{"id":16688,"date":"2025-01-05T20:00:02","date_gmt":"2025-01-06T04:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/?p=16688"},"modified":"2025-01-05T20:13:01","modified_gmt":"2025-01-06T04:13:01","slug":"why-do-men-look-at-other-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do Men Look at Other Women"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Part of why you decided to go all in with your man and commit to him is because he made you feel special.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re like me and most women I talk to, you want to feel special in your relationship. That\u2019s important.<\/p>\n<p>So when you see your husband checking out other women, it\u2019s not only disappointing, it can be threatening. That\u2019s not the agreement you had when he said you were the most wonderful, special, amazing woman in the world.<\/p>\n<p>It can make you angry if he\u2019s looking at another woman in an obvious way! <em>C\u2019mon! Just keep your eyes in your eye sockets, please. <\/em>It can be embarrassing and make you feel insignificant. And you shouldn\u2019t have to feel that way with your man!<\/p>\n<p>So what gives? Why is it so difficult for a man to just be respectful and only look at you and not at other women?<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s talk about that, along with three simple steps you can take today to feel secure and special.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women\/#1_Recognize_the_Scenery\" title=\"Recognize the Scenery\">Recognize the Scenery<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women\/#2_Ask_Yourself_This_Question\" title=\"Ask Yourself This Question\">Ask Yourself This Question<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women\/#3_Create_the_Experience_You_Want_to_Have\" title=\"Create the Experience You Want to Have\">Create the Experience You Want to Have<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Recognize_the_Scenery\"><\/span>1. Recognize the Scenery<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-16694 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/what-is-he-thinking-about.jpg\" alt=\"what is he thinking about\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/what-is-he-thinking-about.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/what-is-he-thinking-about-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/what-is-he-thinking-about-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/what-is-he-thinking-about-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/what-is-he-thinking-about-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I mean, in a perfect world, he would only be interested in you, only want to talk to you, and only have eyes for you, right?<\/p>\n<p>But this is not a perfect world. And I still remember how shocked and disappointed I felt realizing this myself.<\/p>\n<p>I wanted to be the only, only, only one my husband looked at. Ever!<\/p>\n<p>Because if he didn\u2019t ever look at anyone else, then I never had to feel afraid that he was going to find some other woman more attractive and threaten my status as his one and only.<\/p>\n<p>But we live in a world with a lot of beautiful women. So many! And there\u2019s no real way never to look at them. Sometimes it\u2019s unavoidable. Funny thing, I find myself also noticing them and wanting a good long look at times.<\/p>\n<p>I even complimented a beautiful woman at an athletic clothing store recently because while the rest of us were strolling around in our workout clothes, she was wearing a fabulous dress and heels, with her hair perfectly styled and her makeup tastefully done.<\/p>\n<p>So I wanted to look!<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-1059526543\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>It was a public service that she was going around so beautified. I took pleasure in admiring her appearance, just like I do when I\u2019m watching a movie or seeing a model.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s fun to look at beautiful people of either gender, but since <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/012-how-to-be-feminine-and-be-10x-more-attractive\/\">we women are the ones with the tail feathers<\/a> in the human species, it\u2019s especially fun to look at women.<\/p>\n<p>And you might say, \u201cWell Laura, that\u2019s different!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You might think there\u2019s no harm in me admiring a beautiful woman, and I agree. Because that\u2019s all I\u2019m doing, just admiring.<\/p>\n<p>But what if that\u2019s all your husband is doing too, when he looks at other women?<\/p>\n<p>You might think that, obviously, that\u2019s not all he\u2019s doing when he\u2019s looking at another woman.<\/p>\n<p>He might be thinking things that you don\u2019t want him to think. And I know from my own experience that it can be very upsetting to think about what my husband might be thinking about that I don\u2019t want him to think about. Especially if it\u2019s all in my head! I can make my own imaginary horror shows.<\/p>\n<p>But I don\u2019t really know what he\u2019s thinking.<\/p>\n<p>Everyone has private thoughts. I can\u2019t know what they are, but I can know the kind of experience I want to have. And I like to focus on that because that\u2019s how you get more of what you want.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-4151986360\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Ask_Yourself_This_Question\"><\/span>2. Ask Yourself This Question<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-16695 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/get-husbands-opinion.jpg\" alt=\"Get your husband's opinion\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/get-husbands-opinion.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/get-husbands-opinion-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/get-husbands-opinion-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/get-husbands-opinion-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/get-husbands-opinion-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In those moments when I\u2019m upset with John for thinking whatever I think he\u2019s thinking, here\u2019s the question I\u2019ve had to ask myself: \u201cWhat would I have that I don\u2019t have now if he wasn\u2019t thinking what I think he\u2019s thinking when he looked at the woman who just walked right in front of us?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s how I can get my eyeballs off of his paper and put them squarely back onto my paper so I can <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/podcast\/127-how-to-know-what-youre-feeling\/\">figure out how I feel<\/a> and what I want.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe I feel insecure, and I want to feel desired instead. I might want to know that John admires me and finds me attractive. When that happens, now I just pop a pose and ask him, \u201cHow\u2019s this outfit?\u201d or \u201cHow do you like my hair?\u201d and he is happy to tell me how cute I am.<\/p>\n<p>That might sound a little needy, and I guess it is. But as a mere mortal woman, I like to feel seen and desired.<\/p>\n<p>I get a lot of unsolicited compliments from John every day, but sometimes I solicit them too. He seems happy to admire me whenever I want, regardless of whether I\u2019m all dressed up like the woman in the clothing store or sweaty and sandy from the beach. I also get lots of spontaneous kisses and cute texts, and I get to go to Disneyland for our 34th wedding anniversary.<\/p>\n<p>And all of that makes me feel so special that it doesn\u2019t seem that significant if he notices the beautiful scenery going by.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I even point out the scenery for him: \u201cCheck out THAT one!\u201d and we enjoy that scenery together. You might think that\u2019s weird, and I can see why you\u2019d feel that way. But for me, it\u2019s not that different from pointing out a work of art or a shooting star.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Create_the_Experience_You_Want_to_Have\"><\/span>3. Create the Experience You Want to Have<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-16696\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/why-do-you-care-if-your-husband-looks-at-other-women.jpg\" alt=\"why do you care if your husband looks at other women\" width=\"1336\" height=\"562\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/why-do-you-care-if-your-husband-looks-at-other-women.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/why-do-you-care-if-your-husband-looks-at-other-women-150x63.jpg 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/why-do-you-care-if-your-husband-looks-at-other-women-480x202.jpg 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/why-do-you-care-if-your-husband-looks-at-other-women-768x323.jpg 768w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/why-do-you-care-if-your-husband-looks-at-other-women-1200x505.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>If you find yourself feeling bad or upset when your husband is looking at other women, the next question I have for you is: What would you have that you don\u2019t have now if your husband never, ever looked at another woman?<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you would feel more secure or admired or special.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s perfect because that\u2019s an experience you want to have, not something he needs to do or not do, think or not think.<\/p>\n<p>It doesn\u2019t have much to do with what he\u2019s looking at as you might think, actually.<\/p>\n<p>So starting with your <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/laws-of-attraction-in-relationships\/\">desire to feel special<\/a>, how can you have that even if your man just looked at another woman?<\/p>\n<p>One way is to check who he has his arm around, who he sleeps beside, who he\u2019s working to support, who he watches movies with, who he comes home to at night, who he is raising kids with, or who he does chores for.<\/p>\n<p>You can check who he committed to for life in front of God and everybody, and who he professes to love.<\/p>\n<p>If that\u2019s you, then good news. You have evidence that regardless of who he\u2019s looking at in passing, you are very special to him.<\/p>\n<p>What evidence do you have of how special you are to your man? I\u2019d love to hear below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Part of why you decided to go all in with your man and commit to him is because he made you feel special. If you\u2019re like me and most women I talk to, you want to feel special in your relationship. That\u2019s important. So when you see your husband checking out other women, it\u2019s not\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16693,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[710],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-16688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-intimacy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Do Men Look at Other Women<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Do Men Look at Other Women\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Part of why you decided to go all in with your man and commit to him is because he made you feel special. If you\u2019re like me and most women I talk to, you want to feel special in your relationship. That\u2019s important. So when you see your husband checking out other women, it\u2019s not\u2026 Read More &raquo;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-01-06T04:00:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-01-06T04:13:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/why-do-men-look-at-other-women.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura 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I'm Laura. New York Times Bestselling Author I was the perfect wife--until I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that\u2019s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me returned. I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills\u2122 that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. 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