{"id":7050,"date":"2015-08-06T07:45:05","date_gmt":"2015-08-06T14:45:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=7050"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:35:24","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:35:24","slug":"top-three-signs-youre-the-one-wrecking-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/top-three-signs-youre-the-one-wrecking-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Three Signs You\u2019re the One Wrecking Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Everybody knows marriage is a 50-50 partnership, but what if it isn\u2019t?<\/p>\n<p>What if one of you is wrecking the marriage and the other person is just responding in kind? Sure, both people are suffering and stressed, but what if one person has the key?<\/p>\n<p>Surprisingly, that\u2019s what I see in my relationship coaching practice every day. And the person who\u2019s usually wrecking things is overwhelmingly&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->&#8230;the wife.<\/p>\n<p>Now, if you&#8217;re a wife, that doesn&#8217;t mean it&#8217;s your fault.<\/p>\n<p>If your marriage is in the ditch, it\u2019s because no one ever showed you the Intimacy Skills.<\/p>\n<p>A happy marriage&#8211;just like anything else that\u2019s worthwhile in life&#8211;takes some skill. If they didn\u2019t offer <em>Relationships 101<\/em> at your school and you\u2019re from a broken or miserable home, where would you have learned?<\/p>\n<p>The good news is that with a little training, any woman can learn the intimacy skills\u2014just like anyone can learn to drive<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re an unhappy wife, you can return your broken, DOA marriage back to the euphoria of the early days.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m talking about messed-up marriages where he had an affair or is having one still, or you\u2019re separated, or you already have divorce attorneys.<\/p>\n<p>The affection, connection, and trust can be completely restored. I\u2019ve seen over 150,000 women single-handedly revitalize the intimacy and passion in their relationships by practicing the intimacy skills I discovered 15 years ago while trying to save my own failing marriage.<\/p>\n<p>But do you really have the power to transform <em>your<\/em> hopeless and exhausting marriage?<\/p>\n<p>If you identify with two of these telltale signs then the answer is definitely yes&#8211;you can make your marriage playful and passionate again:<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-1585901149\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/top-three-signs-youre-the-one-wrecking-your-marriage\/#1_Youre_responsible_for_everything\" title=\"You\u2019re responsible for everything\">You\u2019re responsible for everything<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/top-three-signs-youre-the-one-wrecking-your-marriage\/#2_You_believe_your_husband_is_the_problem\" title=\"You believe your husband is the problem\">You believe your husband is the problem<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/top-three-signs-youre-the-one-wrecking-your-marriage\/#3_Youre_angry_and_unhappy_a_lot\" title=\"You\u2019re angry and unhappy a lot\">You\u2019re angry and unhappy a lot<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Youre_responsible_for_everything\"><\/span>1. You\u2019re responsible for everything<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>One of the most common signs that you\u2019re unwittingly wrecking you\u2019re marriage is that you\u2019re responsible for everything\u2014from making the doctor\u2019s appointments to paying the bills; from helping the kids with their homework to earning the money; from cleaning the house to calling someone to fix the refrigerator.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, you\u2019re efficient and productive&#8211;but the price of being superwoman is loneliness and overwhelm. Relying on your husband to handle some of the chores is scary because you feel he would drop the ball and there would be hell to pay. By doing everything yourself, you can make sure it\u2019s is done the right way. That seems only logical, but it\u2019s actually undermining your relationship in two ways. One is that you\u2019re resentful, which ruins the intimacy. The other is that your husband knows that you don\u2019t trust him to do anything important, which hurts.<\/p>\n<p>Consider resigning from a few of your jobs. Let him handle dry cleaning and dentist appointments. Instead of telling him which cell phone plan to choose for the family, try saying, as one of my clients did, \u201cWhatever you think. I trust you.\u201d He won\u2019t do it your way, but he may surprise you by finding solutions you never thought of. You\u2019ll have a true partnership again instead of feeling like the mom of a lazy teenager.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-1876083285\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_You_believe_your_husband_is_the_problem\"><\/span>2. You believe your husband is the problem<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>You\u2019ve done a lot of work on yourself and he hasn\u2019t. You\u2019re more spiritual, smarter and cultured. You think that if he would at least <em>try<\/em> to improve in the ways that you\u2019ve asked him to then there would be hope for your marriage\u2014but he won\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what all of my clients think at first. It\u2019s pretty eye-opening to see how experimenting with a few changes yourself can have an immediate, positive impact on your marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Your husband is not as unspiritual, stupid and uncivilized as you think he is. You wouldn\u2019t have married an idiot\u2014you\u2019re too smart for that. But it\u2019s not helping the intimacy when he looks in your eyes and sees those insulting beliefs directed back at him. Who wouldn\u2019t be defensive?<\/p>\n<p>Until you clean up your side of the street by treating your husband more respectfully you can\u2019t be sure who\u2019s causing most of the suffering in your marriage. If you\u2019re like most of my clients, you\u2019re wondering, \u201cWhat about him treating <em>me<\/em> more respectfully?\u201d But since the only person you can control is yourself and you want a respectful marriage, try being the first to be respectful.<\/p>\n<p>One simple way to be respectful is to really listen to him without agreeing or disagreeing. A great phrase for doing just that is: \u201cI hear you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Even if he\u2019s saying things that make you think, \u201cThere he goes again,\u201d the act of listening without trying to teach, correct or criticize him will clear up the wall-to-wall hostility in a hurry. If you find it impossible not to roll your eyes when he\u2019s talking, consider intimacy skills training so you can maintain your dignity and avoid a hostility hangover.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Youre_angry_and_unhappy_a_lot\"><\/span>3. You\u2019re angry and unhappy a lot<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>To have a happy marriage, you have to be happy to begin with. And since the only person who can make you happy is you, it\u2019s critical to focus on your happiness every day. You\u2019ll not only have a more enjoyable life, you\u2019ll give your relationship a fighting chance.<\/p>\n<p>You might be thinking that you would be happier if you weren\u2019t in a broken marriage, but if you were happier, you wouldn\u2019t be in a broken marriage.<\/p>\n<p>Consider committing to doing three things that make you happy every day\u2014activities whose only purpose is to make you feel good. You might think that\u2019s absolutely impossible with all your responsibilities, but how else do you expect to get happy? By getting divorced? That never works.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s nothing more irresistible than a happy dance, and if you haven\u2019t been doing yours lately that\u2019s a big part of what\u2019s gone missing. He used to make you happy, and he can again\u2014but only if you make yourself happy first.<\/p>\n<p>Snippy, exasperated and angry isn\u2019t the real you anyway. When you find your way back to being the Girl of Fun and Light your husband will find you irresistible\u2014just like he did in the very beginning.<\/p>\n<p><em>To learn the secrets of feeling desired, cherished and adored for life, sign up for free video training at lauradoyle.org<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everybody knows marriage is a 50-50 partnership, but what if it isn\u2019t? What if one of you is wrecking the marriage and the other person is just responding in kind? Sure, both people are suffering and stressed, but what if one person has the key? Surprisingly, that\u2019s what I see in my relationship coaching practice\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/top-three-signs-youre-the-one-wrecking-your-marriage\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7055,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-7050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Top 3 Signs You\u2019re the One Wrecking Your Marriage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Everybody knows marriage is 50-50, but what if it isn\u2019t? 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