{"id":7870,"date":"2016-06-09T04:00:53","date_gmt":"2016-06-09T11:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=7870"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:35:00","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:35:00","slug":"what-men-want-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"What Men Want in a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What do men want most from the women they love?<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re asking yourself that, it\u2019s probably because your guy seems grumpy, distant or depressed. Maybe he\u2019s all three.<\/p>\n<p>Early on in my marriage, when everything was a struggle, I thought I was a pretty good wife.<\/p>\n<p>And since my marriage was miserable, that meant that he was the problem.<\/p>\n<p>But now I realize I was looking at everything through my female eyes, which meant I didn\u2019t understand his perspective. At all.<\/p>\n<p>Figuring out what my husband wanted and what made him feel loved blew open the whole mystery for me.<\/p>\n<p>It was like traveling to another country and wondering why everyone was so hostile, and then learning that waving \u201chello\u201d is their gesture for \u201cdrop dead.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now that I know what makes men feel loved, my marriage is sweet and fun.<\/p>\n<p>It was easier than I thought. I was making it too hard, until I discovered these simple habits.<\/p>\n<p>Here are 5 relationship hacks that I wish every woman knew, but most don\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>These are the things your man really wants, and will inspire him to desire, cherish and adore you 10X over.<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#1_Respect_Him_Which_is_Not_What_You_Think\" title=\"Respect Him (Which is Not What You Think)\">Respect Him (Which is Not What You Think)<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#2_Receive_Graciously\" title=\"Receive Graciously\">Receive Graciously<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#3_Be_Pleasable\" title=\"Be Pleasable\">Be Pleasable<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#4_Show_Appreciation\" title=\"Show Appreciation\">Show Appreciation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#5_Seduce_Him\" title=\"Seduce Him\">Seduce Him<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Respect_Him_Which_is_Not_What_You_Think\"><\/span>1. Respect Him (Which is Not What You Think)<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Women have a different view of respect than men do.<\/p>\n<p>Women tend to think they\u2019re being respectful when they\u2019re considerate.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-261068805\"><p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<!--HubSpot Call-to-Action Code --><span class=\"hs-cta-wrapper\" id=\"hs-cta-wrapper-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\"><span class=\"hs-cta-node hs-cta-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\" id=\"hs-cta-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\"><!--[if lte IE 8]>\n\n<div id=\"hs-cta-ie-element\"><\/div>\n\n<![endif]--><a href=\"https:\/\/cta-redirect.hubspot.com\/cta\/redirect\/21708589\/72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\" ><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"hs-cta-img\" id=\"hs-cta-img-72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969\" style=\"border-width:0px;\" src=\"https:\/\/no-cache.hubspot.com\/cta\/default\/21708589\/72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969.png\"  alt=\"Free Webinar\"\/><\/a><\/span><script charset=\"utf-8\" src=\"https:\/\/js.hscta.net\/cta\/current.js\"><\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\"> hbspt.cta.load(21708589, '72e5b617-d76c-41d0-9b4d-efd92801e969', {\"useNewLoader\":\"true\",\"region\":\"na1\"}); <\/script><\/span><!-- end HubSpot Call-to-Action Code -->\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>We think it\u2019s respectful to clean up so we don\u2019t leave a mess for him, or to reheat his dinner when he comes home late, or to pick up his dry cleaning when we\u2019re out.<\/p>\n<p>Even as I write that with my female brain, I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThose things seem pretty respectful!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But here\u2019s the rub: all of that completely misses the respect mark for men.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, it\u2019s nice to do those things. But it\u2019s not respect, which is like oxygen to men.<\/p>\n<p>And unless you know <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-respect-your-husband\/\">what respect looks like to a man<\/a>, you can easily suffocate your husband or boyfriend without even realizing it.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d rather you treat him with what he sees as respect, even if it meant you skipped all those things.<\/p>\n<p>This is where the trouble starts, because if, while you\u2019re reheating his dinner, you contradict what he just said, criticize him, roll your eyes at him, interrupt him, try to teach him how to do something or point out his mistake, he\u2019s likely to get defensive.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s because you were just disrespectful.<\/p>\n<p>And you didn\u2019t even realize it.<\/p>\n<p>You have no idea because you didn\u2019t raise your voice or call him names. You\u2019re not trying to upset him.<\/p>\n<p>You were just being logical, or helpful, or practical. But in the process, you questioned his competence. And he reacted badly, and you can\u2019t understand why.<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s likely to cause a big breakdown because here you are serving him dinner, and he\u2019s barking at you or grunting or ignoring you.<\/p>\n<p>Seems very inconsiderate of him. Seems like he\u2019s not respecting you.<\/p>\n<p>So unless you know that even though he\u2019s a big, strong man, you just hurt him\u2014just as much as it would hurt you if he said, \u201cI don\u2019t think I love you\u201d\u2013\u2013his irritation seems unwarranted.<\/p>\n<p>To give him the respect he wants, demonstrate that you have faith in his capabilities. Appreciate his thinking. Let him know\u2014in actions as well as words\u2014that you think he\u2019s smart.<\/p>\n<p>He really is. You picked him to be with, and you wouldn\u2019t have picked an idiot.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-1662354267\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Receive_Graciously\"><\/span>2. Receive Graciously<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Your man wants to know that he can make your life better&#8211;that he can contribute to your happiness.<\/p>\n<p>He doesn\u2019t really care if you ever do anything for him (except respect his thinking and competency).<\/p>\n<p>But he wants to be able to lighten your load, make you smile, make you laugh, protect you and give you the things you want.<\/p>\n<p>He wants to be able to compliment you and know that you received it. Even if it\u2019s that you look beautiful when you just cleaned the toilet.<\/p>\n<p>If you receive his extravagant gift that you could have lived without, his offers to take you out to dinner even though you already defrosted the salmon, his compliments even though they make you uncomfortable\u2014he\u2019ll be getting so much of what he wants from you, he\u2019ll be ridiculously happy.<\/p>\n<p>And with all his help, gifts and compliments, so will you.<\/p>\n<p>Such a deal, right?<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Be_Pleasable\"><\/span>3. Be Pleasable<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Okay, so I made that word up, but I can\u2019t think of a better way to describe the quality that men want in a relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Since men are so driven to please their women, if he feels he can\u2019t succeed, he\u2019s going to start to feel useless and bad about himself.<\/p>\n<p>He needs someone to please.<\/p>\n<p>If he buys you a watch and you say that it\u2019s not the kind of watch you would wear, or if, when he trims the trees and bushes, you say he trampled the begonias, or if you argue with him when he praises your lasagna, you\u2019re not pleasable.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, he can\u2019t make you happy. And he considers that his job.<\/p>\n<p>The quickest solution is to seriously focus on making yourself happy.<\/p>\n<p>Do things that make it so you can\u2019t stop smiling.<\/p>\n<p>Consider the possibility that you would stop cleaning up the mess, reheating his dinner and picking up his dry cleaning if that helps you free up time for frivolous fun.<\/p>\n<p>None of that stuff is as important to him as knowing he pleased you\u2014especially if it leaves you frazzled.<\/p>\n<p>When you get happy, he feels proud and happy, too.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why that phrase, \u201cHappy wife, happy life,\u201d is so universal.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Show_Appreciation\"><\/span>4. Show Appreciation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Even if your husband or boyfriend seems like a gigantic disappointment right now, using this hack will be like getting a new husband.<\/p>\n<p>Let him know you appreciate the way he gets the kids to behave at dinner, even if it\u2019s old news.<\/p>\n<p>Appreciate what a great job he does with the trash. Be grateful it\u2019s all taken care of and you don\u2019t have to worry about it.<\/p>\n<p>Let him know how happy you are that he made dinner, moved the laundry to the dryer, changed a diaper, fixed the WiFi, or changed the batteries in the remote.<\/p>\n<p>Even if he\u2019s done it for years and you\u2019ve never expressed your gratitude, and it\u2019s his job and you do it way more than he does, your man wants to feel appreciated.<\/p>\n<p>And why not?<\/p>\n<p>If he didn\u2019t do all that stuff, you\u2019d have to do it.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Seduce_Him\"><\/span>5. Seduce Him<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Of course, your man wants sex, too. Unless he hasn\u2019t been feeling respected.<\/p>\n<p>Respect is the best aphrodisiac for men. So if it\u2019s gone missing completely, start with that one. You can\u2019t have passion without oxygen.<\/p>\n<p>Once he has oxygen, he\u2019ll be more life-like in the bedroom.<\/p>\n<p>But even then, he doesn\u2019t want to feel pressured to perform at a particular time.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d rather be teased, or get some visual stimulation that might lead to feeling excited.<\/p>\n<p>You are visually stimulating, and your voice and your scent and your touch are stimulating too.<\/p>\n<p>And when you use those things to suggest that you\u2019re willing, that you\u2019re receptive, that\u2019s awfully attractive and exhilarating.<\/p>\n<p>It can also be scarier for you than just initiating things more directly with words or action. It\u2019s riskier for you to put on your skimpy outfit, because he could just walk on by.<\/p>\n<p>You could feel rejected.<\/p>\n<p>But the upside is that you\u2019re issuing your invitation in the most feminine possible way\u2014with no pressure and lots of excitement.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re creating emotional safety by being open but not demanding. That\u2019s what he really wants.<\/p>\n<p>Another benefit of this approach is that you will never feel more desirable as when your man responds to your implied suggestion with enthusiasm and vigor.<\/p>\n<p>Just as with all the other relationship hacks, the beauty of the system is that when your man is getting what he wants in the relationship, he shows up like the man you fell in love with.<\/p>\n<p>The one you thought was smart, who couldn\u2019t do enough to make you happy, who loves to see you smile, the one you appreciated, and who turned you on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do men want most from the women they love? If you\u2019re asking yourself that, it\u2019s probably because your guy seems grumpy, distant or depressed. Maybe he\u2019s all three. Early on in my marriage, when everything was a struggle, I thought I was a pretty good wife. And since my marriage was miserable, that meant\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7884,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-7870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What Men Want in a Relationship [Top 5 Irrresistable Traits]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You&#039;re not a mind reader, but this is the next best thing! I share a few simple life hacks about what men really want in a relationship.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Men Want in a Relationship [Top 5 Irrresistable Traits]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You&#039;re not a mind reader, but this is the next best thing! I share a few simple life hacks about what men really want in a relationship.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-06-09T11:00:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:35:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"What Men Want in a Relationship\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-06-09T11:00:53+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:35:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/\"},\"wordCount\":1434,\"commentCount\":77,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Love &amp; Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/\",\"name\":\"What Men Want in a Relationship [Top 5 Irrresistable Traits]\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/what-men-want-in-a-relationship.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-06-09T11:00:53+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:35:00+00:00\",\"description\":\"You're not a mind reader, but this is the next best thing! 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