{"id":15834,"date":"2023-11-22T02:00:57","date_gmt":"2023-11-22T10:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=15834"},"modified":"2023-11-22T02:00:59","modified_gmt":"2023-11-22T10:00:59","slug":"i-dont-trust-my-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/i-dont-trust-my-husband\/","title":{"rendered":"I Don&#8217;t Trust My Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s terrible to feel like you can\u2019t trust the man you married, whether <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/188-i-dont-trust-my-husband\/\">you don\u2019t trust him<\/a> to be faithful, to take care of the kids, or to be responsible with money.<\/p>\n<p>It just feels bad.<\/p>\n<p>It means you don\u2019t feel heard or seen because if he were listening and he did care, then he would listen to your concerns and try to support you by doing the things you want him to do so that you could trust him.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s also depressing because if you can\u2019t get him to straighten up, then it seems pretty hopeless that you\u2019d ever be able to trust him, especially if he keeps letting you down and reinforcing that he doesn\u2019t deserve your trust.<\/p>\n<p>How\u2019s that ever going to improve?<\/p>\n<p>Here are 3 ways to inspire him to be a trustworthy man.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/i-dont-trust-my-husband\/#1_Consider_This_Crazy_Idea\" title=\" Consider This Crazy Idea\"> Consider This Crazy Idea<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/i-dont-trust-my-husband\/#2_Let_Him_Drive\" title=\" Let Him Drive\"> Let Him Drive<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/i-dont-trust-my-husband\/#3_Try_an_Experiment\" title=\" Try an Experiment\"> Try an Experiment<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Consider_This_Crazy_Idea\"><\/span>1) Consider This Crazy Idea<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15863\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/having-faith-in-husband.jpg\" alt=\"having faith in husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/having-faith-in-husband.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/having-faith-in-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/having-faith-in-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/having-faith-in-husband-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/having-faith-in-husband-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>What if, instead of asking him to do things so that you can trust him, you turned the whole thing on its head by <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/180-3-secrets-to-rebuilding-trust-in-marriage\/\">deciding to trust him first<\/a>?<\/p>\n<p>I know that sounds crazy, especially if you have evidence that he doesn\u2019t deserve your trust. But another way to think of trust is something you decide to give.<\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s counterintuitive but also exciting about this is that people tend to rise to your expectations of them.<\/p>\n<p>When you demonstrate that you have faith in them, they feel the full weight of that responsibility and trust you\u2019re giving them.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-3984454223\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Let_Him_Drive\"><\/span>2) Let Him Drive<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15864\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/he-decided-to-trust-her.jpg\" alt=\"he decided to trust her\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/he-decided-to-trust-her.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/he-decided-to-trust-her-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/he-decided-to-trust-her-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/he-decided-to-trust-her-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/he-decided-to-trust-her-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In the movie <em>The Horse Whisperer<\/em>, Robert Redford invites young Scarlett Johansson to drive, and she says she\u2019s not old enough and can\u2019t with her impaired leg.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s plenty of evidence he should not trust her to drive the truck.<\/p>\n<p>But he decides to trust her anyway, and terrified Scarlett rises to the occasion, presses the gas and makes the truck lurch forward. It\u2019s not pretty, but it works.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-2078128203\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Next he tells her to turn the truck down a dirt road and she says she can\u2019t, but she does.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, he puts his hat over his eyes, saying he\u2019s going to get some rest while she drives, which prompts her to say she can\u2019t again, but he points out that she IS driving already, so that\u2019s not the question.<\/p>\n<p>Had he invited her to drive with the expectation that she couldn\u2019t do it, was going to hurt herself, hurt him or crash the truck, that outcome could have been very different.<\/p>\n<p>When <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/rebuilding-trust-in-marriage\/\">he decided to trust her<\/a>, he also found reasons to believe it would turn out okay, like that she was mature enough, wanted to succeed, and just needed some encouragement to stretch into doing something new and scary.<\/p>\n<p>What a gift to give her that, right? Anyone who\u2019s ever taught a teenager to drive knows how terrifying that is.<\/p>\n<p>But Robert Redford was confident enough for both of them.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Try_an_Experiment\"><\/span>3) Try an Experiment<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-15865\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/trust-husband.jpg\" alt=\"Trust Husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/trust-husband.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/trust-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/trust-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/trust-husband-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/trust-husband-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>What I love about the scene from <em>The Horse Whisperer<\/em> is the illustration that although we\u2019re often taught that trust is earned, trust is actually something that you can decide to give.<\/p>\n<p>You could decide to do the same thing with your husband and give him your trust.<\/p>\n<p>That means not expecting him to fail but <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/102-should-you-fake-it-sometimes\/\">expecting him to succeed<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>What if you gathered not the evidence of what\u2019s wrong with him but the evidence of what\u2019s right about him, even if that feels sparse?<\/p>\n<p>What might be possible for you if you were to try this experiment? I\u2019d love to hear in the comments.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s terrible to feel like you can\u2019t trust the man you married, whether you don\u2019t trust him to be faithful, to take care of the kids, or to be responsible with money. It just feels bad. It means you don\u2019t feel heard or seen because if he were listening and he did care, then he\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/i-dont-trust-my-husband\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15862,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[710,713],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-15834","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-intimacy","category-infidelity"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I Don&#039;t Trust My Husband (3 reasons to trust him or not?)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Today we are talking about how to demonstrate that you have faith in your 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