{"id":10725,"date":"2020-05-04T12:41:43","date_gmt":"2020-05-04T19:41:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/?p=10725"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:08","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:08","slug":"when-your-husband-says-he-is-done","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/","title":{"rendered":"When Your Husband Says He Is Done"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When your husband says he is done or, worse, leaves you, it is devastating.<\/p>\n<p>If he has left and you still love him, it\u2019s easy to feel hopeless. It seems like there\u2019s nothing you can do since he has clearly made his mind up.<\/p>\n<p>But what if the breakdown in your marriage is actually a doorway to a breakthrough?<\/p>\n<p>Here are 4 ways to win back <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-hates-me\/\">your husband&#8217;s<\/a> heart, no matter what he has said.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#1_Delight_Yourself_at_Least_3_Times_Today\" title=\"Delight Yourself at Least 3 Times Today\">Delight Yourself at Least 3 Times Today<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#2_Get_the_Magic_Words\" title=\"Get the Magic Words\">Get the Magic Words<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#3_Get_a_Strong_Support_Base\" title=\"Get a Strong Support Base\">Get a Strong Support Base<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#4_Get_Back_Your_Dating_Spark\" title=\"Get Back Your Dating Spark\">Get Back Your Dating Spark<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Delight_Yourself_at_Least_3_Times_Today\"><\/span>1. Delight Yourself at Least 3 Times Today<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>While it may not seem like it right now, your happiness is his drug.<\/p>\n<p>But if you\u2019re anything like I was when my marriage broke down, you\u2019ve probably forgotten what being ridiculously happy feels like.<\/p>\n<p>Or what made you so playful, joyful, and irresistible back when you attracted your man.<\/p>\n<p>Losing touch with that fun side of yourself kills the intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>So how about trying something different?<\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10726\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/self-care-in-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Self Care in Marriage\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/self-care-in-marriage.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/self-care-in-marriage-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/self-care-in-marriage-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/self-care-in-marriage-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/self-care-in-marriage-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/self-care-in-marriage-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Put self-care #1 on your agenda. Do what makes you feel most <em>you<\/em>, whether it\u2019s crossfit, cross-stitching, or just hanging out with your BFFs.<\/p>\n<p>The more frivolous, the better!<\/p>\n<p>When Connie\u2019s husband told her he was no longer attracted to her, she knew divorce was on the horizon.<\/p>\n<p>She took matters into her own hands by becoming the queen of self-care.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-139637117\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Not only did her husband follow suit, taking care of himself and even lowering his blood pressure, he noticed how attractive his wife had suddenly become.<\/p>\n<p>He wanted to spend devotional time together&#8211;and sexy time!<\/p>\n<p>She was only hoping he wouldn\u2019t divorce her. But today Connie says it\u2019s hard to believe her marriage is better than it ever was.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s no wonder she reignited the spark. Men are visual. When you do things that make you feel good, your smile and open body language show him that your marriage can be playful and passionate again. Nobody wants to get away from that!<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2563004552\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Get_the_Magic_Words\"><\/span>2. Get the Magic Words<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>How did your marriage come to this tipping point? Even if it wasn\u2019t your fault, consider what you can do to make the road ahead smoother.<\/p>\n<p>Make these two words central to your vocabulary: \u201cthank you.\u201d Express gratitude for the little things he does, whether taking out the trash, being affectionate with the kids, or going to work to support the family.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10727\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/appreciate-your-husband.jpg\" alt=\"Appreciate Your Husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/appreciate-your-husband.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/appreciate-your-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/appreciate-your-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/appreciate-your-husband-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/appreciate-your-husband-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/appreciate-your-husband-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019ve overlooked everything he does to make you happy because it was so much easier to see all the things he wasn&#8217;t doing.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s where another vocabulary adjustment comes to the rescue: apologizing for the times you\u2019ve been disrespectful.<\/p>\n<p>Did you dismiss his thinking when he wanted to stock up on ammo for the apocalypse and tell him what a dumb idea that was?<\/p>\n<p>Did you demean him, joking to your friends about having an extra child to take care of?<\/p>\n<p>Did you criticize him for failing at his job search?<\/p>\n<p>Did you try to control him? Maybe you were just trying to be helpful about his diet or asking a leading question about his wardrobe (\u201cYou\u2019re wearing <em>that?<\/em>\u201d) or telling him what <em>you<\/em> would do about his annoying boss (i.e., the right answer, which he wouldn\u2019t come up with left to his own devices).<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, I didn\u2019t realize those were all forms of disrespect either.<\/p>\n<p>But cleaning up your side of the street by saying \u201cI apologize for being disrespectful when I tried to control your spending\u201d has a way of melting his iciness.<\/p>\n<p>Now that you\u2019ve cleaned your side of the street, do your best to keep it that way.<\/p>\n<p>When you next talk to him, hold back any critical thoughts. Putting him under attack will only drive a bigger wedge between you.<\/p>\n<p>Let him have the floor. When he feels heard, he\u2019ll be more receptive to your verbal and nonverbal cues.<\/p>\n<p>Keep conversations light. Reminisce about old times, share inside jokes or playfully ask him to do something that you did in your courtship days.<\/p>\n<p>Also keep your side of the conversation brief, as I share about in \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-back\/\">How to Get Your Husband Back<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Get_a_Strong_Support_Base\"><\/span>3. Get a Strong Support Base<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Your biggest cheerleader?<\/p>\n<p>You!<\/p>\n<p>Start by changing your internal monologue. Wallowing in self-pity and recrimination only reinforces all the hurtful things you want to say the next time you see him.<\/p>\n<p>Halting that mental loop can seem impossible when you\u2019re feeling so heartbroken. If that\u2019s the case, go back to step 1 and pour on the self-care!<\/p>\n<p>The biggest detriment to taking care of yourself&#8211;and to saving your marriage?<\/p>\n<p>Naysayers.<\/p>\n<p>They\u2019re easy to find. Even your well-meaning friends and family may say things like \u201cYou deserve better\u201d rather than standing for <em>your<\/em> vision for your relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Listening to those voices is the surest route to your marriage hitting a dead end.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10729\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/marriage-support.jpg\" alt=\"Marriage Support\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/marriage-support.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/marriage-support-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/marriage-support-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/marriage-support-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/marriage-support-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/marriage-support-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>So be extra careful to surround yourself with people who are genuinely rooting for you and your relationship. Try to avoid heart-to-hearts with anyone encouraging you to leave him.<\/p>\n<p>Express to your closest friends your desire to save the marriage. This will remove the negative dialogue in your life.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Get my <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/rm4o\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">FREE Roadmap<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to fill yourself up with positivity and possibility.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Get_Back_Your_Dating_Spark\"><\/span>4. Get Back Your Dating Spark<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Approach every meeting with him as if it were a date. Get dressed, get flirty and turn on the charm.<\/p>\n<p>Keep non-physical contact short. Texts and phone calls should be a teaser so that he wants to see you even more.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10730\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/how-to-make-your-husband-feel-like-a-man.jpg\" alt=\"How to Make Your Husband Feel Like a Man\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/how-to-make-your-husband-feel-like-a-man.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/how-to-make-your-husband-feel-like-a-man-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/how-to-make-your-husband-feel-like-a-man-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/how-to-make-your-husband-feel-like-a-man-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/how-to-make-your-husband-feel-like-a-man-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/how-to-make-your-husband-feel-like-a-man-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When you see him, he loves it when you make him feel like the man. Ask for his help opening the pickle jar or replacing that light bulb.<\/p>\n<p>Restore your physical connection by hugging, hand holding or cuddling. It might feel really vulnerable right now, but a kiss on the cheek or resting your hand on his during conversation shows you&#8217;re open to being intimate.<\/p>\n<p>If he\u2019s in the doghouse, break him out. Intimacy in the bedroom is incredibly important to repair a fractured marriage.<\/p>\n<p>When Stella\u2019s husband fell in love with another woman, moved out and asked for a divorce, she was a sobbing mess.<\/p>\n<p>But when he came over, that\u2019s not what he saw.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, she lit up when he walked into the room. She flaunted new lingerie in the kitchen, reaching into the highest cupboard so he\u2019d get a little peepshow.<\/p>\n<p>Before long, he started initiating sex. She was all in. Instead of punishing him and blocking the intimate marriage she wanted, she received his physical affection.<\/p>\n<p>She then started receiving dinners and movies, flowers and cards. And, ultimately, him moving back to their bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>If your marriage feels like it\u2019s falling apart, you might think it\u2019s too late to apply these 4 secrets to winning back his heart.<\/p>\n<p>But when women on our campus find the courage to experiment even when they think it\u2019s completely hopeless, to quote Thomas Wolfe, \u201cMiracles not only happen&#8230; they happen all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When your husband says he is done or, worse, leaves you, it is devastating. If he has left and you still love him, it\u2019s easy to feel hopeless. It seems like there\u2019s nothing you can do since he has clearly made his mind up. But what if the breakdown in your marriage is actually a\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10731,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[709],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-10725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-and-separation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>When Your Husband Says He Is Done [4 Ways to Get Him to Try]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Has your husband said that he\u2019s done or, worse, left you? Here\u2019s 4 powerful ways to convince your husband to fight for your marriage.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When Your Husband Says He Is Done [4 Ways to Get Him to Try]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Has your husband said that he\u2019s done or, worse, left you? Here\u2019s 4 powerful ways to convince your husband to fight for your marriage.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-05-04T19:41:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:34:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"When Your Husband Says He Is Done\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-05-04T19:41:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:08+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/\"},\"wordCount\":1166,\"commentCount\":26,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Divorce &amp; Separation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/\",\"name\":\"When Your Husband Says He Is Done [4 Ways to Get Him to Try]\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/when-your-husband-says-he-is-done.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-05-04T19:41:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:08+00:00\",\"description\":\"Has your husband said that he\u2019s done or, worse, left you? 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