{"id":5667,"date":"2014-09-26T22:01:13","date_gmt":"2014-09-26T22:01:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=5667"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:35:34","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:35:34","slug":"how-to-hold-your-tongue-without-biting-it-off-by-julie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-hold-your-tongue-without-biting-it-off-by-julie\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Hold Your Tongue Without Biting it Off!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Empowered Wife Julie<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Have you ever met an attorney that didn\u2019t love to argue? Me neither! Surprisingly, this is not always the best tool to use in a marriage. Even after this realization, I found myself struggling to hold my tongue- without biting it off!&#8221;<\/em> \u2013Julie<\/p>\n<p>When my first marriage ended, it left me crushed. After a few years of damage repair, dating, and personal growth, I met and married my second husband. We were insanely in love and amazingly happy with each other. This marital bliss lasted for a few months, until life started to happen. Before long I began to notice some changes in my husband. What was once my funny, intelligent, passionate boyfriend was now my irritable and touchy husband. What was happening? Where did the passion go?<\/p>\n<p>I found myself pulling out one of Laura\u2019s books to try to help me find the elusive intimacy and passion that I craved. As I began to reread The Surrendered Wife, I also began practicing the Intimacy Skills and reached out for coaching\u2013something that I didn\u2019t do in my first marriage.<\/p>\n<p>The very first\u2013and maybe the biggest\u2013change that I took on was learning how to hold my tongue and, let me tell you, it was not easy! I argue. I am attorney, and I am very good at it. However, I didn\u2019t realize how much I was always trying to be right. I thought that I, as a Southern woman, was quite polite and ladylike when correcting my husband. I might even go so far as to say I was soft and feminine in my corrections. Apparently, this behavior was not nearly as cute, sweet, or helpful as I thought it was.<\/p>\n<p>In the beginning, it felt like the most unnatural thing for me to stay quiet and not try to be right about everything. I felt like a volcano; volatile and bubbling just below the surface and ready to erupt at any given second! But I stayed committed to practicing and giving it my best and it started to get easier. Once I saw that nothing bad was happening when I stopped trying to control, correct or to be right, it was even easier to let go. I started to really listen to what my husband had to say. I also realized that when I took the time to listen, he was right a lot more than I gave him credit for.<\/p>\n<p>I actually found a lot of peace in not having to be right all the time.<\/p>\n<p>Being a good listener is not something that I had been particularly good at in the past. I was always thinking of what I would say next, how to slip in an argument or correction, or how to prove my point. But now I can truly listen to what my husband has to say. I can be more present to what someone is sharing with me and keep the connection and intimacy, not only with my husband but with girlfriends and family too.<\/p>\n<p>My marriage now is everything that I have always dreamt it could be. I feel completely connected, my husband adores me, and I have what I always wanted; a marriage filled with intimacy, passion, and peace. And I haven\u2019t lost my tongue yet!<\/p>\n<p>Laura and I want to help you have the same kind of intimacy, passion and peace in your relationship. To learn how, apply for a Discovery Session <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/marriage-relationship-coaching\/\">here.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Empowered Wife Julie &#8220;Have you ever met an attorney that didn\u2019t love to argue? Me neither! Surprisingly, this is not always the best tool to use in a marriage. Even after this realization, I found myself struggling to hold my tongue- without biting it off!&#8221; \u2013Julie When my first marriage ended, it left me crushed.\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-hold-your-tongue-without-biting-it-off-by-julie\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[708],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-5667","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How To Hold Your Tongue Without Biting it Off!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-hold-your-tongue-without-biting-it-off-by-julie\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Hold Your Tongue Without Biting it Off!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Empowered Wife Julie &#8220;Have you ever met an attorney that didn\u2019t love to argue? 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