{"id":7265,"date":"2015-10-22T04:00:31","date_gmt":"2015-10-22T11:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=7265"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:35:17","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:35:17","slug":"why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Doesn&#8217;t My Husband Love Me?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Being married to a man who was once affectionate and thoughtful, but isn\u2019t anymore, is painful and heartbreaking.<\/p>\n<p>I still remember what that was like. It hurts just thinking about it, even though that was years ago.<\/p>\n<p>But what if the underlying problem was something you could fix pretty quickly, once you knew how?<\/p>\n<p>Because that\u2019s what happened to me.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m going to reveal the hidden habit that was squelching <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-doesnt-love-me\/\">my husband\u2019s love for me<\/a>&#8211;and tell you what I did to get it all back.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll also give you a simple, powerful phrase you can start using right away so that your husband gets happy to see you.<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/#1_What_Actually_Happened_to_Make_Him_Distant\" title=\"What Actually Happened to Make Him Distant?\">What Actually Happened to Make Him Distant?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/#2_You_are_Your_Husbands_Mirror\" title=\"You are Your Husband\u2019s Mirror\">You are Your Husband\u2019s Mirror<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/#3_I_Still_Remember_What_That_Was_Like\" title=\"I Still Remember What That Was Like\">I Still Remember What That Was Like<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/#4_Pretend_That_You_Respect_Your_Husband\" title=\"Pretend That You Respect Your Husband\">Pretend That You Respect Your Husband<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/#5_Your_Husband_is_The_Same_Guy_Now_as_He_Was_When_You_Met\" title=\"Your Husband is The Same Guy Now as He Was When You Met\">Your Husband is The Same Guy Now as He Was When You Met<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/#6_Did_you_catch_that\" title=\"Did you catch that?\">Did you catch that?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_What_Actually_Happened_to_Make_Him_Distant\"><\/span>1. What Actually Happened to Make Him Distant?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>First, let\u2019s go back to the way things were early in your relationship. If you\u2019re anything like me, you saw that your husband was a smart guy. He had so many desirable qualities. He was attractive.<\/p>\n<p>Even if you\u2019re not remembering that so strongly right now, I can\u2019t imagine you would have wanted to marry him if you didn\u2019t feel that way. Can you?<\/p>\n<p>You were happy to marry such a great guy. At first.<\/p>\n<p>But since then, you\u2019ve changed.<\/p>\n<p>I know it seems like he\u2019s the one who changed, but consider the possibility that you are the one who\u2019s changed, and he\u2019s just responding to you differently.<\/p>\n<p>You may not have noticed because it happened gradually, but there have been times when you saw he was lacking common sense, or did things in an ineffective way.<\/p>\n<p>Of course you noticed. You live with the guy, and you\u2019re observant. How could you help it? Now he doesn\u2019t seem as smart to you as he did in the beginning.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-2798548203\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Where you had more experience of education, maybe you gently tried to help bring him up to speed.<\/p>\n<p>But a lot of things he continued to do in a way that just doesn\u2019t make sense to you. Now that you\u2019ve lived with his flaws for a while, you can\u2019t unsee them.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve downgraded him from sooooo smart to something less than that.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve seen that your husband has some drawbacks that you hadn\u2019t paid attention to.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe he keeps junk he\u2019ll never need again and claims it\u2019s valuable when you know it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps he\u2019s got a wicked temper that he doesn\u2019t bother to contain.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe he lost money on an investment, or overspends.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve noticed his shortcomings. And your husband has noticed that you don\u2019t approve of the way he does some things.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2593657622\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_You_are_Your_Husbands_Mirror\"><\/span>2. You are Your Husband\u2019s Mirror<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>When he looks into his wife-mirror, what he sees reflected back is not as shiny as what he used to see in your eyes.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, he sees a rather painful self-image there.<\/p>\n<p>So he started looking less.<\/p>\n<p>He started to be busy with something else&#8211;let\u2019s say work, or sports. Maybe he\u2019s always distracted with video games or his phone&#8211;anything to avoid the pain of seeing your disappointment in him.<\/p>\n<p>You aren\u2019t stupid, and you knew he was avoiding you.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes you get resentful that he\u2019s ignoring you. Who wouldn\u2019t?<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s lonely, and it hurts. It\u2019s not what you signed up for. He\u2019s withholding from you&#8211;his attention, his time and his affection.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_I_Still_Remember_What_That_Was_Like\"><\/span>3. I Still Remember What That Was Like<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Just a few years into my marriage, I was asking myself how something as good as our relationship had been could have gone so wrong so fast. I remember wondering, \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t my husband love me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He didn\u2019t want to spend time with me, didn\u2019t seem attracted to me and seemed to go out of his way to avoid doing the things that I wanted him to do.<\/p>\n<p>It was painful.<\/p>\n<p>But that was over 15 years ago, and now he can\u2019t get enough of me. He\u2019s sitting right next to me, even though I\u2019m writing on my laptop, just because he wants to be around me.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s how I turned it all around, and how you can too.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Pretend_That_You_Respect_Your_Husband\"><\/span>4. Pretend That You Respect Your Husband<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I know, right now that seems like a really tall order. Don\u2019t worry&#8211;I\u2019ll tell you a simple way to get started.<\/p>\n<p>I know he doesn\u2019t seem to deserve your respect. If you\u2019re anything like I was, you\u2019re thinking, \u201cbut I don\u2019t respect him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Consider pretending, in the spirit of \u201cfake it till you make it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I mean, wouldn\u2019t you prefer that you did respect him?<\/p>\n<p>Wouldn\u2019t that be better for him? And ultimately, wouldn\u2019t that be better for you?<\/p>\n<p>You might wonder why you would pretend about anything to your own husband. Shouldn\u2019t the two of you be open and honest?<\/p>\n<p>Consider this: If you think back to the beginning of the relationship, back when you thought he was so smart, you did respect him. You weren\u2019t pretending\u2014you felt admiration and trust.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Your_Husband_is_The_Same_Guy_Now_as_He_Was_When_You_Met\"><\/span>5. Your Husband is The Same Guy Now as He Was When You Met<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>All that\u2019s changed is your perspective. You\u2019ve been focused on what you don\u2019t like about him, and that\u2019s enlarged.<\/p>\n<p>So this is about going back to what was working, which is focusing on the things you appreciate about him, instead of the things that don\u2019t impress you.<\/p>\n<p>Because what you focus on increases.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a magical phrase that you can start using right away. This is an important part of treating him respectfully. Anyone can do this, including you.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>This phrase has the power to change absolutely everything. It\u2019s three words: \u201cI hear you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>That\u2019s it. Notice it\u2019s not, \u201cI hear you, but\u2026\u201d or, \u201cI hear you and I think\u2026\u201d or \u201cI hear you and let me tell you what I would do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s just listening to him. That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not agreeing or disagreeing. It\u2019s just bearing witness to his thoughts, his ideas, his words and his process.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t worry\u2014you won\u2019t be approving things that you don\u2019t approve of. Saying, \u201cI hear you,\u201d doesn\u2019t convey approval.<\/p>\n<p>But it is one powerful way to convey respect. Listening is a critical part of respect.<\/p>\n<p>If you say \u201cI hear you,\u201d and nothing else and let him talk as long as he wants tonight\u2014or even just for an hour&#8211;you\u2019ll be well on your way to seeing that he actually does love you.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Did_you_catch_that\"><\/span>6. Did you catch that?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I just said that your husband actually does love you.<\/p>\n<p>And if you decide to give him the respect that he deserves (he must deserve it because he\u2019s married to you and you wouldn\u2019t have married a loser) you\u2019ll see the evidence.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll see it in the way his face lights up when you come home.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll see it in the way that he comes home from work early just so he can spend time with you.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll see it in the way he makes bedroom eyes at you again, even if he hasn\u2019t in a long time.<\/p>\n<p>How can I be so sure?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been privileged to watch thousands of women transform their relationships. And I\u2019ve seen a pattern.<\/p>\n<p>When she brings the respect, he brings the love.<\/p>\n<p>And she stops feeling like her husband doesn\u2019t love her anymore, because she knows he does.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Being married to a man who was once affectionate and thoughtful, but isn\u2019t anymore, is painful and heartbreaking. I still remember what that was like. It hurts just thinking about it, even though that was years ago. But what if the underlying problem was something you could fix pretty quickly, once you knew how? Because\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7267,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-7265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Doesn&#039;t My Husband Love Me? [#1 Reason Why]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The real reason he\u2019s changed: I\u2019ll reveal the hidden habit that is squelching your husband\u2019s love for you\u2014and tell you how to get it all back.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/why-doesnt-my-husband-love-me\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Doesn&#039;t My Husband Love Me? 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