, romantic and loving man I had met 15 years before had gone. I saw this warmth from him with the people I loved, so I knew it was there…which was somewhat painful, but it also gave me a glimpse of hope.

I had read several academic-type books that appealed to the clever girl in me. And they were great in offering me a lot of theory, but offered no practical steps, which was what I really needed. Yet, something kept pulling me back to Laura Doyle’s book with the hideous title that went against everything I had been raised to be! I fought it; I talked myself out of it many times, thinking, there’s just no way! And still I went back, browsed the book again, then read the comments and was piqued. Then, I very quietly bought it.

I devoured it in two nights and kept to Laura’s Intimacy Skills. It only took about one week for my husband to caress me like the old days and lovingly say, “Wow. I want to thank you for coming back. I wondered where the girl was that I had fallen in love with.” That was it. I could hear the clang and “We have a winner!” being announced.

Since reading the book and practicing the Intimacy Skills, my life has changed. Where there was once ice-cold silence and times where Godzilla made appearances for major house violations (like a poorly loaded dishwasher), now warmth and love reigns in our home. We now share a level of intimacy so strong and binding that I have become an ardent believer in the power of being a Surrendered Wife. I discovered that learning a new way to communicate didn’t make me a Stepford Wife; instead, I became the best version of myself. My husband and I are back to being the lifetime lovers we set out to be.

I still consider myself a feminist, but I also know that my husband and I have different needs that feed into one common goal: forming an awesome couple that is crazy about each other.

What to do next…

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