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My Marriage is Miserable

My Marriage Is Miserable

How I Stopped the Fighting

Sonya, Laura Doyle Certified Coach
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” —Proverbs 21:9 (NIV)

I met my husband in college, and disrespect started early—even before we got married.

He said he’d always dreamed his bride would come down the aisle followed by a long white train. I found a gown with a short train. He didn’t see until our wedding day that I had completely disregarded his wishes.

Six months into marriage, I complained bitterly to my mom and sister that I couldn’t see any advantage to being married.

I worked and he was in school, which created an awkward dynamic. He was spending my money, going golfing with his friends, or settling into a book or playing computer games at home, and I was lonely a lot. My expectations for a happy, fun, never-alone relationship were not being met.

I was miserable and told him so.

But we couldn’t stop fighting, until I learned these hacks for a happy marriage. Click To Tweet
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My Husband Disappoints Me All the Time

My Husband Disappoints Me All the Time

5 Ways to Inspire Him to Be a Better Man

Being constantly disappointed in your marriage can wear you down and make you hopeless about the future.

Maybe your husband disappoints you when it comes to celebrations–he forgets your anniversary, gets you a present that has nothing to do with what you like, or acts like it’s just another Wednesday.

Or, let’s say he complains when you’re sick because you aren’t doing the things you normally do. The demoralizing message is that you’re not that important except for what you contribute, not to mention his lack of compassion when you just want to be taken care of!

Or he may be a disappointment in a bigger sense, like not showing up to be the dad your kids deserve.

Either way, you don’t have to just suck it up and continue to hurt endlessly.

Here are 5 ways you can inspire your man to treat you better. Click To Tweet
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My Husband Abandoned Me Then Became the Man of My Dreams

My Husband Abandoned Me Then Became the Man of My Dreams

Mari-Jean Anderson, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I have always believed in marriage.

I just couldn’t make it work.

First married for two years at 18 and again at 35, this time for only a year, I could not figure out how to be in love for very long.

In 2003, at age 53, I found myself falling in love once again, this time with Clark, a confirmed bachelor who had dated a number of women I knew. Ever optimistic, we married in 2004.

It didn’t take long for things to fall apart.

Although we married in November, Clark didn’t move in with me until after January. I would spend night after night by myself in my house, a new bride alone in her bed.

I was ashamed to tell my friends that my husband preferred the short commute from his old home to his office rather than making the drive to be with me at night. I felt angry and neglected.

I was determined to write a better ending to the story.

Here’s how I made my marriage passionate even after my husband abandoned me. Click To Tweet
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Selfish Husband: The Cure for the Chronically Self-Consumed Man

Selfish Husband

The Cure for the Chronically Self-Consumed Man

When your husband doesn’t clean up even his part of the mess but just leaves it for you to do or plays video games instead of putting the kids to bed or wants you to notice the yard work he did but never says a word about all the work you do, it can get irritating.

When he makes plans without checking with you, forgets to tell you about them, then disappears when he knew he was supposed to help out with moving the furniture, it can make you resentful.

If your guy sleeps through middle-of-the-night feedings, expects sex whenever he feels like it, and seems to want you to solve all of his problems like the world revolves around him, it’s not only exhausting, it’s lonely.

But there is a solution.

Here’s how to get your selfish man to be giving so you can get a break. Click To Tweet
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Stella’s Success Story: Attracting Him Back when He Wanted Out

Stella’s Success Story: Attracting Him Back when He Wanted Out

By Stella McBride

I’d been married to the man of my dreams for 22 years. Our marriage seemed idyllic to others, but the cumulative pain of having the same arguments again and again was overwhelming us both.

On the worst days, when I most wanted him to comfort me, he would avoid me. I would sob in my bed for hours. I was so lonely in my happy-looking home, and so sure he was to blame.

Then, one summer day I found affectionate notes between him and an old girlfriend on a messaging app on our home computer.

I was devastated, he was sorry, and we started counseling.

After a couple of months, it was abundantly clear that verbally bashing each other and bringing up hurt feelings for an hour every other week was doing more harm than good, so we quit.

Here’s what the therapist didn’t tell me about how to attract my husband back. Click To Tweet
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Making Up after a Fight

Making Up after a Fight

3 Power Moves to Restore Peace after a Breakdown

If you’re anything like I was, when you fight with your partner you both say nasty things.

It can be shocking to see how low this thing you live with will go.

And while I’ve said some regrettable things during a fight, the biggest thing on my mind when it’s over is that he owes me an apology. Big time!

And it’d better be a good one, to convince me that he’s really sorry and he’ll never do it again.

Until then, I will show that I am waiting for said apology by being distant and having an irritated look on my face.

That ought to motivate him.

But it didn’t. Mostly that approach got me a cold war and wall-to-wall hostility.

It’s stressful. It’s hurtful. Fortunately, I have a better post-fight game plan now.

Here are 3 power moves to restore the peace and connection after a fight. Click To Tweet
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How I Changed My Family’s Legacy of Divorce to One of Strong, Happy Marriage

How I Changed My Family’s Legacy of Divorce to One of Strong, Happy Marriage

Carol Beauchemin, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I come from generations of divorce. It seemed that was to be the destiny of my 26-year marriage as well.

Raising three children, self-employment, financial challenges and stress all put tremendous pressure on my husband and me, and our relationship was beaten down.

I resented the lack of partnership from him and felt very alone raising our children. The economy drop hurt our finances severely, and my fears consumed me—something he didn’t know how to handle.

When I expressed my fear, he heard only criticism and we were off to the races, not understanding one another on any level. I tried to fix things, but my control hurt our marriage and pushed him away. I lacked the tools to navigate these marital challenges.

I had no clue that a few simple skills could help me end the cycle of divorce in my family. Click To Tweet
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How to Talk About Sex

How to Talk about Sex

3 Ways to Keep It Steamy and Get What You Want

If the sex in your relationship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, you’re not alone.

Women tell me there hasn’t been any physical intimacy since the baby was born–and he’s four.

Or that her husband is always after her for sex, but she just feels used.

Or that she’s tired of feeling so rushed and pressured in the bedroom. She’ll say her husband’s idea of foreplay is to say “Brace yourself.”

Of course these women are frustrated, to say the least. And they’re wondering how things are ever going to improve with so much resentment and hurt standing in the way.

Life is too short to suck it up and suffer through an unsatisfying sex life, but what’s the alternative? How do you talk about it?

After all, talking about sex can feel awkward, and talking during sex can kill the moment.

Here are 3 ways to talk about sex, get what you want and still keep things steamy. Click To Tweet
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Lost the Connection in My Marriage

Lost the Connection in My Marriage

Rhonda Jones

I have been married to my highschool sweetheart for over 30 years. We were pretty happy for the most part but struggled with a small part–the one where I tried to manipulate him into being the way I thought he should be.

We had been dating for nine years before he finally asked me to marry him, so we had children right away. I would tell him how to parent. I often got in the middle of his disciplining them to let him know I disagreed with his punishment, which I did in front of the kids.

I felt I needed to control the money too since he hadn’t learned to manage a bank account in his bachelor days. After complaining that our life plan was not working out, I would demand that we have “a talk.”

This is where I did most of the talking and he would nod, as if he were on the same page agreeing with every word I said about how things needed to be in order to work.

If only he would do what he was supposed to, we would get along just fine, or so I thought. Unfortunately, he didn’t respond in kind.

Here’s how I averted divorce and restored the connection in my marriage: Click To Tweet
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Talking about Feelings

Talking about Feelings

5 Communication Myths that Are Ruining Your Relationship

You already know that talking about feelings is the key to having a good relationship with someone you love.

But if you’re anything like I was, sometimes expressing your feelings starts a big fight, leaving you feeling like it’s not safe to share your inner self.

It’s crummy. Here you are revealing your truth and the response you get from the person who’s supposed to love and support you is distance or downright disregard.

There’s no lonelier feeling.

Fortunately, I’ve uncovered some common myths about communicating that were hurting my relationship. Now that I know how to talk about my feelings while increasing the connection with my husband, I want everyone else to know too!

Here are 5 communication myths that are ruining your relationship: Click To Tweet
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