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From a Crippling Crisis to Best Friends Again

My Husband My Best Friend

What I Learned from Becoming a Surrendered Wife

By Angie Kjellberg

In the spring of 2001 my marriage was in a very bad place.

We’d just had the worst fight of our six-year marriage and my husband took our son and left, saying he could provide a better life for him. I collapsed onto the kitchen floor sobbing.

We were lucky that my parents helped us have an intervention that night, and we both committed to trying again.

I came across The Surrendered Wife online after typing “Husband and Wife Games” in the browser.

I was looking for something to help us connect better. I read the free chapter and recognized my controlling mother instantly (sorry, mom), printed the free chapter and gave it to her the first chance I could.

Meanwhile, the subtitle of the book, “A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with a Man” did resonate with me. I wanted that!

I read the book in days. I saw immediate improvements in my marriage, but I realized I had a problem. Click To Tweet
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My Lazy Husband Became My Selfless Hero

The Power of Gratitude

How I Improved My Marriage All By Myself

By Courtney Elder, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

A Smile a Day Kept Divorce Away

Have you ever met someone who just radiates positivity? Someone so happy and wonderful it makes you cringe?

That wasn’t me.

If you had known me BCE (Before Coaching Era), you’d know that I always had a complaint.

From the house not being clean enough to the kids being too loud, anything that happened in my life always had a negative spin.

My husband, on the other hand, is the eternal optimist. So whenever I had a complaint, it really rubbed him the wrong way.

Sometimes my issue would be about something general, but often it was about him or something he had done. He could never measure up to the idealistic image I had for how he should act.

For instance, it seemed like common sense that because my husband stayed home with our kids and I was out working, it was his job to maintain the house. For me, that included keeping it very clean every single day, having dinner on the table when I got home, and listening to all of my complaints about work.

Honestly, it’s pretty embarrassing to admit that’s how I felt, but years ago, I really did think those things were his job!

Do you think I had an intimate marriage? I sure didn’t. I was constantly unhappy, and he felt berated because he never measured up.

What I didn’t know then was the powerful skill would change not just my marriage, but my whole life Click To Tweet
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Passionate and Playful in 2017

Save Your Marriage

Passionate and Playful in 2017

How to Finally Get Your New Year’s Resolution to Stick

If you’re anything like I was, this isn’t the first year you’ve resolved to improve your relationship.

I said it year after year because I was so stuck and didn’t know what to do to get my husband to pay attention to me, be more affectionate and be more responsible.

But 2017 can really be different. And I don’t mean because you’re going to try harder.

That never works. I’m tired just thinking about trying harder.

And going to counseling won’t make 2017 any better than 2016 has been. Most couples who get traditional marriage counseling end up separated within a year.

It won’t be because you decide to be more giving and supportive to your man. I know you hear that everywhere, but trust me that’s not the road you want to go down this year.

Not if you want your relationship to be amazing. And who doesn’t want that?

Here’s what will make your relationship vibrant and shiny in 2017.

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The 5 Best Date Movies That Will Save Your Relationship

Best Date Movies

The 5 Best Date Movies That Will Save Your Relationship

Science Shows RomComs Are Better for Relationships than Couples Therapy

Watching a movie may not seem like an effective way to improve your relationship, but it is.

If you’re lacking inspiration, motivation or hope right now, watching a film is not a bad way to get started with restoring playfulness and connection.

I know it sounds like I’m making this up, but researchers at University of Rochester are standing by me on this one.

They found that discussing 5 movies about relationships over a month helped newlyweds in the first 3 years of marriage cut the divorce rate by more than half, from 24% to 11%.

They even found it was more effective than therapist-led methods at keeping couples matrimonially minded. So this is better than counseling. Way better!

Plus it’s fun.

Therefore you have permission to plant yourself on the couch with snacks and the remote.

If anybody gives you grief about this, tell that person you’re doing it for the good of your relationship.

Tell ‘em I said to.

The researchers at Rochester and I have your back.

Here are 5 movies that can save your relationship: Click To Tweet
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My Husband Lies to Me

My Husband Lies to Me

My Husband Lies to Me

How to End the Deception and Have an Honest Relationship

If you’ve ever caught your husband lying about where he was, who he was with or what he was doing, you know how much it stings.

If the lies were to cover up his drinking or smoking or who he was with, it can shake you to your core.

After all, how much worse can it get than him lying to his wife? What else is he lying about?

Isn’t honesty a basic requirement of a marriage?

Your friends and family will likely add fuel to the fire by assuring you that him lying to you is a serious problem.

But before you give him an ultimatum or stop trusting him completely, consider an approach that will preserve the connection between you first.

Here’s how to keep your husband honest. Click To Tweet
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How I Make My Marriage Loving, Passionate and Easy

How to make your husband love you

The Secret to Avoiding Potholes and Detours on the Road to Connection

By Leticia Vasquez, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I live in Amsterdam, where having a bike is crucial.

Bikes let me fly through the city and arrive at my destination in half the time that a car takes.

I enjoy the scenery at every stoplight and I’m engaged in the world around me. I never have to stress over unexpected detours or long lanes of traffic.

In the rare case that I get caught in a snag, I know how to be on my way quickly. And it’s great exercise to boot.

I can get around without a bike, no doubt. But I’ll face many obstacles and delays along the way, plenty of speed bumps and red lights.

When things are going at an acceptable snail’s pace, a road is closed, and I have to take a detour. I finally arrive at my destination to find nary a parking spot. I go round and round, frantically searching for one.

By the time I park, I’ve taken so many detours and had so many near misses that my mood is not so great.

Woe be the person who crosses my path at that point. I can’t be held responsible for my response.

Except that I can.

And I didn’t used to respond very well, as you’ll see from this embarrassing story.

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Husband Drinks Too Much

Husband Drinks Too Much

Husband Drinks Too Much

3 Ways to Get Him to Pick You Over Alcohol

Like anyone who drinks too much, your husband gets annoying and stupid when he’s intoxicated.

It might be nice if he never did that, but the bigger question is whether your man’s drinking is over the line.

Maybe he drinks every night, or drinks to oblivion on a regular basis, or gets mean when he drinks.

Maybe he’s missed work, family events, or had run-ins with the law from drinking. Maybe when he gets started he just keeps going on a bender for weeks.

Aren’t those indications that he’s got a problem?

And if he’s got a serious problem, then doesn’t that mean you have one too, since you’re married to a problem drinker, or maybe even an alcoholic?

It’s scary to think about, because we’ve all heard about the financial, emotional, and health problems drunks cause themselves and their families.

But does it have to be that way?

In my experience, wives have tremendous influence over their husband’s drinking. Knowing how to use that influence wisely can make a huge difference.

Here are 3 ways you can influence your husband’s drinking for the better. Click To Tweet

(Actually, this works for any behavior you want to influence.)

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How I Single-Handedly Saved My Broken Marriage

How I Single-Handedly Saved My Broken Marriage

What I Wish Every Woman Knew About Relationships, But Most Don’t
By Kathy Murray, Senior Relationship Coach

When my second marriage was on the brink of divorce, I tried going to marriage counseling, but that didn’t get my marriage in any better shape.

It didn’t make my husband show interest in me, like I wanted him to.

It didn’t make him discipline the children the way I wanted him to.

It certainly didn’t improve our sex life.

In my desperation, I also read dozens of books about how to be successful in marriage.

Sometimes I couldn’t relate to the author at all. Or I would nod as I read, but still have no idea how to fix those problems I just mentioned.

But one day, I finally did something that made my marriage magical again. Click To Tweet

The effects have lasted for over 15 years.

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How I Divorced My Imaginary Husband (and Got the Man of My Dreams)

The Man of My Dreams

How I Divorced My Imaginary Husband (and Got the Man of My Dreams)

Could this one habit be blocking a passionate, playful marriage?
By Sarah Ellis

I used to be married to a figment of my imagination.

My imaginary husband was very affectionate. He always greeted me with a huge smile, and hug and a kiss when he walked through the door.

He was very romantic. He bought me flowers and chocolate and prepared candlelit dinners and wrote me love letters to express his devotion to me.

He always knew just the way to comfort me when I was down. He would say, “Honey, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. What can I do to make you feel better?”

He always offered to clean the kitchen after dinner and never left a mess.

He replaced light bulbs and fixed broken parts as soon as I asked him–or even before I asked him.

He was so punctual and always accompanied me to events, arriving perfectly on time.

He was a spiffy dresser, just like my brother. He never had a stain, and I was always proud of the way he looked.

He was just like my father: really frugal with his money, never buying frivolous things like sweets and sodas and, of course, never feeding that junk to our children.

He always agreed with me and complimented me on my intelligence and ingenuity.

He always knew what to do, and never made mistakes or got us lost.

My imaginary husband was absolutely perfect–just the way I wanted him to be.

Until one day, I made a decision that changed my marriage forever. Click To Tweet
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Is There Hope for My Marriage?

Is There Hope for My Marriage?

Is There Hope for My Marriage?

4 Questions to Definitively Know Right Now

If you’re asking yourself if there’s hope for your marriage, it means you’re going through a lot of heartache. After all, no one asks that about a marriage that’s full of hand-holding and sweet nothings.

That question only comes up when you’re incredibly hurt and angry, and you’ve been feeling that way for a long time.

Even though it was long ago, I still remember feeling that way, and it was lousy.

I remember thinking there was no way things were going to improve and it was completely hopeless because he was not going to change.

Of course, I was wrong. Things could improve, and they did–beyond my wildest dreams.

And wouldn’t you know it–I was the one who had the power all along, just like Dorothy.

But what about your situation?

Is there hope for your marriage? Here are 4 questions to help you definitively know--right now. Click To Tweet
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