{"id":7545,"date":"2016-02-25T04:00:05","date_gmt":"2016-02-25T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=7545"},"modified":"2025-11-06T22:30:43","modified_gmt":"2025-11-07T06:30:43","slug":"husband-not-attracted-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/","title":{"rendered":"My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most common problems I hear from wives is, \u201cMy husband is not attracted to me anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s always heartbreaking because I remember how lousy that felt.<\/p>\n<p>Like me, these women usually think the problem is either that she married the wrong guy or that her weight, her age, or her post-baby body has made her less beautiful.<\/p>\n<p>And it\u2019s painful to think you don\u2019t look good enough to get a pat on the butt or bedroom eyes anymore.<\/p>\n<p>But how she looks is simply not the issue. Nor is it that she married the wrong guy.<\/p>\n<p>Those weren\u2019t the problems in my marriage when my husband was acting repulsed instead of attracted to me.<\/p>\n<p>Something else entirely was going on, and it was a huge relief to finally discover it and get those butt pats and bedroom eyes back.<\/p>\n<p>The problem was actually pretty simple to fix and had so many other benefits for me.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what I did that got my husband to be ridiculously attracted to me again\u2026<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#1_I_Stopped_Acting_Like_His_Mother\" title=\" I Stopped Acting Like His Mother\"> I Stopped Acting Like His Mother<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#2_I_Became_His_Lover_Again\" title=\" I Became His Lover Again\"> I Became His Lover Again<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#3_I_Got_Out_of_His_Way_and_Decided_to_Trust_Him\" title=\" I Got Out of His Way and Decided to Trust Him\"> I Got Out of His Way and Decided to Trust Him<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_I_Stopped_Acting_Like_His_Mother\"><\/span>1) I Stopped Acting Like His Mother<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>As you already know, men are not sexually attracted to their mothers. And they aren\u2019t sexually attracted to women (even supermodels!) who act like their mothers, either.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, that was exactly who I had unwittingly become in the early years of our marriage: his mom.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t think it was so bad to buy his underwear or remind him not to forget his wallet or tell him that he was watching too much TV or that it was time to get some chores done.<\/p>\n<p>It seemed fine to me\u2014helpful, actually.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-2529514526\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I even joked with friends about it, making comments like, \u201cI have one child. He\u2019s 37.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t see anything wrong with that because I knew lots of other women who were the same way.<\/p>\n<p>As I kvetched with my friends, we all agreed that we had to treat our husbands like children because they acted like children.<\/p>\n<p>One friend told me how she had to inform her husband that there was a big building near their house where he could buy food. \u201cIt\u2019s called a grocery store,\u201d she told him.<\/p>\n<p>Another one had to tell her husband when it was time to get a haircut. She said she had to \u201clay down the law\u201d about it.<\/p>\n<p>Still another made all of her husband\u2019s doctor and dentist appointments, and woke him up to go to work&#8212;like a human alarm clock.<\/p>\n<p>So I figured taking care of my husband was just part of being a wife.<\/p>\n<p>But it wasn\u2019t long before he seemed to be avoiding me. And that really hurt.<\/p>\n<p>I felt lonely and rejected.<\/p>\n<p>In some ways, I wasn\u2019t very attracted to him either\u2013\u2013just as mothers aren\u2019t sexually attracted to their sons.<\/p>\n<p>I was also resentful about having to do everything for him. I wondered why he couldn\u2019t be more helpful.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2802235247\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_I_Became_His_Lover_Again\"><\/span>2) I Became His Lover Again<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Besides assuming I wasn\u2019t physically attractive, I also figured he had changed.<\/p>\n<p>But looking back now, I can see that I didn\u2019t act like his mom when we were dating.<\/p>\n<p>Back in those glory days, I was flirting, laughing at his jokes, smiling at him, thanking him for taking me out, and admiring him.<\/p>\n<p>And he couldn\u2019t keep his hands off of me.<\/p>\n<p>So maybe he wasn\u2019t the one who changed.<\/p>\n<p>I hadn\u2019t realized that acting like his mother and being his lover were mutually exclusive, but now I know that they are.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_I_Got_Out_of_His_Way_and_Decided_to_Trust_Him\"><\/span>3) I Got Out of His Way and Decided to Trust Him<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Even with this realization, I couldn\u2019t figure out how to resign from my maternal role in our marriage, even though I had volunteered for it.<\/p>\n<p>I thought that if I stopped being responsible for everything he would have holey underwear, never go to the doctor, watch too much TV, and let the trash pile up endlessly.<\/p>\n<p>But I chose to experiment anyway because I was so exhausted and lonely.<\/p>\n<p>He is a grown man, totally capable at work, so I had to believe there was a possibility that he could manage the things I\u2019d taken over\u2013\u2013even though it didn\u2019t seem like it to me at the time.<\/p>\n<p>So I decided I wouldn\u2019t do anything for him that he could do for himself.<\/p>\n<p>Sure enough, that\u2019s when my husband stepped up and took care of business like the grown man he is.<\/p>\n<p>Only, he didn\u2019t do it the way I would have done things.<\/p>\n<p>I was tempted to tell him why my way was better, but when I did, that just got me back into the dreaded mom role.<\/p>\n<p>What I really wanted was to be his lover again.<\/p>\n<p>So I stopped doing things for him and teaching him how to do them. I treated him like he didn\u2019t need any help.<\/p>\n<p>And a funny thing happened. He started to pat my butt again and make bedroom eyes at me.<\/p>\n<p>Now that I don\u2019t mother my husband anymore, he\u2019s back to stealing a kiss whenever he can. He\u2019s attracted to me again.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not just me. Thousands of women who have decided they\u2019d rather be their husband\u2019s lover than his mother have had the same experience of the passion coming back and being as hot as ever.<\/p>\n<p>Do you find yourself tempted to mother your husband? Is it worth the cost?<\/p>\n<p>What are you doing for him that he could be doing for himself? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most common problems I hear from wives is, \u201cMy husband is not attracted to me anymore.\u201d It\u2019s always heartbreaking because I remember how lousy that felt. Like me, these women usually think the problem is either that she married the wrong guy or that her weight, her age, or her post-baby body\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":16947,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[716],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-7545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-life-and-physical-intimacy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me | Laura Doyle<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Most people think this is about physical beauty when it\u2019s not. 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Here\u2019s the real problem and the simple solution that brings passion back in about two weeks.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-02-25T12:00:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-11-07T06:30:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/husband-not-attracted-to-me-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-02-25T12:00:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-11-07T06:30:43+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/\"},\"wordCount\":953,\"commentCount\":135,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/husband-not-attracted-to-me-1.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Sex Life &amp; Physical Intimacy\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/\",\"name\":\"My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me | Laura Doyle\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-not-attracted-to-me\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/husband-not-attracted-to-me-1.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-02-25T12:00:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-11-07T06:30:43+00:00\",\"description\":\"Most people think this is about physical beauty when it\u2019s not. 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