Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach
London, United Kingdom
Muslim wife living the hectic London life with her wonderful husband of 11 years and two beautiful boys
My journey on how I strived to get the marriage I wanted by Shazia Ali
I blamed everything else on why I was not satisfied with my marriage. I blamed my husband because I felt he didn’t really give me the time I needed. I blamed his two smart phones (which he carries everywhere with him) for our communication problem. I blamed his job for lack of energy and motivation for our boys and me especially, as he spent a lot of time abroad. I blamed his commitment to the local mosque for taking up his spare time on the weekends. I blamed his routine of watching TV without fail in the evening for keeping away from me. Saturdays were always busy with the extended family ‘get together’ and Sundays were busy with endless household chores, the kid’s homework and their martial arts lesson. I was attending college one day a week and working three days a week. I was tired and resentful and felt alone in my marriage. It seemed like he did his thing and I did mine. We were just merely living together, in fact I felt we were bumping in to each other briefly in the evenings and the connection and affection we once shared was dying quickly.
I always lived in the fear of divorce. I saw my parent’s divorce at the age of five and it was not something I would want to put my children through or myself! So I was on a mission to improve my marriage, to get it to be the best I could ever make it. So how did I do it? I made a choice. I chose to make this marriage the blissful reunion I always wanted it to be.
It all started with an intention and the doors started to open….
I was on an Islamic webinar course when the shaykh (Islamic Scholar) mentioned a book, The Surrendered Wife in the marriage/relationship segment of the course. Although he mentioned a few other books this one stuck in my head and I ordered it straight away.
I was pleasantly surprised with the wisdom in Laura’s book and when I applied some of the principles I saw some changes in my marriage.
When I heard that Laura was looking to train up some coaches I applied for the course and found myself training up as a Laura Doyle Certified Coach. I lived the principles to the deepest level during my training course. It was an eye opening, humbling and life changing or I should say marriage changing experience!
So how are things now in my marriage?
We have a happier marriage and the affection is back! Here are some of the instant results I achieved whilst taking on some of the principles:
Not too long ago, I expressed my pure desire to my husband to put up the door to our bathroom cabinet. Previously, I tried everything to get this job done, from sarcastic comments to complaining.
Result: My husband was like Super Man that day. He had committed to DIY work at the mosque, to his mum and my mum too. I was sure he wouldn’t be able to do our door but somehow he did it! This made me feel like my needs are important to him.
Showing vulnerability is not one of my strong points so this took a bit of practising for me however I admitted ‘I needed help’ with the kids.
Result: He now helps our boys with their homework every Sunday and takes them to school in the morning at least once a week.
I wanted him to come home early one evening from work and instead of asking him what time he was getting home I texted him ‘I miss you’.
Result: He replied he was leaving work and coming home!
The changes in our marriage have been huge! Each time I applied Laura’s principles something amazing happened in our marriage. Also the fact that her principles are in line with Islamic guidelines was a big bonus for me.
Here are some comments made by women I have worked with:
“I have worked with Shazia over a course of six weeks. During which she was patient, understanding and most of all – it felt like she got me. She was gentle yet bold enough to challenge me out of my comfort zone. I learnt to affirm my husband as an on-going habit and the affect has rippled to my children being appreciative of their dad’s efforts!”
Tatianna S, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
“The results have been tremendous! After speaking with you I have felt so much more confident that my marriage can actually be a pleasant and less stressful experience. I noticed a huge change after just one session! This change resulted in more positive emotions between both spouses rather than negative ones…”
“I have been able to look upon my marriage with new eyes!”
“It has been very beneficial and I already have mentioned you to my closest friends”
Rouhy K, London, UK
Are you struggling with your marriage? I can help:
- Bring intimacy and affection back in to your marriage
- Create harmony and peace in your marriage
- Wives receive help from their husbands and create more time for themselves
- Wives who live with their parent-in-laws and other extended family
- Create peace around financial issues
- Get more help with raising the kids
- Muslim women who want coaching in line with their Islamic Belief
- Wives who are from Indian subcontinent countries who would like coaching from someone who can relate to Asian cultural issues
*Please note I only coach wives, thank you
Laura and I want to help you have the same kind of intimacy, passion and peace in your relationship. To learn how, apply for a Discovery Session here