No Longer Lonely or Overwhelmed by Norita Bonin

No Longer Lonely or Overwhelmed

How a wife of 30 years stopped pretending and started living happily ever after

Relationship Coach NoritaNorita Bonin
Laura Doyle Certified Intimacy Coach

Being married to my childhood sweetheart for 30 years sounds like a true happily-ever-after story for some. But for me, it felt more like a lonely endurance test.

I believed what it took to be a good wife was competency, responsibility, and wearing many hats–gourmet cook, gardener, wife, mother of 4, multiple business manager, and guest entertainer–all while looking reasonably attractive.

Feeling overwhelmed was all too familiar! I was doing all I could to pull my own weight and be productive. I considered it a high compliment that I was a “go-getter” and got more done than most people.

In reality, I wasted decades feeling avoided and lonely.

Mostly, I grieved in broken-hearted silence.

I felt old, weary, and weak when I should have been strong. I found myself sleeping a lot as a method of escape.

Intimacy Quiz

I welcomed the end of my life, and some of my well-intentioned friends recommended antidepressant medications.

I thought it was my husband’s fault for not being a good provider, and for not loving me enough.

Some of my friends and family who had been to marriage counseling were advised on how to end their impossible marriages, but I did not want separation or a divorce.

When I asked my husband about going to counseling, he declined.

A few years ago, I quietly recommitted myself to staying in my unhappy marriage because there were too many people who would be hurt by my giving up.

Years were spent in a quest for happiness, which included searching scripture, countless conversations with other women, and reading many relationship books.

While there were little bits and pieces that helped, none were the key to my marital happiness.

But then something happened that changed my life forever.

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

15 Things Happen When You Give Up Control

15 Things Happen When You Give Up Control

The World-Famous System for Relinquishing Control has Unexpected Side Effects

What happens when 18 women tell the up-close and personal story of how their marriages were struggling in some way, and describe exactly how they stopped controlling to restore the passion and playfulness?

First, you get an inspiring book of best practices for a playful, passionate marriage, which you can then apply to your own relationship.

Second, some other patterns emerge.

Let’s say you’re in the habit of giving your husband “helpful suggestions,” like all of us were.

Or maybe you’re less subtle about it, and you just come right out and tell him what to do, like we also did.

And let’s say that one day you decide to stop controlling…

Then what?

Intimacy Quiz

Here’s what we found out by putting all the first-hand accounts together in the book Surrendered Wives Empowered Women: Inspiring True Stories of Women Who Made Their Relationships Intimate, Passionate and Peaceful Again: As soon as you stop controlling your guy, your relationship gets so much better!

AND all of this happens too…

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

Would You Be Happier if You Married Someone Else?

Would You Be Happier if You Married Someone Else?

What Makes our Marriage So Exceptional

by John Doyle

Recently, Laura and I attended the backyard birthday party of a friend. There were many couples there, most of whom we knew. The evening was unusually humid for Southern California, but there was just enough scattered, light rain to make it refreshing, and we were outside under strings of lights. There was also the promise of a fireworks show from the nearby sports stadium.

Seated with us at our picnic table were a couple of wives enthusiastically complaining about their husbands, saying things like, “He never picks up after himself,” “I have to make all the vacation plans–he never does anything,” “It’s like I have another child instead of a husband,” and other critical things.

They were making these statements right in front of their stoic husbands, who were

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

My Husband Refuses to Work on Our Marriage

What to do When Your Husband Refuses to Work on Your Marriage

How to single-handedly create the kind of connection and intimacy you’re craving with him

Some men go to marriage counseling willingly, but most who go do so grudgingly, and still more flat-out refuse.

These men won’t read a book about relationships, and they don’t seem interested in talking about the problems, either.

It can be incredibly frustrating for a wife who knows her marriage isn’t what it could be. After all, if he won’t work on things, isn’t it hopeless that they’ll ever improve?

That’s what I used to think, and that’s why I dragged my husband to marriage counseling.

Intimacy Quiz

But what if there’s a faster, more effective way to get what you really want from him—spontaneous love pats, heartfelt talks, romantic getaways—that you can implement yourself?

I’ll show you why his stubbornness about working on the relationship is actually a blessing in disguise, and how you can get those swoon-worthy encounters without him even knowing what you’re up to.

I know it may sound impossible that you could make your relationship gratifying and delightful again. And I get that the person who needs to change the most is him—and he will. You can make that happen. All you have to do is….

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

What Makes A Happy Marriage

What Makes A Happy Marriage

5 Signs of an Incredibly Happy Marriage

What wives who are ridiculously happy do that other women don’t

I used to think that having a happy marriage was a direct result of marrying the right person.

Now I know better.

Of course, it helps to marry someone who delights you, but all brides are delighted to marry their husbands on their wedding day. So it’s likely that you did marry someone who delights you, and you have the right ingredients to have an incredibly happy marriage.

It’s really not about your husband as much as I used to think.

Intimacy Quiz

Women in happy marriages have certain traits and habits in common. It’s amazingly consistent, but wasn’t obvious to me at all! I thought I just married the wrong man.

Was I ever confused and miserable back then. But then I started working on these habits and even I was astonished at what happened next.

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

From Roommate to Romance

How I went from the brink of divorce to becoming the wife and mom I wanted to be

By Courtney Elder, Certified Relationship Coach

I first met my husband at the tender age of 21. We had a whirlwind romance and got engaged only four months after officially becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. Six months after our engagement, we were married.

I felt like he was the most amazing man I’d ever met–he was funny, smart, incredibly attractive, and had just enough rebel in him to make him all the more appealing.

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

Why Doesn’t My Husband Love Me?

Being married to a man who was once affectionate and thoughtful, but isn’t anymore, is painful and heartbreaking.

I still remember what that was like. It hurts just thinking about it, even though that was years ago.

But what if the underlying problem was something you could fix pretty quickly, once you knew how?

Intimacy Quiz

Because that’s what happened to me.

I’m going to reveal the hidden habit that was squelching my husband’s love for me–and tell you what I did to get it all back.

I’ll also give you a simple, powerful phrase you can start using right away so that your husband gets happy to see you.

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

3 Signs of an Abusive Relationship (and 3 Common Red Flags to Ignore)

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Should you stay or should you go? How to know for sure

Most men are good guys. Not perfect, of course–but it’s safe to marry them, live with them, and have kids with them.

Chances are high that your guy falls into this category.

But there are a small percentage of men who aren’t safe to live with.

And although I’m an advocate for marriage, if you’re married to a man you aren’t safe with, then you are in an abusive relationship. In that case, I would be the first to endorse your divorce.

Intimacy Quiz

Fortunately, it’s not hard to figure it out. There are only three red flags to look at, but there are plenty of fake red flags that could throw you off. I’ll explain which ones are real and which ones to ignore.

I’ll break it all down in this blog so you’ll know exactly which category your guy falls into: Either he’s a good guy, or he’s a man you’re not safe with.

Here are the three red flags (and three things you can quit worrying about):

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

How To Get Your Husband Or Boyfriend To Talk To You

The #1 Reason Men Open Up

I think you’ll agree with me when I say that sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do is to get a man to talk to you.

You ask how his day was and he grunts.

You tell him your news for the day and he keeps eating without even looking up.

You try to get him to open up, but he gets annoyed.

Intimacy Quiz

It turns out, you can dramatically increase the gratifying conversations with him by creating an environment that will make him want to open up and share with you more intimately.

In this post, I’m going to show you what the secret is…and exactly how you can use it in your relationship.

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

From A No Sex Marriage to Playful and Passionate Again

No Sex Marriage

How I Made My Marriage Passionate Again, While Helping Others Do the Same

by Kathy Murray, Senior Relationship Coach

Having a sexless marriage before I learned the intimacy skills had me feeling so unattractive.

Before I read Laura’s book The Surrendered Wife, my husband wasn’t interested in making love to me. We fought about it all the time. I felt so unattractive and undesired…

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Author Bio

Laura Doyle

Hi! I'm Laura.

I was great wife material until, well, I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me had returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

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