{"id":15832,"date":"2023-11-14T02:00:30","date_gmt":"2023-11-14T10:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=15832"},"modified":"2024-12-11T14:50:23","modified_gmt":"2024-12-11T22:50:23","slug":"how-to-be-a-good-wife","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be a Good Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was the perfect wife. Right up until I actually got married. That\u2019s when it all went kablooey.<\/p>\n<p>But I thought that I was a good wife because I:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Did so many things to help my husband<\/li>\n<li>Worked so hard<\/li>\n<li>Was sooooo smart I handled all the money for our family<\/li>\n<li>Was great at economizing<\/li>\n<li>Cooked for him<\/li>\n<li>Was strong and tough<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So I gave myself at least a nine out of ten. But I wasn\u2019t scoring so high on the wife scale with my husband John.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s because I was actually an overbearing, prickly porcupine wife who thought she knew better than him about everything.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/#1_What_Actually_Attracted_Him\" title=\"What Actually Attracted Him\">What Actually Attracted Him<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/#2_The_1_Skill_that_Makes_Me_a_Good_Wife_Today\" title=\"The #1 Skill that Makes Me a Good Wife Today\">The #1 Skill that Makes Me a Good Wife Today<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_What_Actually_Attracted_Him\"><\/span>1. What Actually Attracted Him<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15840\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/being-postive-to-husband.jpg\" alt=\"Being positive to my husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/being-postive-to-husband.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/being-postive-to-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/being-postive-to-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/being-postive-to-husband-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/being-postive-to-husband-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s funny is, John didn\u2019t decide to spend the rest of his life with me because I worked so hard and was great at economizing.<\/p>\n<p>That wasn\u2019t what made him think I\u2019d be a good wife he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/012-how-to-be-feminine-and-be-10x-more-attractive\/\">What attracted him<\/a> was actually that I have a great laugh, and he loved saying goofy, funny things so he could hear it.<\/p>\n<p>He loved me because I was so enthusiastic when he asked me out and so nervous when he kissed me.<\/p>\n<p>He loved me because I loved hearing him play guitar and sing the songs he\u2019d written.<\/p>\n<p>He loved me because I was so accepting of him and the things he was nervous about. And that I cooked for him.<\/p>\n<p>So my criteria of what made me good wife material and his criteria were not the same. At all.<\/p>\n<p>My behavior and my attitude changed so much in a few short years that I stopped being a soft place for him to land and became an efficient, critical economist.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t see it that way, of course. I thought <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-live-with-an-emotionally-distant-husband\/\">he had just become distant<\/a> and uncooperative FOR NO REASON!<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-3617690683\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-202998380\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_The_1_Skill_that_Makes_Me_a_Good_Wife_Today\"><\/span>2. The #1 Skill that Makes Me a Good Wife Today<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15841\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/receptivity-in-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Receptive in marriage\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/receptivity-in-marriage.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/receptivity-in-marriage-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/receptivity-in-marriage-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/receptivity-in-marriage-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/receptivity-in-marriage-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>But when I learned <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">the 6 Intimacy Skills\u2122<\/a> and started practicing them with the Connection Framework, I saw things very differently.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when I remembered that I love to laugh and to sing harmony with John when he plays his guitar and that I still get nervous when I\u2019m doing something vulnerable.<\/p>\n<p>And that I find economizing exhausting.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when my good wife score went up dramatically.<\/p>\n<p>Years after I started practicing the Intimacy Skills, John told me that when we met, he felt he had something precious to give and that he was looking for someone who would receive his precious contribution.<\/p>\n<p>He said it in such a vulnerable, endearing way I felt so glad that I had been receptive to his gifts, his intelligence, his jokes and his strength when we met.<\/p>\n<p>That receptivity is one of the things that makes me a good wife.<\/p>\n<p>That, and I still cook for him.<\/p>\n<p>How could you boost your wife score? I\u2019d love to hear in the comments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was the perfect wife. Right up until I actually got married. That\u2019s when it all went kablooey. But I thought that I was a good wife because I: Did so many things to help my husband Worked so hard Was sooooo smart I handled all the money for our family Was great at economizing\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15839,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-15832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Be a Good Wife<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you wondering how to be a good wife. 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Today, I will share some counterintuitive ways to raise your score to be adored by your husband.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-11-14T10:00:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-12-11T22:50:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/how-to-be-a-dood-wife.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"How to Be a Good Wife\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-11-14T10:00:30+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-12-11T22:50:23+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/\"},\"wordCount\":502,\"commentCount\":2,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/how-to-be-a-dood-wife.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Love &amp; Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/\",\"name\":\"How to Be a Good Wife\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-be-a-good-wife\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/how-to-be-a-dood-wife.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-11-14T10:00:30+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-12-11T22:50:23+00:00\",\"description\":\"Are you wondering how to be a good wife. 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