New Years’ Resolution (Best Relationship)

6 Reasons This Year Will Be Your Best Relationship Year Yet

New Year, New You

New Year’s Day is like a brand new notebook waiting to be filled with accounts of your organized, nutritious, fit, accomplished, prosperous life with your loving mate.

Of course, you can make your life better any time of the year, but there’s something inspiring about January, as though she is holding up the vision you have for yourself in a way that other months don’t.

That’s not the only reason that now is the time to take action that will have you looking back at the year with a sense of gratification and accomplishment–especially if your dream is to feel madly, deeply loved and adored every day for life.

You may be thinking that I don’t know the challenges you’re facing or how much you’re struggling right now. Things may be rough for you in the love department.

But here’s what I do know: Now, more than ever, forces are collaborating for your greatest happiness in the area of love.

I can explain.

Here’s why this year will be your best relationship year yet.

1. That’s Your Intention

“When you have clarity of intention, the Universe conspires with you to make it happen.”
– Fabienne Fredrickson

Maybe your pain is what’s spurring you on most of all. Pain was a big motivator for me too in wanting to save my relationship. I started with a long list of complaints and, after years of suffering, finally flipped them to form a clear desire: I wanted intimacy, passion and peace in my marriage.

Once you know what you want, you’re bringing your focus, your energy and, perhaps most importantly, your imagination to creating your vision.

Maybe your dream is to feel seen, known and desired. Or maybe it’s to feel like you have a partner who matches and cherishes you and you alone. Maybe you want more support with housework and bills.

Setting your intention doesn’t mean you won’t get discouraged or question how that will ever happen. It means you have a destination to put into your life GPS and that you’re ready to get behind the wheel.

What is your intention?

2. You Know More

“The expert in anything was once a beginner.”
– Helen Hayes

You’re a seeker, and you value lifelong learning. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this post.

You know more than you ever have before–including what hasn’t worked in your relationship.

That’s where I was too when I stumbled on what does work to make relationships vibrant and amazing again for thousands of women all over the world, including me.

I wasn’t ready to hear the 6 Intimacy SkillsTM before my experience made me ready, just like it’s made you ready.

When I was ready, the wisdom of the Intimacy Skills resonated with me as if God were whispering them in my ear. They were both shocking and electrifying.

Ultimately, I was unspeakably grateful to learn what I know now about what makes relationships amazing and vibrant.

3. You’re Braver

“Don’t worry about failures. Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”
-Jack Canfield

Time makes you bolder. It says so right in the song “Landslide.”

With the passing of another year, you’re likely more willing to try on changes, to take what may feel like big risks in your relationship to create the connection you crave. I admire that because it requires courage.

That was key for me too. I was willing to experiment in my relationship even though it was frightening and contrary to everything I knew because, I told myself, I could always go back to the old way if I hated it.

4. You’re More Accountable

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”
-Dr. Robert Anthony

If I had to summarize what my critics hate most about me, it’s that they believe I perpetuate women being victimized.

But in order to be a victim, you have to blame someone else. And the minute I do that, I lose my power.

My power is in looking at how I contributed to the mess, melee or muck and owning it. That’s where the magic starts in my life, always.

You, too, are accountable, or you would find some other post to read. (Either that or you’re about to send me some hate mail.)

When you’re accountable, you can make the entire world–including your relationship–better.

As a bonus, accountability is attractive. I notice I’m drawn to those who admit their horrible mistakes and apologize.

5. You Have Support

“Sometimes asking for help is the bravest move you can make. You don’t have to go it alone.”
-C. Connors

While you are always the expert on your own life, the messages you hear repeatedly have an influence. If those messages are “You can do better” or “You should leave him” or “I know a good divorce lawyer,” that will likely impact the path you choose.

If the messages you hear repeatedly are “I believe in you and your power to restore the connection in your marriage” or “That happened to me too, but now my marriage is amazing and here’s what I did…” or “I acknowledge you for your commitment and determination to save your marriage. You’re doing great!” those will influence your path.

Since you’re here, that means you’ve found the worldwide community of women who support each other in having playful, passionate relationships.

You’re not alone with your challenges or your intention. We’re right here with you, and we will support and cheer you on to happily-ever-after. That’s what we do around here.

There are a variety of ways to get support on our campus, from group coaching programs, and private coaching all the way to joining the coaching body as a certified relationship coach.

Your heart knows how much support is best for your unique situation.

6. You’re Inspired

“Know what sparks the light in you. Then use that light to illuminate the world.”
-Oprah Winfrey

If you’re anything like the women I have the honor of meeting who have dedicated themselves to practicing the 6 Intimacy Skills, who demonstrate amazing vulnerability and teach me what it means to be committed to their marriages and their families, my hat’s off to you.

I see women who dig deep for the accountability to apologize for being disrespectful even after a horrendously hurtful fight.

I talk to women who take the high road of giving their husband grace even when they see him making painful parenting mistakes.

I witness them courageously reject the urge to complain, instead choosing gratitude and Spouse-Fulfilling Prophecies when they could have seen only shortcomings.

The improvements in their marriages are nothing short of miraculous. The distant, inattentive husband starts seeking out her company and showing spontaneous affection. The divorce is put off, then called off. He moves back home, ends the affair and admits he loves her for the first time in years.

What’s not to admire? These women are quietly setting the world on fire, putting it right, one family at a time.

And if that inspires you, then I predict that 2018 will be an amazing year for your relationship.

I’d love to hear your intention in the comments section below. What is your vision for your relationship for 2018?

Empowered Wives TV

By Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

New York Times Bestselling Author

I was the perfect wife--until I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

22 replies on “New Years’ Resolution (Best Relationship)”

My vision is to have an amazing husband who desires only his wife. Passion and romance and fun adventures together. Honesty loyalty and we put each other on the highest level of love and respectfulness.

My vision is to take the deeply peaceful and wonderful marriage which we have gained through Gds help and guidance to make the skills a part of my daily life and transform is a whole level deeper. My intention is to create a marriage where my husband and I are and feel deeply in love, where we laugh tons, can’t get enough of each other and fall more in love by the day!

I am a single 24 year old woman. Even though, most of your articles are for married women or women in commited relationships, I feel immensely inspired in areas relating to understanding men, attraction, commitment and relationships… it is almost like you said… like God speaking to you.. giving advice… I hope I create the healthiest, passionate, peaceful and intimate relationship this year… you just inspired with your six reasons post… thank you so much 🙂 this post is one of the things I am so grateful to read today… Thanks again for the boost…. 🙂

Why is it up to the woman to make things better? Why can’t the male put effort into his marriage? A little sexist, no?

I’m so grateful God lead me to you. All you share is helping me not get the relationship I had back as it was so unhealthy from the beginning but after 46 years of marriage build a brand new lasting relationship. Thank you and God bless you.

I have been living on Faith and not by sight. My husband left in 2015, I filed for divorce and just a few weeks ago I decided to file for Dismissal of my divorce. I never wanted it, I was going by my own understanding, hurt, betrayal and confussion. He still does not speak or want anything to do with me. However the difference is I’m allowing God to step in and do what He wants, whatever that may be. I’m trusting my Heavenly Father.
2018 offers new promises, with God in control of my mind, heart, soul, directing my steps, I’m already winning.

My husband left me a month ago. He said all its over. I am totally destroyed because i was working in another city worry always for bussiness things more than the growing of marriage.
I forgave lot of things to him.He is bipolar and its difficult to struggle because he doesnt want medication. I feel devastated inside and now i would like to be at his side for being a good wife for him.
None of us want the divorce but i.cannot with this situation. Your words help me for putting all your concerns in Gods hands.
I want another chance for my marriage.
Two years ago.i.was applying the counsels of lauras books and the marriage was ok. But i accepted to work in another city and my marriage broke.
My.hope for this year is to restore my marriage and to focus in being better wife. A good surrender wife!!

Thanks so much for your wisdom! It has been making my good marriage better. I recently followed your advice about receiving gifts and I am so glad I did. I am a frugal homemaker mom with four children so I can get anxious about extra spending. This Christmas my husband bought me a ($500!) paddleboard and I am so glad I had read your book about receiving. Instead of having a panic attack, I feel and expressed that I am so grateful for my husband to give me such a generous gift! He knows I love paddleboarding and now I won’t have to find a rental place and enjoy any lake we visit. Happy New Year, Laura!

Laura, if I were to tell you what I love about this blog post, I’d have to quote the whole thing back to you. But I think my absolute FAVORITE part is what you said about accountability and not being a victim. Thank you so much for reminding me that I am the expert on my own life and that I have the power to create the marriage (and life) of my dreams. I invite any woman who believes that changing to become confident, empowered, and lovable is somehow sexist to re-read the part about how victimization denies us our accountability and power, because it only holds others accountable for our lives. For me that is the most empowering part of all!! Thank you for everything!

I have been Married to my husband for 56yrs and have been very disappointed ,sad and depressed over the years but since reading your book the surrendered wife, I’m ready to start making changes I’m looking forward to year 2018

My vision is to have a romantic, passion filled relationship with my partner that will last forever. We have been off and on for a time now but the fact still remain we can’t be without each other. I want a long lasting relationship with my Sammy .

I agree, Vivian. I used to think that my husband had to improve first before our marriage would get better. If I had to make the 1st move that would somehow be sexist. Oi, the years of heartache that attitude brought me! Laura’s teachings spun my head around. Her beautiful teaching has brought so much joy and love to my marriage. Bless you, Laura, and also all those who leave comments. I read all of them and learn a lot from them too.

Thank you, SS, and also a special welcome and shout out to Martha! We can all do this together, one step at a time! We women are the keepers of the relationship and I have so much hope for all of us. 2018 is going to be our year, thanks to Laura and her amazing skills!

I intend to be 110% committed to my marriage in a healthy and productive way in 2018!
In 2016 after being with my husband for 35 years I had decided enough was enough. I wanted the fairytale and I was going to get it come hell or high water. Well by August of 2017 I had drove my husband out of our home and by the time I figured out I was going about things all wrong and how much damage I had done, he had found another woman. Long story short, I’m deeply in love with my husband and always have been. My marriage is worth saving and that’s just what I’m going to do! I will strive to have a happy, love filled, fun and adventurous partnership with my husband! Here’s to 2018!

I first read your book “The Surrendered Wife” in the summer of 2015. My husband and I had separated because of his ongoing affair with a woman I had once considered a friend. I was devastated and at probably my lowest point ever. I slowly started to implement the skills and my husband has slowly but steadily moved back towards me and our family. His affair ended about a year later and although we’re still separated, I am more hopeful than ever that we will fully reconcile and be better than ever before. It’s been difficult and painful but I don’t know that any other approach would have worked. He was so far gone! I’m looking forward to an amazing 2018 and to continuing to read your inspiring and supportive posts. Thank you so much!

My intention for my marriage is a higher level of passion, joy, and mutual respect and admiration that is fueled by a deep loving and desire to be the best possible life partners. To fulfill this intention I will apply the 6 Int Skills, with special emphasis on self-care.

I realste just how great a wife I am to my Husband who has been less then a good Husband for the last 3 years. But as I grow as a person I will find the one I am meant to be with.

I want to have a committed relationship in 2018 with someone who loves me for who I am. And I’m willing to take that step.

I really want this year to be full of love and peace, i do believe in what you teach, but i dont get that support from my family and friends, i so need that. im constantly told to just except that its over. I dont have a problem with accepting accountability. i so wish i could sit down and talk to you face to face. bit hard when your on the other side of the world. Im relying on God for guidence.

Hi Robyn Buttsworth, have you thought about getting a coach and joining this community of like-minded women? Mainstream women have no idea how to implement the intimacy skills or that they even exist and really don’t, won’t, or can’t, support us. Here is where you’ll find friends who can! Check the links above!! Good luck! So happy that you want to save your marriage!

Hi, Laura,thanks for the good work you are doing, you have really inspired me to take control of my relationship by being myself and showing more respect to my man.You saved my marriage.

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