{"id":15066,"date":"2022-12-22T05:00:55","date_gmt":"2022-12-22T13:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=15066"},"modified":"2024-01-05T20:02:32","modified_gmt":"2024-01-06T04:02:32","slug":"how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Tell Your Husband He Hurt Your Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When your husband is harsh, thoughtless or downright mean, of course you want him to stop. If you\u2019re anything like I was, you want him to feel embarrassed or ashamed so he won\u2019t do that again! <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And since <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-doesnt-love-me\/\">he promised to love you<\/a> in front of God and everybody, it stands to reason that letting him know how much he hurt you should be very persuasive in getting him to be gentler, kinder and more thoughtful.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But if you\u2019ve ever had the experience of your husband looking through you or <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-doesnt-listen-to-me\/\">not even listening<\/a> when you\u2019re telling him how hurt you are or just telling you to stop being upset, it\u2019s so frustrating! You can end up feeling even more hurt than you were to begin with.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/#1_What_I_Think_I_Want_When_Im_Hurt\" title=\"What I Think I Want When I\u2019m Hurt\">What I Think I Want When I\u2019m Hurt<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/#2_What_I_Really_Want_when_Im_Hurt\" title=\"What I Really Want when I\u2019m Hurt\">What I Really Want when I\u2019m Hurt<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/#3_How_to_Get_Your_Husband_to_Be_Your_Protector\" title=\"How to Get Your Husband to Be Your Protector\">How to Get Your Husband to Be Your Protector<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/#4_The_Best_Four-Letter_Word_to_Use_when_Youre_Hurt\" title=\"The Best Four-Letter Word to Use when You\u2019re Hurt\">The Best Four-Letter Word to Use when You\u2019re Hurt<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/#5_How_to_RSVP_Not_Attending_when_Youre_Invited_to_an_Argument\" title=\"How to RSVP \u201cNot Attending\u201d when You\u2019re Invited to an Argument\">How to RSVP \u201cNot Attending\u201d when You\u2019re Invited to an Argument<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/#6_Remind_Your_Husband_to_Be_His_Best_Self\" title=\"Remind Your Husband to Be His Best Self\">Remind Your Husband to Be His Best Self<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/#7_What_if_It_Wasnt_Just_His_Words_that_Hurt_You\" title=\"What if It Wasn\u2019t Just His Words that Hurt You?\">What if It Wasn\u2019t Just His Words that Hurt You?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_What_I_Think_I_Want_When_Im_Hurt\"><\/span>1. What I Think I Want When I\u2019m Hurt<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15069 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-make-husband-apologize.jpg\" alt=\"How to make your husband apologize.\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-make-husband-apologize.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-make-husband-apologize-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-make-husband-apologize-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-make-husband-apologize-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-make-husband-apologize-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I\u2019m hurt, sometimes it shows up as anger, which feels safer than hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And when <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-am-i-so-angry-with-my-husband\/\">I\u2019m angry<\/a> at someone, I want them to suffer. I\u2019m not proud of that, but as a mere mortal woman, I notice an enormous temptation to punish the person who hurt me. The illusion is that I\u2019m justified and will feel better when they\u2019re paying the consequences then they\u2019ll then see that they need to apologize to me, which feels entirely necessary for the world to be put right again.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But in reality, I can\u2019t make anyone else suffer, much less apologize. I\u2019ve tried many times and it just didn\u2019t work!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And since them suffering, paying consequences and apologizing to me are not even on my paper, the whole idea that I need those things is a counterfeit.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2878560939\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_What_I_Really_Want_when_Im_Hurt\"><\/span>2. What I Really Want when I\u2019m Hurt<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15071 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-deal-with-being-hurt.jpg\" alt=\"How to deal with being hurt\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-deal-with-being-hurt.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-deal-with-being-hurt-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-deal-with-being-hurt-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-deal-with-being-hurt-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-deal-with-being-hurt-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On my paper, when I\u2019ve just been hurt, I like to acknowledge that to myself and to anyone who\u2019s listening. So when I\u2019m on my game, I show up for myself the way a mother tends to a child with a skinned knee.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And strangely enough, just acknowledging my hurt to myself and whoever\u2019s listening goes a long way toward dissolving the illusion that someone else has to suffer or take the blame so I can feel better. I already feel better just staying with myself in a hurtful moment instead of rushing into battle with the perceived enemy and abandoning myself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what about <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-fix-my-husband\/\">teaching someone else how to treat you<\/a>?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_How_to_Get_Your_Husband_to_Be_Your_Protector\"><\/span>3. How to Get Your Husband to Be Your Protector<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15072 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/my-husband-is-my-protector.jpg\" alt=\"My husband is my protector\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/my-husband-is-my-protector.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/my-husband-is-my-protector-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/my-husband-is-my-protector-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/my-husband-is-my-protector-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/my-husband-is-my-protector-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re wondering what words to use to get your man to understand how hurt you are so he\u2019ll become your protector instead of your antagonizer, here\u2019s a secret that\u2019s very effective.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The definition of a secret is that most people don\u2019t know it. And most people definitely don\u2019t know what I\u2019m about to share with you about how to tell someone they hurt you and get the kind of response you really want.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By far the most effective way to say it and even <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-never-apologizes\/\">inspire him to apologize<\/a> to you for what he just said is to use a four-letter word.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Wait, not THAT kind of four-letter word! Of course it can be very tempting to curse when you\u2019re hurt, to cover it with anger, to race to blame someone else. But no, the word I\u2019m thinking of is not only very effective, it\u2019s also appropriate in polite company, even if it doesn\u2019t feel easy to say.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-156091281\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_The_Best_Four-Letter_Word_to_Use_when_Youre_Hurt\"><\/span>4. The Best Four-Letter Word to Use when You\u2019re Hurt<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15073 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/what-to-say-when-your-hurt.jpg\" alt=\"What to day when your hurt\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/what-to-say-when-your-hurt.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/what-to-say-when-your-hurt-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/what-to-say-when-your-hurt-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/what-to-say-when-your-hurt-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/what-to-say-when-your-hurt-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The word to use when you\u2019re hurt is \u201cOuch!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was once talking to a friend who accused me of being greedy, so I said, \u201cOuch!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He responded, \u201cWhy are you calling me a jerk?\u201d which caught me by surprise.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I said, \u201cI didn\u2019t. I just said, \u2018Ouch!\u2019\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And he said, \u201cI don\u2019t see anyone else around here, so you\u2019re saying I hurt you.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And I was able to say, \u201cI just said \u2018Ouch!\u2019\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I felt so clean in that interaction because I stayed on my paper and didn\u2019t blame him for what I was experiencing. So it was a nice bonus when he pretty quickly apologized to me for calling me greedy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_How_to_RSVP_Not_Attending_when_Youre_Invited_to_an_Argument\"><\/span>5. How to RSVP \u201cNot Attending\u201d when You\u2019re Invited to an Argument<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15076\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-avoid-an-argument-with-husband.jpg\" alt=\"How to avoid an argument with your husband\" width=\"1280\" height=\"853\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-avoid-an-argument-with-husband.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-avoid-an-argument-with-husband-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-avoid-an-argument-with-husband-480x320.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-avoid-an-argument-with-husband-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/how-to-avoid-an-argument-with-husband-1200x800.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So let\u2019s say your husband asks why the house is still a mess even though you were home all day. Instead of defending yourself by listing everything you\u2019ve done or asking him when the last time he lifted a finger to help you was, you could just say \u201cOuch!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s also a great way to RSVP \u201cNot attending\u201d to that <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-and-i-fight-all-the-time\/\">argument<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But what if the fight is already off to a roaring start and he calls YOU a four-letter word that\u2019s NOT so appropriate in polite company?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You could also call him horrible names, but the best, most dignified comeback I know of is \u201cOuch!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There\u2019s just one big problem. Saying \u201cOuch!\u201d can make you feel really, really awkward. So awkward that you\u2019d rather defend yourself or tell him what a jerk he\u2019s being. That\u2019s because saying \u201cOuch!\u201d is vulnerable. Now you\u2019re completely undefended in front of the enemy, also known as the man you married.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Remind_Your_Husband_to_Be_His_Best_Self\"><\/span>6. Remind Your Husband to Be His Best Self<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15074\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/being-vulnerable-in-relationship.jpg\" alt=\"Being vulnerable in a relationship\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/being-vulnerable-in-relationship.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/being-vulnerable-in-relationship-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/being-vulnerable-in-relationship-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/being-vulnerable-in-relationship-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/being-vulnerable-in-relationship-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being that vulnerable takes courage, but it also has magical powers because when you say \u201cOuch!\u201d to your husband, you\u2019re invoking a sacred trust. You\u2019re actually demonstrating that you trust him to be tender with you even though he\u2019s just been rough with you. It\u2019s like you\u2019re speaking into him that you know him to be thoughtful. You know him to be gentle. It\u2019s like saying \u201cRemember who you are!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You might be thinking, \u201cBut thoughtful and gentle are NOT who my husband is. Therefore, \u2018Ouch!\u2019 is not going to work for me.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But I\u2019ve noticed that my <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5351796\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">expectations of my husband<\/a> have a big influence on my experience with him.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My husband doesn\u2019t want to let me down by proving me wrong when I\u2019m expecting the best from him. Putting down my sword and showing my vulnerability by saying \u201cOuch!\u201d show in a powerful way that I expect the best.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It reminds me of wedding vows I heard about where the couple promised, not that they\u2019d never hurt each other, but that they\u2019d never <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">intentionally<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> hurt each other.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That doesn\u2019t mean \u201cOuch!\u201d is my go-to phrase in every hurtful situation. It\u2019s a great response when you\u2019re hearing hurtful words, but what about a situation where you&#8217;re hurt about something he\u2019s NOT doing? <\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_What_if_It_Wasnt_Just_His_Words_that_Hurt_You\"><\/span>7. What if It Wasn\u2019t Just His Words that Hurt You?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15075\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/advantages-of-being-vulnerable.jpg\" alt=\"Advantages of being Vulnerable\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/advantages-of-being-vulnerable.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/advantages-of-being-vulnerable-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/advantages-of-being-vulnerable-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/advantages-of-being-vulnerable-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/advantages-of-being-vulnerable-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Like, let\u2019s say he completely <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-forgot-anniversary\/\">forgets your anniversary<\/a> or birthday and you don\u2019t get to feel special. Or he doesn\u2019t come home from work when he said he would and you\u2019re overwhelmed putting the kids to bed by yourself. Or he isn\u2019t being faithful like he promised he would when you got married and you\u2019re left brokenhearted.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do you let him know that he has hurt you in those painful situations that don\u2019t boil down to a single moment in a conversation? What if there\u2019s nowhere to insert an \u201cOuch!\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may be tempted just to tell him straight out, \u201cYou hurt me!\u201d And that\u2019s always an option, to try to make him <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">be<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> accountable by blaming him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But if what you want when you\u2019re feeling injured is tender love and care, one powerful way to have that, in my experience, is to start by giving it to yourself. And I don\u2019t mean just sucking up the miserable treatment, getting over it and resigning yourself to having more of the same in the future. No. I mean really being there for yourself, figuring out how to soothe and comfort yourself, no matter the circumstances.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I still get hurt, and I still say \u201cOuch!\u201d if it happens during a conversation. But I\u2019ve gotten to where I\u2019m no longer interested in telling anyone they\u2019ve hurt me. That\u2019s because staying on my own paper when I\u2019m hurt and giving myself comfort and grace instead of rushing to confront or blame has given me greater confidence and assurance than those imaginary apologies ever could.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Taking the <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/being-vulnerable-in-a-relationship\/\">vulnerable<\/a> approach of saying \u201cOuch!\u201d when I\u2019m hurt has given me more inner strength.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you decide to experiment with this secret to having your husband become your protector, you might just surprise him\u2014and yourself\u2014in the best possible way.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When your husband is harsh, thoughtless or downright mean, of course you want him to stop. If you\u2019re anything like I was, you want him to feel embarrassed or ashamed so he won\u2019t do that again! And since he promised to love you in front of God and everybody, it stands to reason that letting\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15068,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[708],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-15066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Tell Your Husband He Hurt Your Feelings [7 Powerful Tips]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you\u2019ve ever had the experience of your husband looking through you or not even 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