{"id":14089,"date":"2021-12-23T07:00:27","date_gmt":"2021-12-23T15:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/?p=14089"},"modified":"2024-01-05T20:07:24","modified_gmt":"2024-01-06T04:07:24","slug":"how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Your Husband to Love You Again"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re going through a separation, infidelity, or the threat of divorce, your world feels like it\u2019s falling apart.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s nothing more painful than finding out there\u2019s another woman or hearing the D word.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a shock that is both heart-wrenching and gut-wrenching.<\/p>\n<p>How can you make your husband miss you badly? How do you get your husband to notice you sexually?<\/p>\n<p>Especially when he\u2019ll barely give you the time of day?<\/p>\n<p>If you want to know how to make your husband fall in love with you again after separation, cheating, or him asking for a divorce, you\u2019re in the right place.<\/p>\n<p>Here are four surefire ways to singlehandedly <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-doesnt-love-me\/\">make your husband fall in love with you<\/a> all over again, even if it seems hopeless right now.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again\/#1_Give_Him_Space\" title=\" Give Him Space\"> Give Him Space<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again\/#2_Cancel_the_State-of-the-Union_Talks\" title=\" Cancel the State-of-the-Union Talks\"> Cancel the State-of-the-Union Talks<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again\/#3_Start_with_a_Clean_Slate\" title=\" Start with a Clean Slate\"> Start with a Clean Slate<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again\/#4_Lets_Give_Him_Something_to_Talk_About\" title=\" Let\u2019s Give Him Something to Talk About\"> Let\u2019s Give Him Something to Talk About<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again\/#5_Love_Thyself_as_Thy_Best_Self\" title=\" Love Thyself as Thy Best Self\"> Love Thyself as Thy Best Self<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Give_Him_Space\"><\/span>1) Give Him Space<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14092\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/focus-on-yourself.jpg\" alt=\"focus on yourself\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/focus-on-yourself.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/focus-on-yourself-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/focus-on-yourself-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/focus-on-yourself-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/focus-on-yourself-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/focus-on-yourself-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When Lizbeth\u2019s husband said he wanted a divorce, she was terrified. What could she do to make him change his mind?<\/p>\n<p>She had some ideas&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>A. Ask him to give her more time<br \/>\nB. Ask him to go to marriage counseling<br \/>\nC. Promise him she would change<br \/>\nD. Nothing<\/p>\n<p>The answer was D: Nothing.<\/p>\n<p>She could not <em>make<\/em> him do anything. She knew that she could not control him. So she decided to relinquish control completely.<\/p>\n<p>But who knew how sneaky <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/top-10-ways-to-control-your-husband\/\">inappropriate control<\/a> could be!<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-401335796\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>From giving him disapproving looks to saying \u201cWe need to go to counseling.\u201d I mean, who <em>wouldn\u2019t<\/em> say that when faced with your marriage falling apart?<\/p>\n<p>Yet somehow Lizbeth managed to quit worrying about what he was doing or not doing, quit trying to get him to do anything. Instead, she focused on herself, with the discipline of a student keeping her eyes on her own test paper at school.<\/p>\n<p>The results were ridiculous.<\/p>\n<p>They had dinner together for the first time in months, and he stayed the night. She said that they did a 180&#8211;and that it happened in just one week!<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2503309746\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Cancel_the_State-of-the-Union_Talks\"><\/span>2) Cancel the State-of-the-Union Talks<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14093\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/keeper-of-the-relationship.jpg\" alt=\"keeper of the relationship\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/keeper-of-the-relationship.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/keeper-of-the-relationship-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/keeper-of-the-relationship-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/keeper-of-the-relationship-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/keeper-of-the-relationship-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/keeper-of-the-relationship-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re not sure whether there\u2019s hope for your marriage, it\u2019s tempting to want to know what he thinks. If only you had the vital information of whether <em>he<\/em> thinks there\u2019s hope. Or what his intentions are.<\/p>\n<p>Right?<\/p>\n<p>When Barb\u2019s husband said, \u201cIt\u2019s hard for me to see us together in the future,\u201d she certainly had the urge for a state-of-the-union talk.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d flown out to see him for the weekend and they had a ten-hour drive ahead of them, the perfect opportunity for a big talk!<\/p>\n<p>But Barb knew that asking him questions like what <em>he<\/em> wanted was letting her eyes wander onto his paper, back in control territory.<\/p>\n<p>She set aside her urge for a big talk, managed to stay off his paper, and&#8211;get this&#8211;decided to show up as her best, happiest self.<\/p>\n<p>Things turned around in unexpected ways.<\/p>\n<p>He surprised her with a nice stay in a fancy hotel. He kept asking what she wanted to do and what she wanted to see. He got her a first-class seat on her plane ride home. When she mentioned that she wanted a new computer, he suggested they go buy one immediately.<\/p>\n<p>But they were too busy enjoying physical intimacy to leave!<\/p>\n<p>Let me tell you a secret, the same one I told Barb.<\/p>\n<p>As the wife, you are the keeper of your relationship. So, regardless of what he may be saying he wants right now, the far more important piece of information is what <em>you<\/em> want.<\/p>\n<p>He said \u201cI do\u201d to you, right? If he changed his mind once, he can change it again.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Start_with_a_Clean_Slate\"><\/span>3) Start with a Clean Slate<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14094\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/respect-in-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"respect in marriage\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/respect-in-marriage.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/respect-in-marriage-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/respect-in-marriage-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/respect-in-marriage-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/respect-in-marriage-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/respect-in-marriage-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Yanira\u2019s husband was asking for a divorce every single day. Her own mother told her to face reality: that she would be getting a divorce. Her husband already had his bag packed. Yanira was crying and begging, even trying to block the door.<\/p>\n<p>She wasn\u2019t feeling very dignified. Plus, she could see that her desperation was not serving her or making him want to stay.<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, she was willing to go to any length to save her marriage. So she did something big.<\/p>\n<p>She uttered these words to her husband: \u201cI apologize for being disrespectful for the past ten years, when I controlled your parenting, what to say and what to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He didn\u2019t know what to make of that because in the past when they\u2019d had those unfortunate state-of-the-union talks, she always told him what he was doing wrong and how to change it.<\/p>\n<p>But it didn\u2019t matter that now she seemed to be making his head spin faster than in <em>The Exorcist<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, it was a good thing.<\/p>\n<p>After she cleaned up her side of the street, not only did he step up to parent their kids and help with their homework (unlike when she was trying to control his parenting), divorce threats became a thing of the past.<\/p>\n<p>Now others actually ask Yanira, \u201cWhy is your marriage so intimate?\u201d!<\/p>\n<p>With the hurtful things your husband has said, chances are, he owes <em>you<\/em> an apology. Maybe you\u2019ve tried to get him to show some accountability and it\u2019s not working. At all.<\/p>\n<p>Or even if it does and he mumbles a \u201csorry,\u201d that doesn&#8217;t quite cut it for you.<\/p>\n<p>If you really want mutual respect in your relationship, why not be the bigger person and restore respect yourself?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not so much about why <em>he<\/em> may feel disrespected (where the focus is back on him) but how <em>you<\/em> feel you\u2019ve controlled or criticized, dismissed or demeaned him. (Yup, this is yet another opportunity to get out of control land by keeping the focus on yourself.)<\/p>\n<p>When you&#8217;re ready to make your man\u2019s head spin, try this magic phrase: \u201cI apologize for being disrespectful when I _________.\u201d Then fill in the blank with something specific.<\/p>\n<p>Then leave it at that, no explanation needed. Because now you&#8217;re clean.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Lets_Give_Him_Something_to_Talk_About\"><\/span>4) Let\u2019s Give Him Something to Talk About<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14095\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/gratitude-in-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"gratitude in marriage\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/gratitude-in-marriage.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/gratitude-in-marriage-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/gratitude-in-marriage-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/gratitude-in-marriage-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/gratitude-in-marriage-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/gratitude-in-marriage-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Okay, so if you\u2019re not indulging in state-of-the-union talks, what are you supposed to talk about?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m all about communication.<\/p>\n<p>Preferably <em>less<\/em> communication.<\/p>\n<p>At least if you\u2019re anything like I was, someone who communicated wayyyyyy too much. Especially when it came to my favorite topics: complaining about what I didn\u2019t have, telling him what he was doing wrong, and trying to get him to do it right.<\/p>\n<p>As an outspoken woman, I thought I was doing things right, yet somehow I kept getting further and further away from the connection I really wanted.<\/p>\n<p>The first communication tool I needed was a big ol\u2019 roll of duct tape. To slap some over my mouth (figuratively, of course)!<\/p>\n<p>It might as well have been literally stuck to my lips though, considering how uncomfortable it was for me.<\/p>\n<p>As I pushed through the discomfort, something strange happened. My husband started talking to me more. A lot more.<\/p>\n<p>Seems I was creating a safe space for him to want to open up and share with me. Just like I\u2019d always wanted!<\/p>\n<p>(I had communicated that too but to no avail. My husband was like Will Ferrell\u2019s character in <em>The Shrink Next Door<\/em>, who says, \u201cI have to talk about my feelings, but my main feeling is I don\u2019t wanna.\u201d)<\/p>\n<p>Something I didn\u2019t wanna talk much about before this whole new approach was appreciation for my man. That would have been out of character since I thought he was a big Loser Pants.<\/p>\n<p>Now that I saw that my complaints and demands weren\u2019t getting me any closer to what I wanted, I tried a very new tack: gratitude.<\/p>\n<p>I expressed my thanks for everything, big and small, past and present, from him taking out the trash (even if he let it pile up far beyond my liking) to being a hard worker (even if he really should ask for a raise). I kept those latter parts to myself, obviously.<\/p>\n<p>And I was so glad I did.<\/p>\n<p>I found that gratitude is way more motivating than all my old complaints, criticisms, and demands combined!<\/p>\n<p>As I caught him doing something good and let him know how much it meant to me, my man\u2019s hero gene was reignited and now he was looking for more ways to please me. And giving me even more things to express gratitude for!<\/p>\n<p>Sure enough, I had plenty to say after all.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Love_Thyself_as_Thy_Best_Self\"><\/span>5) Love Thyself as Thy Best Self<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14096\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/being-pleasable.jpg\" alt=\"being pleasable\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/being-pleasable.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/being-pleasable-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/being-pleasable-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/being-pleasable-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/being-pleasable-325x137.jpg 325w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/being-pleasable-1024x431.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>When Yanira started noticing the <a href=\"https:\/\/liveboldandbloom.com\/09\/relationships\/signs-husband-hates-you\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">signs your husband hates you<\/a>, she could have easily succumbed to self-loathing.<\/p>\n<p>To think of all she had done to be a good wife, only to be faced with divorce. That would be demoralizing for anyone.<\/p>\n<p>To get out of the NET (Needless Emotional Turmoil) she was ensnared in, she turned to self-care instead. She got serious about lounging and reading, doing yoga and breathwork, and taking cold showers (this is her list of what made her happy). She took a speed reading course she\u2019d always wanted to do, went to a pottery class, and even tried to find a glass blowing class.<\/p>\n<p>She also did something that she had never done before but was calling to her: soap making. She YouTubed and ordered supplies by day then, \u201cin those lonely nights,\u201d she says, \u201cI made amazing creative soaps.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Somehow, the NET subsided. Even with all the emotion she\u2019d been going through, she didn\u2019t have to be exhausted and overwhelmed anymore because she was taking such good care of herself.<\/p>\n<p>And her magnetism increased. Seeing his wife pleasable made her husband want to pile on even more to make her happy. And be around her more and more (without mentioning the D word again).<\/p>\n<p>What fills you up and makes you happy?<\/p>\n<p>Imagine ditching the teary guilt trip and showing up as the lighthearted, fun woman who attracted him in the first place. Talk about changing the dance. I bet that woman was pretty irresistible.<\/p>\n<p>Now that you know the five ways to get him to love you again, which will you experiment with first?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re going through a separation, infidelity, or the threat of divorce, your world feels like it\u2019s falling apart. There\u2019s nothing more painful than finding out there\u2019s another woman or hearing the D word. It\u2019s a shock that is both heart-wrenching and gut-wrenching. How can you make your husband miss you badly? How do you\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-to-love-you-again\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14091,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[709],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-14089","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-and-separation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Get Your Husband to Love You Again<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you going through a separation, infidelity, or the threat of divorce? 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