{"id":15996,"date":"2024-02-27T02:00:27","date_gmt":"2024-02-27T10:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=15996"},"modified":"2024-02-27T06:08:45","modified_gmt":"2024-02-27T14:08:45","slug":"3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Signs Your Husband Is Not Supportive Now"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It feels terrible when the guy who used to trip over himself trying to help and serve you is now only interested in staring at his phone or computer, staying at work all the time or playing video games.<\/p>\n<p>What a disappointment. You set out to be partners, but he isn\u2019t doing much to contribute, which leaves so much more work for you.<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t need me to tell you when your husband is not being supportive because you already know you don\u2019t feel supported. The bigger question is, why isn\u2019t he supporting you and what can you do about it?<\/p>\n<p>But first things first. Here are the signs he\u2019s not supportive now:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>He doesn\u2019t listen to you<\/li>\n<li>He doesn\u2019t appreciate what you do<\/li>\n<li>He doesn\u2019t do what you ask<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>If you\u2019ve already asked him to be more supportive or told him you need appreciation or help, then what else can you do about it?<\/p>\n<p>Here are 3 effective actions to take if your husband isn\u2019t supportive:<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/#1_Receive_What_He_Is_Offering\" title=\"Receive What He Is Offering\">Receive What He Is Offering<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/#2_Appreciate_the_Support_He_Offers\" title=\"Appreciate the Support He Offers\">Appreciate the Support He Offers<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/#3_Stop_Criticizing_the_Way_He_Does_Things\" title=\"Stop Criticizing the Way He Does Things\">Stop Criticizing the Way He Does Things<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Receive_What_He_Is_Offering\"><\/span>1. Receive What He Is Offering<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-16017\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/how-to-get-support-from-your-husband.jpg\" alt=\"how to get support from your husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/how-to-get-support-from-your-husband.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/how-to-get-support-from-your-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/how-to-get-support-from-your-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/how-to-get-support-from-your-husband-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/how-to-get-support-from-your-husband-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>For example, let\u2019s say you have a new baby and you are doing everything for that baby. Your husband does wash the baby\u2019s bottles but doesn\u2019t do a great job.<\/p>\n<p>As a conscientious mom, you\u2019re not okay with giving the baby a bottle that isn\u2019t properly washed, so you wash it yourself.You also let him know he needs to be more thorough next time.<\/p>\n<p>But there is no next time because he stops washing the bottles.<\/p>\n<p>A new baby takes a lot of time and energy, so you really need support.<\/p>\n<p>One alternative to (re)doing it yourself is to receive your husband\u2019s bottle washing graciously and gratefully.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not perfect. It\u2019s not the way you would do it. But it is an effort to make your life easier, to lighten your load. It\u2019s one less chore for you.<\/p>\n<p>How can you open your eyes a little wider and <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/maintain-balance-in-a-relationship\/\">receive support from <\/a><u>your man<\/u>, even if it\u2019s not perfect?<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-2507201201\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Because when you\u2019re willing to receive support, that can be the start of him learning how he can help you even better next time.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t be surprised if those bottles get cleaner when he feels his contribution is making a difference.<\/p>\n<p>I spoke to a husband who was feeling so powerless to support his wife with their new baby because he wasn\u2019t allowed to wash the bottles. He was looking for his opening to support her, but he didn\u2019t see one.<\/p>\n<p>So she felt unsupported and overwhelmed, and he felt rejected.<\/p>\n<p>You might ask yourself, what support is my husband offering that I am rejecting? What is the bottle washing equivalent at your house?<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2977131488\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Appreciate_the_Support_He_Offers\"><\/span>2. Appreciate the Support He Offers<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-16018\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/I-dont-feel-supported-by-my-husband.jpg\" alt=\"I don't feel supported by my husband\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/I-dont-feel-supported-by-my-husband.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/I-dont-feel-supported-by-my-husband-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/I-dont-feel-supported-by-my-husband-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/I-dont-feel-supported-by-my-husband-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/I-dont-feel-supported-by-my-husband-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>You might be thinking, \u201cAt least that guy was offering to wash the bottles. My husband doesn\u2019t offer any support. He offers zero, zilch, nada,\u201d which is why you\u2019re reading this blog.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s a terrible feeling. Who wouldn\u2019t be resentful about not getting any support from the man who promised to care for you in front of God and everybody?!<\/p>\n<p>One way to reverse that is by looking for ways he <em>does<\/em> support you. Does he work hard to support the family? Is he a dad to your kids? Does he take out the trash, pick up groceries at the store or carry them into the house?<\/p>\n<p>Think very small with me here because even though it may seem like the bare minimum or something he does mostly for himself, identifying and appreciating the things he does that contribute to your life is the key to having a much better experience.<\/p>\n<p>One student told me she wasn\u2019t going to throw her husband a parade because he helped the kids with their homework.<\/p>\n<p>Likewise, Master Coach Kathy Murray once said she wasn\u2019t going to stroke her husband\u2019s ego by appreciating him. But each decided to <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/051-the-most-powerful-intimacy-skill\/\">experiment with this idea anyway, expressing gratitude<\/a> to her husband for the way he was supporting her, even though it didn\u2019t feel like he was doing nearly enough.<\/p>\n<p>Their husbands both responded by becoming much more supportive of their wives when they felt successful in making her happy.<\/p>\n<p>You can see how that would happen, right?<\/p>\n<p>One great place to start is to thank your husband for working to support the family, even if you do also. It might feel really weird to say that, but what can it hurt to experiment and see what happens?<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Stop_Criticizing_the_Way_He_Does_Things\"><\/span>3. Stop Criticizing the Way He Does Things<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-16019\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/criticism-in-marriage.jpg\" alt=\"Criticism in marriage\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/criticism-in-marriage.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/criticism-in-marriage-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/criticism-in-marriage-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/criticism-in-marriage-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/criticism-in-marriage-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>He doesn\u2019t wash the bottles correctly or he tries to solve things when you just want him to listen or he fixates on the lawn when you want him to fix the screen.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re anything like I was, you tell him. You\u2019re just being honest!<\/p>\n<p>But you also may be criticizing the way he does things. If he\u2019s anything like my husband, he does things differently, not the way you would do things. Sometimes that seems wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Especially when I\u2019m pretty sure I know what\u2019s best.<\/p>\n<p>But it turns out, I don\u2019t always know what\u2019s best. I have been proven wrong on that assumption time and time again.<\/p>\n<p>My husband, who has my back and cares deeply about my happiness, has been right more times than I care to admit. It\u2019s crazy!<\/p>\n<p>In my better moments, I remember that. When I\u2019ve forgotten, it\u2019s a good sign that I need to <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/090-the-1-indispensable-practice-for-a-lasting-marriage\/\">rest or to have some fun or girl talk<\/a>. A walk around the block is a pretty sure thing for reminding me that I know only a little and that I married a really smart man.<\/p>\n<p>When I open my eyes wide and look for the signs that he\u2019s supportive now, I see them everywhere.<\/p>\n<p>What signs do you see, however small, that your husband <em>is<\/em> supportive? I\u2019d love to hear\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It feels terrible when the guy who used to trip over himself trying to help and serve you is now only interested in staring at his phone or computer, staying at work all the time or playing video games. What a disappointment. You set out to be partners, but he isn\u2019t doing much to contribute,\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16016,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-15996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>3 Signs Your Husband Is Not Supportive Now<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Today we are talking about 3 effective actions to take if your husband isn\u2019t supportive.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 Signs Your Husband Is Not Supportive Now\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today we are talking about 3 effective actions to take if your husband isn\u2019t supportive.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-02-27T10:00:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-02-27T14:08:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"3 Signs Your Husband Is Not Supportive Now\",\"datePublished\":\"2024-02-27T10:00:27+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-02-27T14:08:45+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/\"},\"wordCount\":1021,\"commentCount\":2,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive-now\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/signs-your-husband-is-not-supportive.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Love &amp; 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