{"id":6921,"date":"2015-07-16T18:45:44","date_gmt":"2015-07-16T18:45:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=6921"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:35:26","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:35:26","slug":"how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Your Wife to Stop Nagging"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As a former nagging shrew, I can tell you that it\u2019s not an enjoyable pastime. It took me a long time to even realize I was nagging. I felt soooo justified.<\/p>\n<p>I was <em>convinced<\/em> that if I didn\u2019t repeat myself and make lists for my husband and manage him, nothing would ever get done. When he didn\u2019t respond well, I came back with even sharper and louder orders, which never worked.<\/p>\n<p>Bad idea&#8211;I know. It really cost me my dignity and self-esteem, and it sure cost me intimacy and connection with my husband.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t like the sound of my own sarcasm and whining. It wasn\u2019t attractive&#8211;even to me. I knew I was driving him away, and I was terrified I was going to end up alone if I didn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n<p>Truth be told, I didn\u2019t even want to be around myself because I sounded so screechy all the time.<\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/#1_Heres_the_big_dark_secret_we_naggers_all_have\" title=\"Here\u2019s the big, dark secret we naggers all have:\">Here\u2019s the big, dark secret we naggers all have:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/#2_What_Doesnt_Work_to_Get_Your_Wife_to_Stop_Nagging\" title=\"What Doesn\u2019t Work to Get Your Wife to Stop Nagging\">What Doesn\u2019t Work to Get Your Wife to Stop Nagging<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/#3_What_Can_a_Husband_Do\" title=\"What Can a Husband Do?\">What Can a Husband Do?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/#4_My_World-Famous_System_to_Stop_Nagging\" title=\"My World-Famous System to Stop Nagging\">My World-Famous System to Stop Nagging<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/#5_She_Wants_to_Be_Desired_Cherished_and_Adored_Every_Day\" title=\"She Wants to Be Desired, Cherished and Adored Every Day\">She Wants to Be Desired, Cherished and Adored Every Day<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/#6_Instead_of_Making_a_Suggestion_or_a_Request_Create_Curiosity\" title=\"Instead of Making a Suggestion or a Request, Create Curiosity\">Instead of Making a Suggestion or a Request, Create Curiosity<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Heres_the_big_dark_secret_we_naggers_all_have\"><\/span>1. Here\u2019s the big, dark secret we naggers all have:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><!--more--> We\u2019re super lonely, sad and afraid. Otherwise, we wouldn\u2019t nag.<\/p>\n<p>I was so overwhelmed and anxious I couldn\u2019t relax. So I was tired most of the time and that made everything seem wrong and bad. So I tried to fix it\u2026with more nagging.<\/p>\n<p>You can see where this is headed.<\/p>\n<p>It was just as miserable for me to be a nag as it was for my husband to be the naggee.<\/p>\n<p>But for years, I had no idea how to stop.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-3178373499\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_What_Doesnt_Work_to_Get_Your_Wife_to_Stop_Nagging\"><\/span>2. What Doesn\u2019t Work to Get Your Wife to Stop Nagging<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I know nagging seems irrational and it\u2019s certainly infuriating.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve probably tried telling your wife to relax and quit worrying so much because everything will be fine. You told her you loved her and you just want her to be happy. Maybe you said, \u201cJust let it go.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But that didn\u2019t work. It never does. It\u2019s not just you. That only makes things worse.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-3657377072\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-17020\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>When you couldn\u2019t take it anymore, maybe you told her to \u201cGive it a rest,\u201d or just, \u201cStop nagging me!\u201d Perhaps you\u2019ve said, \u201cGet off my back!\u201d or just turned up the volume on the TV and tuned her out.<\/p>\n<p>That didn\u2019t work either.<\/p>\n<p>If it did, you wouldn\u2019t be reading this blog.<\/p>\n<p>I know you want her to know that if she would just stop nagging, you\u2019d be able to do so much more to make her happy&#8211;just about anything, really.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019d probably be buying her flowers, or cleaning the garage, or taking the kids out for the morning so she can sleep if she\u2019d just give you a chance.<\/p>\n<p>And yes&#8211;you\u2019d probably like to watch the game in peace, or go golfing without feeling like a jerk for being gone all morning, or wear what you wanted to wear to the party.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, everyone would be so much happier if she would just chill out and stop barking orders.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_What_Can_a_Husband_Do\"><\/span>3. What Can a Husband Do?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>All my books and blogs (with the exception of this one) are for women, but I get some heartbreaking emails from men wanting to know how to get their wives to read my book, and asking if I have a book for them too. They tell me they have two boys or three teenagers, and they\u2019ve been married for decades and that things are grim. They\u2019re searching for some way to shore up the relationship because they\u2019re afraid the end is near.<\/p>\n<p>Mostly the husbands who write to me want to know how to make their marriages peaceful again. Mostly that comes down to wanting to know how to get their wives to stop nagging.<\/p>\n<p>I have a world-famous system that puts an end to nagging&#8211;as long as <em>the wife<\/em> comes to me asking for help with her relationship. Usually she is looking for help with getting her husband to change, which is a perfectly good starting point. If she wants to learn how to end the cycle of feeling like his mother and become his lover again, or awaken his natural desire to make her ridiculously happy again, we\u2019re all good, because that\u2019s what we do around here. That\u2019s what we\u2019re really good at.<\/p>\n<p>Her husband does change just as soon as she starts using my Six Intimacy Skills<sup>TM<\/sup>, even if he doesn\u2019t know she\u2019s using them. She changes and then he responds to her differently.<\/p>\n<p>And by differently, I mean way, way better.<\/p>\n<p>When a husband contacts me, wanting to know how to get his wife to change, that\u2019s another story. Wives are the keepers of the relationships, so men don\u2019t have as much power to improve them. But he does have the power to introduce her to books and training that change everything.<\/p>\n<p>And by change everything, I mean make it way, way better.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_My_World-Famous_System_to_Stop_Nagging\"><\/span>4. My World-Famous System to Stop Nagging<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I created a system that helped me stop nagging and controlling. It\u2019s pretty simple, but it takes some focus to apply. Over 150,000 women all over the world in 16 languages and 27 countries have found it astonishingly effective. It will work for your wife too.<\/p>\n<p>Now you\u2019re wondering, how do I get my wife to use your system?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m going to tell you what\u2019s worked for others so you can follow the same steps. Proceed with caution, as it\u2019s a little tricky and there are some pitfalls, but it can absolutely be done. I\u2019ve had women come and train with me at the highest level to become a relationship coach and transform their whole families after her husband introduced her to my work via a $16 book. She took it from there and ran with it.<\/p>\n<p>As a husband, your goal is just to open the door and let her walk through if she wants to.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_She_Wants_to_Be_Desired_Cherished_and_Adored_Every_Day\"><\/span>5. She Wants to Be Desired, Cherished and Adored Every Day<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>The goal is for her to become willing to read my book, <em><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/the-empowered-wife\/\">The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets, for Attracting Your Husband&#8217;s Times, Attention and Affection<\/a>.<\/em> If you try to force it on her, she won\u2019t <em>ever<\/em> be able to read it. Never, ever, ever. Just like you can\u2019t get yourself to clean the garage after she tells you that you promised you would and asks when you\u2019re going to start.<\/p>\n<p>Human nature is contrary. We might as well acknowledge that before we start anything so you don\u2019t make that door you\u2019re trying to open impossible to walk through.<\/p>\n<p>Also, nothing good is going to come of bringing this book up when she\u2019s upset. The middle of a fight is not the time. And what you don\u2019t want to say under any circumstance is, \u201cYou should read this book;\u201d that would be controlling.<\/p>\n<p>Once you do that, it\u2019s game over. Might as well go back to getting nagged for not cleaning the garage.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Instead_of_Making_a_Suggestion_or_a_Request_Create_Curiosity\"><\/span>6. Instead of Making a Suggestion or a Request, Create Curiosity<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<h3>Step 1:<\/h3>\n<p>Buy a paperback copy of my book, <em>The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets, for Attracting Your Husband&#8217;s Times, Attention and Affection<\/em>. I suggest a paperback, even if you\u2019re all ebooks at your house because what you want to do is create intrigue and for that, you\u2019re going to need a visual, like a paperback.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe my book <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/store\/the-books\/surrendered-wife-sample-chapter\/\"><em>The Surrendered Wife<\/em><\/a> is the one that attracted your attention, but that title is hard for many women to accept (even though it\u2019s NOT about being subservient or obedient, many people assume that it is).<\/p>\n<h3>Step 2:<\/h3>\n<p>Start reading <em>The Empowered Wife<\/em> around the house. Leave it folded open on the coffee table or by the bed where she might see it. Allow some time for her to comment or inquire about it. I suggest at least two months.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s really aimed at women, but one section I recommend also for men is page 75, Listening 101. You have my permission to start there and end there. The goal is really for your wife to read this book since it\u2019s designed to show her how to use her strengths and gifts as a woman.<\/p>\n<h3>Step 3:<\/h3>\n<p>If she comments about the book in any way, consider saying something provocative but sincere about it (that won\u2019t be hard because it is provocative).<\/p>\n<p>For instance, you might say you heard about it on the radio or came across it on a blog, and that you found the premise surprising but spot-on. Or maybe counterintuitive, but compelling. Be sure to use your own words, but use words that will make her want to know more. You know your wife very well, so say what you think will pique her interest, and do your best to stay detached from the outcome.<\/p>\n<p>You can invite her in further by saying, \u201cI\u2019m curious what you would think of it,\u201d if you think it\u2019s a good idea.<\/p>\n<h3>Step 4:<\/h3>\n<p>If two months go by and she hasn\u2019t brought up the book and things don\u2019t seem to be improving at your house, when she next complains about you or the relationship, I suggest you say something like this:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI\u2019m glad you brought that up. I want to improve our relationship too, so I looked for a book that could help and I found an interesting one&#8211;very different from most relationship advice. I\u2019m not sure what you would think of it, or if you\u2019re willing to read it. If there\u2019s a book you want me to read, I\u2019m open to that. We\u2019re pretty smart and I bet we can improve things around here if we put our minds to it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s it&#8211;you\u2019re done. If she runs with it, miracles will happen. If she doesn\u2019t, then I know of nothing more you can do. Any further attempts will be like barring the door to the book with steel reinforcements. If you mention the book in an angry moment, you could create enormous resistance that could take years for her to overcome.<\/p>\n<p>So mum\u2019s the word. Let her find her own way, in her own time.<\/p>\n<p>Some people will read this blog and say I\u2019m encouraging manipulation, but a careful reading will demonstrate that everything in this blog is about speaking for yourself, which is the opposite of manipulation. It\u2019s also about being considerate of human nature, and what makes people feel emotionally safe, which is a critical component of intimacy and connection. It\u2019s about introducing new ideas in a thoughtful way.<\/p>\n<p>I hope that you get that I\u2019m passionate about supporting you and your wife having a great relationship, and getting all the blessings that come along with that.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve wrestled with this question for over 15 years, because of heartbreaking emails from thousands of husbands who all wanted to know the same thing: \u201cHow do I get my wife to read your book?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Once she reads the book, your wife may get quiet about what she\u2019s doing (because that\u2019s what I suggest). She doesn\u2019t need to consult with you to practice the contents and create a breathtaking change in your home. You\u2019ll know that something\u2019s different.<\/p>\n<p>And by different, I mean way, way better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a former nagging shrew, I can tell you that it\u2019s not an enjoyable pastime. It took me a long time to even realize I was nagging. I felt soooo justified. I was convinced that if I didn\u2019t repeat myself and make lists for my husband and manage him, nothing would ever get done. When\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-get-your-wife-to-stop-nagging\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6925,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[708],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-6921","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Get Your Wife to Stop Nagging<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"An astonishingly effective system that helped over 150,000 women in 16 languages and 27 countries stop nagging--including me. 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