Laura Doyle Relationship Coach
Awakening My Feminine Spirit
I was the quintessential tomboy growing up. If it was fun, messy, and sweaty, I was in. I biked, I batted, I swam, I played hard.
I was the best guy on the team!
Crying was for wimps. I was a carnivore–a meat and potatoes gal who preferred denim over pink and wore men’s oversized tees.
Eventually, I exchanged my love of sports, an oversized wardrobe, and hot dog diet for salads, a passion for learning, and makeup and heels. Although I had somewhat morphed into a woman externally, my feminine spirit remained completely dormant.
I met my husband and we dated for a short time. I couldn’t understand why my soon-to-be husband seemed distant after he took me to an arcade on our third date and kindly offered to play air hockey, only to be badly defeated twice by his girl. Or the time I showed up in my Hugo Boss men’s sweater and offered to lend it to him if he got cold (he quickly declined).
I didn’t know how unattractive I was showing up in my male spirit dressed in a feminine skirt.
I come from a family of matriarchs who pride themselves on doing everything around the house but the lightbulbs, as my mother always used to say. I knew I would follow in their footsteps because not only was I capable and strong enough but it was what I chose for my married life.
I wanted to dedicate my life to allowing my husband to pursue his spiritual path without any distractions. I would be the martyr who could do it all.
I happily took on all responsibility as my commitment to him. It was easy at first, then came the babies in quick succession, all while I held down a job and ran every detail of the home. It was then that martyrism lost its appeal and idealism became realism. I was left with a lot of resentment. I felt so alone, so overwhelmed, so tired.
I actually booked an appointment with the doctor, hoping to put a diagnosis to my misery and exhaustion. After the examination and blood work was complete, he asked how many hours I slept, how many meals I ate, and how many hours I worked. I bowed out of the office in defeat and understood there was no medication that would fix my unhappiness.
I had completely lost my sense of self. The happy, fun-loving, spontaneous me had been replaced by a bottomless pit of neediness and anger. I made the obvious assumption that if I was doing everything then the one job my husband should have was to make me happy! And that was a command! Well, I did wear the pants after all.
All my demands and complaints were getting me nowhere and fast. I was so desperate for help.
That’s when an innocent conversation with a friend who was celebrating the gift of a diamond bracelet turned out to be the answer to my prayers.
Receiving her diamond bracelet was thanks to a powerful program she told me about: If you follow Laura’s instructions, you can get whatever you want from your hubby.
It sounded miraculous, and my marriage needed just that.
I bought the book The Empowered Wife that same day! After reading it cover to cover, I knew there was no turning back.
It was so moving to discover a part of myself I had never known: my five feminine gifts. It felt so right to connect to my truest self. It was like coming home.
I was totally blown away that I was responsible for my own happiness. I had been so focused on my misery, accustomed to blaming my unhappiness on my husband.
Owning my own happiness and practicing extreme self-care brought out something beautiful and feminine in me that felt so liberating. I went on an inner search to find all the activities, hobbies, and desires I had never honored. I went away alone and reveled in meditation, solitude, and spa treatments. I changed jobs to one that brought me joy and happiness. I exercised and had plain old fun.
I was coming alive again.
I also experienced my femininity by letting go of all control. I gave the finances over on a silver platter. I duct taped straight through our anniversary getaway, which my husband had planned for the first time. I stayed really quiet as I learned to listen instead of complaining and direct. I also committed to trusting my husband’s wise thinking by saying “whatever you think.”
Vulnerability allowed me to accept my imperfections and to let go of all my martyr notions. It allowed me to create a truly soft place to connect intimately with my husband.
The Skills proved so powerful that I enrolled in coach training to empower all women with the tools that were transforming my marriage. What I didn’t know was that I still had a lot of perfecting and toning to do. I was far from done, as the knowledge I thought I’d picked up from the book was just the tip of the iceberg.
Becoming a coach turned out to be a side benefit. What actually did emerge empowered me in my own marriage more than I could have ever dreamed, thereby allowing me to support others.
What could be more valuable than training with Laura and the rest of her team? I could touch the serenity–it’s so tangible in their presence. Nor had I ever experienced the vulnerability that I found in the group. It took time to break down my own barriers of perfection and accept myself as a mere mortal woman.
With that honesty and vulnerability came pure liberation–I was free! A bond of unity based on shared experiences within the group strengthened my resolve to be my best self among these amazing women.
Today, I am so empowered as a woman with the knowledge that intimacy far outweighs control, so humbled and grateful that I have uncovered my inner truth and happiness.
And delighted to have the marriage I could never have known had I still been one of the guys.
It is my passion today to empower every woman with the gifts of her femininity.
Laura and I want to help you rediscover the intimacy, passion and peace in your marriage. Click here to apply for your FREE Discovery call.