{"id":7511,"date":"2016-02-11T04:00:35","date_gmt":"2016-02-11T12:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=7511"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:35:09","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:35:09","slug":"laws-of-attraction-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/laws-of-attraction-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"The Law of Attraction in Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What you focus on increases.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s the law of attraction at its core, and it\u2019s my experience in my relationship too, and what I witness with my clients.<\/p>\n<p>When I repeatedly suggested my husband ask for a raise at work, what I was really saying was, \u201cYou don\u2019t make enough money.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, he stopped making money altogether.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s how good I am at manifesting what I focus on.<\/p>\n<p>You could say that was his decision and I just happened to be married to him, but when I changed it up to start focusing and talking about how he was a good provider, he started a very successful business.<\/p>\n<p>That was over a dozen years ago, and his business is still going strong.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been calling him Mr. Moneybags the entire time.<\/p>\n<p>That doesn\u2019t seem like a stretch at all now, but it sure did at first.<\/p>\n<p>It didn\u2019t take long for him to live up to my Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy (SFP).<\/p>\n<p>I created my SFP because I decided to focus on what I wanted instead of what I didn\u2019t want.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m just one example. I see women create the kind of relationship they dream about all the time by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/family\/archive\/2022\/06\/how-to-change-past-perception-positive-memories\/661240\/\">focusing on what they want<\/a> instead of what they don\u2019t want.<\/p>\n<p>But what about the other person\u2019s decisions, you might wonder. Don\u2019t they get a say about what\u2019s going to happen too?<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-2661528137\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Of course they do. But you have more influence than you think. In fact, you hold the key to how your husband or boyfriend will respond to you.<\/p>\n<p>Here are the steps to using the Law of Attraction to create what you want to experience in your love life:<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/laws-of-attraction-in-relationships\/#1_Find_your_complaint\" title=\"Find your complaint.\">Find your complaint.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/laws-of-attraction-in-relationships\/#2_Flip_your_complaint_upside_down\" title=\"Flip your complaint upside down.\">Flip your complaint upside down.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/laws-of-attraction-in-relationships\/#3_Start_saying_the_desire_or_the_Spouse_Fulfilling_Prophecy_out_loud_to_yourself_and_others\" title=\"Start saying the desire, or the Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy, out loud to yourself and others.\">Start saying the desire, or the Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy, out loud to yourself and others.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Find_your_complaint\"><\/span>1. Find your complaint.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Every unhappy wife or single woman I\u2019ve ever worked with has a complaint about men (i.e, they just want sex, there aren\u2019t any good ones, they don\u2019t want a relationship) or her man specifically (i.e., he\u2019s controlling, narcissistic or preoccupied).<\/p>\n<p>For her, the complaint is just how it is\u2014reality. She has no concept that what she\u2019s telling me is actually the reality she\u2019s created by focusing on it.<\/p>\n<p>I can understand because I remember feeling the same way before I learned how to apply the law of attraction for relationships.<\/p>\n<p>The good news is that your complaint is exactly what you need to get started with using the law of attraction.<\/p>\n<p>Whatever tumbles out of your mouth when I ask about what you don\u2019t like about your relationship (or lack thereof) is what you\u2019ve been attracting and creating.<\/p>\n<p>So to get started, write down your biggest complaint: He never wants to spend time with you. He\u2019s grumpy all the time. You never meet anyone you\u2019re interested in.<\/p>\n<p>Whatever you\u2019re having the most pain around\u2014that\u2019s where you want to start.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2372353570\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Flip_your_complaint_upside_down\"><\/span>2. Flip your complaint upside down.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Under every complaint is a hidden desire. What\u2019s yours?<\/p>\n<p>Is it that he would want to spend as much time with you as possible? Is it that he\u2019d be in a better mood? Is it that you\u2019d meet a man you\u2019re really interested in?<\/p>\n<p>Complaining is the lazy way to express your desire. Find your desire by putting it in the positive and writing it down.<\/p>\n<p>So if you\u2019ve done steps 1 and 2, you have written down both a complaint and a corresponding hidden desire.<\/p>\n<p>Mine would look like this:<\/p>\n<p>Complaint: He doesn\u2019t make enough money.<br \/>\nDesire: He\u2019s a good provider\u2014he\u2019s Mr. Moneybags.<\/p>\n<p>Careful that you don\u2019t put it in the negative, as in, \u201cfor him to stop earning so little money.\u201d That\u2019s just the complaint restated, and that\u2019s going to have you attracting more of the same\u2014so little money.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll know you\u2019ve arrived at a pure desire when you read what you\u2019ve written and you feel happy thinking about having exactly that.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Start_saying_the_desire_or_the_Spouse_Fulfilling_Prophecy_out_loud_to_yourself_and_others\"><\/span>3. Start saying the desire, or the Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy, out loud to yourself and others.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If you\u2019re in a relationship and wanting to have a more gratifying experience, you\u2019ll want to repeat your SFP to yourself and to him.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s going to feel funny to you when you first say it. That\u2019s a good sign, actually. It means you\u2019re uncomfortable because you\u2019re making a change.<\/p>\n<p>Things have to change if they are going to improve.<\/p>\n<p>Patricia was unwittingly using the law of attraction to create distance in her marriage by repeating the mantra, \u201cYou never want to spend time with me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She had focused on all the times her husband chose to do something other than spend time with her, and there were plenty. She was hurt and angry every time, and she couldn\u2019t understand why he would be so neglectful of his wife.<\/p>\n<p>She was convinced she had married the wrong guy, that he was just immature and <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/selfish-husband-the-cure-for-the-chronically-self-consumed-man\/\">selfish<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>When we spoke about it, Patricia began to see that she may have been contributing to the problem by affirming it with an SFP, and gathering evidence for her belief\u2014even though it wasn\u2019t serving her. At all.<\/p>\n<p>She decided her new SFP would be, \u201cI know you want to spend time with me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The next Saturday she was looking forward to spending the day with her husband. When her husband accepted an invite from a friend to go mountain biking that day instead, Patricia responded out of habit with her old mantra, \u201cYou never want to spend time with me!\u201d and left the room in a huff.<\/p>\n<p>But a few minutes later, Patricia realized that she was still creating the kind of relationship she didn\u2019t want instead of the kind that she did.<\/p>\n<p>She went back to talk to her husband and said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I got upset. I know you want to spend time with me. I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll figure it out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It felt like a crazy thing to say. She wondered if he would question her, since it felt like such a departure from reality. At least the one she had been focused on.<\/p>\n<p>She was shocked when, a few minutes later, her husband said that he had called his friend to tell him that he couldn\u2019t go mountain biking after all. \u201cI told him I wanted to spend the day with you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI had no idea it would work so fast,\u201d Patricia admitted. \u201cBut I\u2019m happy that it did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Focusing on what you want instead of what you don\u2019t want may take a little getting used to for you, too, but having the relationship you crave\u2014the kind that\u2019s exhilarating, vibrant and confident\u2014is so worth the effort.<\/p>\n<p>If you find yourself thinking it would never work in your situation because your relationship (or lack thereof) is so difficult, broken or troubled, consider changing that with a Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy.<\/p>\n<p>What will your new Spouse Fulfilling Prophecy be? Pretty soon, that will be your reality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What you focus on increases. That\u2019s the law of attraction at its core, and it\u2019s my experience in my relationship too, and what I witness with my clients. When I repeatedly suggested my husband ask for a raise at work, what I was really saying was, \u201cYou don\u2019t make enough money.\u201d Eventually, he stopped making\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/laws-of-attraction-in-relationships\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7531,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-7511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Laws of Attraction in Marriage [3 Powerful Techniques]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It starts with you! 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