{"id":15558,"date":"2023-07-17T02:00:10","date_gmt":"2023-07-17T09:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=15558"},"modified":"2023-07-17T02:00:04","modified_gmt":"2023-07-17T09:00:04","slug":"can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/","title":{"rendered":"Can a Relationship Be Saved after Domestic Violence?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Physical abuse in your own home is one of the scariest things you can experience. If you\u2019re not safe with your own husband, then when are you ever safe?<\/p>\n<p>Everyone who knows you and loves you may get scared too and say you have to get out of that relationship so you&#8217;ll be safe. They\u2019ll want to protect you. So then it seems pretty hopeless and maybe even foolish to try to fix a marriage after there\u2019s been hitting, kicking, shaking or choking.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what I used to think too. But I got schooled!<\/p>\n<p>I got schooled in the best possible way by women who have lived through domestic violence and still fixed their relationships.<\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15563 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/domestic-violence-injury-testimonials.jpg\" alt=\"Domestic Violence Injury Testimonials\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/domestic-violence-injury-testimonials.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/domestic-violence-injury-testimonials-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/domestic-violence-injury-testimonials-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/domestic-violence-injury-testimonials-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/domestic-violence-injury-testimonials-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I found out that I too was scared of domestic violence. So scared that I couldn\u2019t find my faith and I became bossy and told women they should leave if they were in that scary situation.<\/p>\n<p>I became Mrs. Know-It-All, who didn\u2019t actually know that when there\u2019s violence in the home that doesn\u2019t mean the relationship can\u2019t be fixed.<\/p>\n<p>I learned from women who are braver than me. Women who had restraining orders against their husbands and decided to remove them.<\/p>\n<p>I heard from women who had to go to the hospital for their injuries after fighting with their husbands.<\/p>\n<p>These women were scared too, but something made them decide to try <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Six Intimacy Skills\u2122<\/a> instead of giving up on their marriages. As the experts on their own lives, they decided to experiment.<\/p>\n<p>They didn\u2019t want to be victims, and they didn\u2019t want to be divorced, so they found a way to fix their marriages and make them safe.<\/p>\n<p>They even became coaches who now show other women how to fix their marriages after domestic violence.<\/p>\n<p>Here are three of the common themes I hear from these incredibly accomplished women:<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/#1_They_Chose_Their_Focus_Wisely\" title=\"They Chose Their Focus Wisely\">They Chose Their Focus Wisely<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/#2_They_Were_Careful_about_Who_They_Listened_To\" title=\"They Were Careful about Who They Listened To\">They Were Careful about Who They Listened To<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/#3_They_Were_Willing_to_Try_Some_Experiments\" title=\"They Were Willing to Try Some Experiments\">They Were Willing to Try Some Experiments<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_They_Chose_Their_Focus_Wisely\"><\/span>1. They Chose Their Focus Wisely<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15566 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/afraid-of-husband.jpg\" alt=\"Afraid of Husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/afraid-of-husband.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/afraid-of-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/afraid-of-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/afraid-of-husband-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/afraid-of-husband-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Even after they had evidence that their husbands were a threat, the women who fixed their marriages after domestic violence <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/laws-of-attraction-in-relationships\/\">gathered evidence<\/a> about what a good man they had, about how he wanted to be her hero and protect her.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-1436153801\"><p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<!--HubSpot Call-to-Action Code --><span class=\"hs-cta-wrapper\" id=\"hs-cta-wrapper-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\"><span class=\"hs-cta-node hs-cta-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\" id=\"hs-cta-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\"><!--[if lte IE 8]>\n\n<div id=\"hs-cta-ie-element\"><\/div>\n\n<![endif]--><a href=\"https:\/\/cta-redirect.hubspot.com\/cta\/redirect\/21708589\/72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\" ><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"hs-cta-img\" id=\"hs-cta-img-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\" style=\"border-width:0px;\" src=\"https:\/\/no-cache.hubspot.com\/cta\/default\/21708589\/72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969.png\"  alt=\"Free Webinar\"\/><\/a><\/span><script charset=\"utf-8\" src=\"https:\/\/js.hscta.net\/cta\/current.js\"><\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> hbspt.cta.load(21708589, '72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969', {\"useNewLoader\":\"true\",\"region\":\"na1\"}); <\/script><\/span><!-- end HubSpot Call-to-Action Code -->\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Just like looking at a glass of water and declaring it either half empty or half full. Both are true, right?<\/p>\n<p>These brave women decided to see their husbands through the lens of faith instead of fear. That takes some courage right there! But they did it.<\/p>\n<p>And I admire them for that.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-1191820637\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_They_Were_Careful_about_Who_They_Listened_To\"><\/span>2. They Were Careful about Who They Listened To<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15567 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/be-careful-who-you-take-advice-from.jpg\" alt=\"Be careful who you take advice from\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/be-careful-who-you-take-advice-from.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/be-careful-who-you-take-advice-from-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/be-careful-who-you-take-advice-from-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/be-careful-who-you-take-advice-from-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/be-careful-who-you-take-advice-from-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Fear is easy to stir up, and when you go through something traumatic like domestic violence, it is a big deal. Other people might feed on that drama and get bossy, like I did, and tell you to leave.<\/p>\n<p>But the women who were able to fix their marriages and make them amazing again were careful about whose voice they had in their ears. We all choose who we\u2019re going to listen to, all the time.<\/p>\n<p>These women chose <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/the-best-marriage-support-group\/\">people who were standing for them<\/a> when they shared about their marriages, and they tuned out or didn\u2019t share with people who were scaring them or telling them to leave.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_They_Were_Willing_to_Try_Some_Experiments\"><\/span>3. They Were Willing to Try Some Experiments<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-15568 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/put-your-family-back-together.jpg\" alt=\"Put your family back together\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/put-your-family-back-together.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/put-your-family-back-together-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/put-your-family-back-together-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/put-your-family-back-together-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/put-your-family-back-together-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Women who put their families back together again, who made them safe and peaceful, did not know what was possible when they started.<\/p>\n<p>But they were willing to experiment.<\/p>\n<p>They were willing to do things they\u2019d never done before, even if they felt awkward or scared, so that they could create the marriage they never had before. They were willing to say unusual and new things, to do new things and to throw out everything they thought they knew.<\/p>\n<p>They were open.<\/p>\n<p>And they found a new way forward because of it.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m honored to have <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/169-can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/\">podcast guests<\/a> who have answered the question \u201cCan a relationship be saved after domestic violence?\u201d with a definitive \u201cYes, it can.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That includes Queenie, who was so tired of her husband constantly interrupting, correcting, and criticizing her. Then a huge fight erupted, turned physical, and she took the baby and left.<\/p>\n<p>But she decided to do some experiments, and today they are back together. She says her marriage is unbelievably amazing and it still has room to grow.<\/p>\n<p>Listen to her experience in her own words <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/169-can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Physical abuse in your own home is one of the scariest things you can experience. If you\u2019re not safe with your own husband, then when are you ever safe? Everyone who knows you and loves you may get scared too and say you have to get out of that relationship so you&#8217;ll be safe. They\u2019ll\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15565,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[707],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-15558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Can a Relationship Be Saved after Domestic Violence?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-a-relationship-be-saved-after-domestic-violence\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Can a Relationship Be Saved after Domestic Violence?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Physical abuse in your own home is one of the scariest things you can experience. If you\u2019re not safe with your own husband, then when are you ever safe? Everyone who knows you and loves you may get scared too and say you have to get out of that relationship so you&#8217;ll be safe. 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