Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach
From Roommate to Romance
I first met my husband at the tender age of 21. We had a whirlwind romance and got engaged only four months after being “officially” boyfriend and girlfriend. Six months after our engagement we were married. I felt like he was the most amazing man I’d ever met–he was funny, smart, incredibly attractive, and had just enough rebel in him that made him all the more appealing.
The first four years of our marriage brought two kids, significant financial strains, and an out-of-state move away from all friends and family. It was around this time that I could really start to sense some unhappiness. We had some big fights from time to time, but I figured this was just how marriage was. Life is stressful and neither of us is perfect. I can remember so vividly in those days how controlling I was. For most of our marriage, my husband has been a stay-at-home dad while I worked outside of the home. I remember being so fed up with him playing video games while I was at work that I would take the controllers with me. That would surely send him a message, I thought. I was in complete control of our finances, and during those tough years of being very, very broke, I took away his ATM card just to make sure that he didn’t spend any money unnecessarily. By 2013, I viewed my husband as a roommate and wanted out of our marriage.
Thankfully, I still had Laura Doyle’s The Surrendered Wife, which my mother-in-law had given me just a few months before I got married. The first time I read it, back in 2007, I saw some of myself in its pages, but pretty much brushed the book off. When I read it again, I felt like Laura and I were the same person! I sought out private coaching in February of 2014, and the first few months of transformation were very difficult. I can recall having a huge blowout with my husband, only to have him hand me the phone and say, “talk to your coach.” My coach calls in these times of crisis strengthened my resolve, and as I got more and more comfortable with the Intimacy Skills™, things began to change.
I found that not only was I happier and more relaxed, but my husband changed back to the amazing man I knew him to be. He went out of his way to make me happy and praised me constantly for how much improvement I was showing. Instead of viewing him as a roommate, I viewed him with honor and respect; two words that I wouldn’t have used many years ago. Out of my surrendering came some amazing changes! My husband now solely takes care of our finances, and we have a more luxurious lifestyle than ever before. We have a mutual support and admiration for each other, and I have even found myself to be a better mother after taking time to implement self-care.
Seeing how my marriage impacted my family dynamic is what really motivated me to become a coach. I was so overwhelmed working full time and then felt I was expected to come home and be super mom to my two young kids. I couldn’t handle it all and became very resentful toward my children. I wasn’t the mother I should have been to them because I wasn’t being the wife I should have been! This link was crucial for me to recognize, and I want to inspire and help other moms realize that by transforming your marriage you will transform every aspect of your family life.
When I look back at my journey, it is one filled with awe; I can’t believe I let things get so bad, and I also can’t believe how good things are now. I have the marriage I envisioned when we first wed seven years ago. My life is beautiful, and I owe it all to the work I’ve done with support from Laura and her coaches. Laura and I want to help you have the same kind of intimacy, passion and peace in your relationship. To learn how, apply for a Discovery Session here.