{"id":14600,"date":"2022-09-01T05:00:25","date_gmt":"2022-09-01T12:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=14600"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:33:55","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:33:55","slug":"how-to-rebuild-your-marriage-during-a-separation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-rebuild-your-marriage-during-a-separation\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Rebuild Your Marriage during a Separation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If your husband is moving out but you want to save the marriage, it can be terrifying.<\/p>\n<p>Separation affects everything. Your whole life is being turned upside down without your consent, leaving you feeling powerless and heartbroken.<\/p>\n<p>If you still love your husband but are separated, it\u2019s devastating. This is not what you signed up for when you said \u201cI do\u201d!<\/p>\n<p>So how do you save your marriage while separated?<\/p>\n<p>Especially when simply <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/guides\/smarterliving\/be-a-better-listener\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">communicating<\/a> with your spouse during separation can be a big challenge. How are you supposed to save a relationship with someone you barely see or talk to, if at all?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s easy to feel hopeless.<\/p>\n<p>But there is hope.<\/p>\n<p>Ask a woman on our campus, like Jen, who had no contact with her husband for six weeks. She practiced some new skills and, as if by magic, something shifted. Her husband showed up at her door with roses begging her to come home. After hours of hugs and tears, he moved back in.<\/p>\n<p>In working with thousands of women, my coaches and I have seen this story again and again.<\/p>\n<p>Do you want to be next?<\/p>\n<p>If so, here are 3 counterintuitive ways to make your husband miss you during separation and <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-husband-back\/\">attract him back<\/a>.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-rebuild-your-marriage-during-a-separation\/#1_Dont_Stand_in_His_Way\" title=\"Don\u2019t Stand in His Way\">Don\u2019t Stand in His Way<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-rebuild-your-marriage-during-a-separation\/#2_Become_a_Gracious_Receiver\" title=\"Become a Gracious Receiver\">Become a Gracious Receiver<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-rebuild-your-marriage-during-a-separation\/#3_Let_Go_of_Expectations\" title=\"Let Go of Expectations\">Let Go of Expectations<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Dont_Stand_in_His_Way\"><\/span>1. Don\u2019t Stand in His Way<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-14601 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/frustration-in-marriage.jpeg\" alt=\"Frustration in Marriage\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/frustration-in-marriage.jpeg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/frustration-in-marriage-150x63.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/frustration-in-marriage-480x202.jpeg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/frustration-in-marriage-768x323.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/frustration-in-marriage-1200x505.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Lila and her husband were already separated under the same roof, and he wanted a divorce. Yesterday. He got more and more frustrated by how long the process was taking and accused her of dragging her feet and getting in his way.<\/p>\n<p>Be that as it may\u2013she wasn\u2019t going to pave his way!<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-3121476506\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Every time he brought it up, Lila objected, \u201cI don\u2019t want a divorce. <a href=\"https:\/\/time.com\/5434949\/divorce-rate-children-marriage-benefits\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I want to stay married<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As beautiful and pure as her desire was, she realized that repeating this particular desire was coming across as disrespecting his thinking. She knew that respect was like oxygen for men, and she really wanted to give her husband the oxygen he needed.<\/p>\n<p>So Lila decided to try a different approach: not paving his way but not standing in his way either.<\/p>\n<p>So when he suggested she switch to the divorce attorney that his divorce attorney worked well with, well, that sounded like crazy talk, but she saw it as an opportunity to show respect for his thinking. Despite the glaring conflict of interest, she agreed.<\/p>\n<p>To her surprise, he got irritated with the new attorney instead of with her.<\/p>\n<p>Not only did his frustration with her subside, he started serving her drinks and food, a big change from the usual of her serving him.<\/p>\n<p>She didn\u2019t know it yet, but the long-term change would be even better\u2026<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2354266503\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Become_a_Gracious_Receiver\"><\/span>2. Become a Gracious Receiver<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14602\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/saying-thank-you-to-husband.jpeg\" alt=\"Saying Thank you to your Husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/saying-thank-you-to-husband.jpeg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/saying-thank-you-to-husband-150x63.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/saying-thank-you-to-husband-480x202.jpeg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/saying-thank-you-to-husband-768x323.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/saying-thank-you-to-husband-1200x505.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, Lila\u2019s story got worse before it got better. Her husband started building a new house so he could move out.<\/p>\n<p>Strangely enough, he\u2019d invite her to his new house throughout construction. Talk about painful! Was he trying to torture her or what?<\/p>\n<p>She saw it a different way: as an opportunity to receive. Mind you, this is not what she wanted to receive. But Lila\u2019s relationship coach didn\u2019t seem fazed by his claims that this would be his house and his alone. Lila chose to lean on her coach\u2019s faith that this was her new home.<\/p>\n<p>That helped her not only receive these invitations graciously but to show up with fun and light instead of sighs and tears. Every interaction could be a date, including their visits to the new house, and Lila dressed the part.<\/p>\n<p>She must have surprised the heck out of him.<\/p>\n<p>Sure enough, he invited her and their son to move to their new home.<\/p>\n<p>Receiving graciously is simple because all it requires is saying \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/medium.com\/afwp\/the-power-of-thank-you-d7fb4e702c9f\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">thank you<\/a>.\u201d But it\u2019s not always easy. Especially if what he\u2019s offering isn\u2019t quite what you want, when you want it or how you would do it.<\/p>\n<p>Receiving didn\u2019t come easily for me, that\u2019s for sure. When John would do the dishes, I\u2019d say, \u201cNow how about wiping the counters?\u201d I cringe to remember how hard it was for me to receive graciously.<\/p>\n<p>How could you stretch your receiving muscles, whether with your husband or someone else? Next time a friend offers to pay for your coffee or help you clean up, gives you a compliment or an apology, what if you simply said \u201cthank you\u201d?<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Let_Go_of_Expectations\"><\/span>3. Let Go of Expectations<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14603\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/control-marriage.jpeg\" alt=\"Control In Marriage\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/control-marriage.jpeg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/control-marriage-150x63.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/control-marriage-480x202.jpeg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/control-marriage-768x323.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/control-marriage-1200x505.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Relationships that recover from a breakdown can become even stronger than before.<\/p>\n<p>Just ask Corrine.<\/p>\n<p>She suspected that the stories in <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcasts\/\">The Empowered Wife podcast<\/a> must have been exaggerated, or at least they promised things that might work for other people but not for her.<\/p>\n<p>But she had just enough hope and commitment to invest in <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/marriage-relationship-coaching\/\">private coaching<\/a>. When her coach invited her to something scary Corinne stretched to try it as an experiment. In the process, she transformed from critical and controlling into a gentle, soft woman who dove into self-care and sprinkled gratitude around like confetti.<\/p>\n<p>When her coaching sessions concluded, although her husband remained cold and distant, Corinne loved the new woman she had become so much that she decided to continue practicing these Skills, even if the marriage didn\u2019t survive.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, she had <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/attracting-him-back-when-he-wanted-out\/\">no expectations<\/a>. She even accepted the idea that she could end up happily single.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when, out of nowhere, she got her miracle.<\/p>\n<p>Her husband told her he loved who she had become. He said he wanted to stay married and be closer than ever. He even planned her dream trip to Europe.<\/p>\n<p>Corrine could barely believe it.<\/p>\n<p>Are you ready to be shocked too?<\/p>\n<p>If you decide to put these 3 proven techniques for attracting him back into action, you may surprise him&#8211;and yourself&#8211;in the best possible way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If your husband is moving out but you want to save the marriage, it can be terrifying. Separation affects everything. Your whole life is being turned upside down without your consent, leaving you feeling powerless and heartbroken. If you still love your husband but are separated, it\u2019s devastating. This is not what you signed up\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-rebuild-your-marriage-during-a-separation\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14604,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[709],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-14600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-and-separation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Rebuild Your Marriage during a Separation [3 things to do]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If your husband is moving out against your will, it can be terrifying. 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