{"id":15255,"date":"2023-03-15T20:00:24","date_gmt":"2023-03-16T03:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=15255"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:33:51","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:33:51","slug":"what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/","title":{"rendered":"What Makes a Marriage Last Forever?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When you first say the words \u201cI do,\u201d the idea that your marriage will last forever feels like a given.<\/p>\n<p>Of course it will! That\u2019s why you\u2019re committing for life in front of God and everybody!<\/p>\n<p>You met the right person and he miraculously felt all melty with you just like you did with him.<\/p>\n<p>Your marriage will definitely last forever and ever. The end.<\/p>\n<p>I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right?<\/p>\n<p>Then life kicks in and there\u2019s a misunderstanding and you notice he has a strange way of doing things, or <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-tell-someone-they-hurt-you\/\">he hurts your feelings<\/a> or gets very angry.<\/p>\n<p>Oooh! Maybe he has an anger problem and you notice that the \u201cforever\u201d part seems longer than it did during that \u201cI do\u201d session.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when the you who was looking forward to a lifetime together with your greatest love would like to know how to get back to having that kind of faith. Or was it just ignorance and immaturity?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a big accomplishment to stay married forever, and some marriages do last a lifetime. If it\u2019s possible for some people, then it stands to reason it\u2019s possible for you too.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I used to think it was just luck, but now I know from my own experience that there are powerful habits that contribute to marriage longevity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Not that I\u2019ve been married forever yet! It\u2019s something I\u2019m definitely aiming for and feeling optimistic about.<\/p>\n<p>Here are three habits that will give you an unfair advantage for making your marriage last a lifetime.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/#1_Use_Your_Power_for_Good\" title=\"Use Your Power for Good\">Use Your Power for Good<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/#2_Try_the_High_School_Lesson_that_Changed_My_Life\" title=\"Try the High School Lesson that Changed My Life\">Try the High School Lesson that Changed My Life<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/#3_Beware_of_This_Enemy_of_Forever_Marriages\" title=\"Beware of This Enemy of Forever Marriages\">Beware of This Enemy of Forever Marriages<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Use_Your_Power_for_Good\"><\/span>1. Use Your Power for Good<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15278\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/grateful-for-my-husband.jpg\" alt=\"Grateful for Your Husband\" width=\"800\" height=\"337\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/grateful-for-my-husband.jpg 800w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/grateful-for-my-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/grateful-for-my-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/grateful-for-my-husband-768x324.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>As a wife you have tons of power and influence over your husband.<\/p>\n<p>You can influence the way he sees himself, like whether he thinks he\u2019s capable and competent or whether he thinks he\u2019ll probably mess everything up.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-346235081\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>You have power to make him feel successful as a father and husband or to make him feel he\u2019ll never measure up.<\/p>\n<p>You might feel like that\u2019s not in your power because your husband simply is or isn\u2019t capable, is or isn\u2019t competent or a good husband and father. You might feel you\u2019re just <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/family\/archive\/2022\/06\/how-to-change-past-perception-positive-memories\/661240\/\">reflecting back<\/a> what you see truthfully.<\/p>\n<p>But what you see depends on which perspectacles you wear.<\/p>\n<p>If you wear your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.yahoo.com\/lifestyle\/people-practice-3-daily-habits-163004487.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">grateful<\/a> glasses, you\u2019re likely to see a lot of things he is doing right.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe like me, you\u2019ve taken some of those things for granted, since that\u2019s just human nature.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe the things he\u2019s doing wrong seem much bigger.<\/p>\n<p>Or maybe you think, like I used to, that you shouldn\u2019t have to compliment him for doing his job, like fixing the garbage disposal or picking up salad at the store or fixing the Wi-Fi.<\/p>\n<p>But how would your life be different if he didn\u2019t do those things?<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-1601071075\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Try_the_High_School_Lesson_that_Changed_My_Life\"><\/span>2. Try the High School Lesson that Changed My Life<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15279\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/focus-on-gratitude.jpg\" alt=\"Focus on Gratitude\" width=\"800\" height=\"337\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/focus-on-gratitude.jpg 800w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/focus-on-gratitude-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/focus-on-gratitude-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/focus-on-gratitude-768x324.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>My high school English teacher and mentor, Mrs. Carpenter, showed our 11th grade English class how to write letters describing the exceptionally good products and services\u2014or exceptionally bad products or services\u2014we encountered at local businesses.<\/p>\n<p>An important part of the lesson was to put TWICE as much gratitude into the world as complaints by writing twice as many letters of appreciation.<\/p>\n<p>We were amazed to see the lavish responses we got from businesses we acknowledged with gratitude.<\/p>\n<p>We scored free comic books and movie tickets, a side of french fries and a medium Coke, and more.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.health.harvard.edu\/healthbeat\/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Expressing our gratitude<\/a> was like magic! We saw for ourselves that we got a better response from appreciation than we ever did by complaining.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks to that lesson from Mrs. Carpenter, there\u2019s a structure inside our private group that every post starts with two wins, or two things you\u2019re grateful for.<\/p>\n<p>An important part of the training is to put TWICE as much gratitude into the world as complaints. As you can imagine, the members of our program are amazed to see the magic that habit creates.<\/p>\n<p>So thank you, Mrs. C. You changed my life and I\u2019m forever grateful!<\/p>\n<p>But focusing on what you\u2019re grateful for does more than get you free frozen yogurt. It\u2019s also an antidote to a common enemy of lasting marriages.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Beware_of_This_Enemy_of_Forever_Marriages\"><\/span>3. Beware of This Enemy of Forever Marriages<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15280\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/gratitude-list-in-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Gratitude List for Marriage\" width=\"800\" height=\"337\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/gratitude-list-in-marriage.jpg 800w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/gratitude-list-in-marriage-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/gratitude-list-in-marriage-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/gratitude-list-in-marriage-768x324.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The threat I\u2019m talking about is <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-fix-a-toxic-relationship\/\">resentment<\/a>. It\u2019s as common as it is poisonous for lasting marriage.<\/p>\n<p>But since you can\u2019t feel both grateful AND resentful at the same time, there\u2019s a simple, effective cure for it.<\/p>\n<p>That cure is to make a list of at least 20 things that you\u2019re grateful for about your husband.<\/p>\n<p>It might seem very hard to do. It might seem impossible to do! Or it might just seem ridiculous and awkward because there are so many things about him you\u2019re NOT grateful for.<\/p>\n<p>I get that. I\u2019ve been there. It wasn\u2019t easy for me to decide to be grateful to my husband, who wasn\u2019t just a local Mexican restaurant with a sticky booth and slow service.<\/p>\n<p>But when I did finally choose my gratitude, I was amazed to see the magic that choice created. And now I have so much to be grateful for!<\/p>\n<p>Including feeling proud and secure that my once hopeless-seeming marriage will last. Forever.<\/p>\n<p>And if I can have that, then why not you too? It all starts with deciding to put on your grateful perspectacles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you first say the words \u201cI do,\u201d the idea that your marriage will last forever feels like a given. Of course it will! That\u2019s why you\u2019re committing for life in front of God and everybody! You met the right person and he miraculously felt all melty with you just like you did with him.\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15277,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-15255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Makes a Marriage Last Forever [3 powerful habits]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here are three powerful habits that will give you an unfair advantage for making your marriage last a lifetime.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Makes a Marriage Last Forever [3 powerful habits]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here are three powerful habits that will give you an unfair advantage for making your marriage last a lifetime.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-03-16T03:00:24+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:33:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"What Makes a Marriage Last Forever?\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-03-16T03:00:24+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:33:51+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/\"},\"wordCount\":925,\"commentCount\":8,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/what-makes-a-marriage-last-forever.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Love &amp; 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