{"id":8059,"date":"2016-08-11T04:00:18","date_gmt":"2016-08-11T11:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8059"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:56","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:56","slug":"can-you-be-a-feminine-feminist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-you-be-a-feminine-feminist\/","title":{"rendered":"Can You Be Feminine and Feminist?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What if you want to be able to have every opportunity to do your life\u2019s work and earn what you\u2019re worth for doing it, but you don\u2019t want to be identified as an angry woman who rails against the patriarchy and doesn\u2019t shave her armpits?<\/p>\n<p>Should you call yourself a feminist?<\/p>\n<p>And what if you also want to wear sparkly necklaces and be womanly while you\u2019re kicking butt in your career? Is that going to make you less competitive in the work world?<\/p>\n<p>In other words, what if you want to be feminine and soft, yet still fulfill your earning and career goals?<\/p>\n<p>Can that be done? And if so, how? What does that even look like?<\/p>\n<p>In my experience, it\u2019s not only possible, it\u2019s the only way to truly succeed&#8211;if by succeed, you also include having a gratifying relationship.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m gonna assume that\u2019s what you mean, because who doesn\u2019t want that?<\/p>\n<p>Here are 3 ways to flourish as a feminine feminist:<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-you-be-a-feminine-feminist\/#1_Honor_Your_Feminine_Gifts\" title=\"Honor Your Feminine Gifts\">Honor Your Feminine Gifts<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-you-be-a-feminine-feminist\/#2_Stop_Managing_When_Work_is_Done\" title=\"Stop Managing When Work is Done\">Stop Managing When Work is Done<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-you-be-a-feminine-feminist\/#3_Express_Your_Desires_Instead_of_Being_Assertive_or_Complaining\" title=\"Express Your Desires Instead of Being Assertive or Complaining\">Express Your Desires Instead of Being Assertive or Complaining<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Honor_Your_Feminine_Gifts\"><\/span>1. Honor Your Feminine Gifts<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If you try to succeed by acting like a man&#8211;even though you don\u2019t know how to be a man&#8211;that\u2019s going to be stressful.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s hard to succeed when you\u2019re a round peg in a square hole. You can\u2019t even be yourself.<\/p>\n<p>That can make you cranky, and maybe even start to seem like that angry, unpleasant type of feminist we\u2019ve all heard so much about.<\/p>\n<p>As a woman, you\u2019re going to show up differently in the workplace than a man would because you are different, and that\u2019s often a benefit to your clients or your employer.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine if Ella Fitzgerald had tried to sing like Louis Armstrong. She wouldn\u2019t have been able to do it very well, but she would have robbed us all of the pleasure of her gifts as a singer, which were completely different than Louis\u2019s awesome pipes.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-1769049453\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-17020\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>You\u2019re different than the men at work too, and I don\u2019t just mean your size and shape.<\/p>\n<p>I mean you as a woman have unique gifts to contribute, like emotional brilliance, for example.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re better at knowing how you feel and expressing it than men are.<\/p>\n<p>That emotional brilliance can give you an edge in nurturing the relationships with your team, vendors and clients.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a great quality for a leader to have.<\/p>\n<p>So instead of just acting like a smaller, curvier man, celebrate your own feminine strengths and use them to lead the project or the team to the finish line.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-1738095884\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Stop_Managing_When_Work_is_Done\"><\/span>2. Stop Managing When Work is Done<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>One of the best things that ever happened to me professionally was getting married.<\/p>\n<p>I recommend it for all working women.<\/p>\n<p>It gives me so many advantages in the work world, including having another great mind to help me analyze and address challenges and make decisions; financial backing that helps me take more risks, a sounding board, an admirer when I feel discouraged, and hugs and kisses when everything goes kablooey.<\/p>\n<p>My husband also published my first book and shoots and edits all of my videos. So the list of extraordinary benefits goes on and on.<\/p>\n<p>But before I realized I had feminine gifts, being married didn\u2019t seem that advantageous, professionally.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s because my husband seemed hostile and distant most of the time.<\/p>\n<p>The problem was that I was trying to manage my husband like a project or a team member at work, and husbands don\u2019t like to be managed.<\/p>\n<p>They resist it mightily, in my experience.<\/p>\n<p>So learning to turn off managerial Laura when the working day was done and put on my soft, feminine hat when I was with my husband was incredibly helpful for me personally and professionally.<\/p>\n<p>It restored the connection in my marriage, which resulted in me showing up for my work with so much more to give because I stopped wasting all my energy on a struggling relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Shortly after I had gotten the hang of changing my hat, I became a New York Times bestselling author, and went on national TV shows like Dateline, Today, The View and Good Morning America.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s how much it helped me professionally to take off my work hat when the working day was done.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Express_Your_Desires_Instead_of_Being_Assertive_or_Complaining\"><\/span>3. Express Your Desires Instead of Being Assertive or Complaining<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>When Sheryl Sandburg famously told everyone they should stop calling little girls \u201cbossy\u201d because it would inhibit them from asserting themselves as leaders in the future, I winced.<\/p>\n<p>First of all, I didn\u2019t like being told what to do, even if it\u2019s about not calling people names. Who does?<\/p>\n<p>It also sounded a lot like a complaint, and implied that telling other people what to do has something to do with leadership.<\/p>\n<p>It doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody is inspiring when they complain or tell you what to do\u2014sorry, Sheryl.<\/p>\n<p>The most effective way to get a group of people to work vigorously toward a common goal is with inspiration.<\/p>\n<p>One great way to inspire people is by tapping into your desires and expressing them purely\u2014with no criticism, control or complaint.<\/p>\n<p>And since desire is the seat of feminine power, learning to express your desires in a way that inspires those around you could just change the world.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what I mean.<\/p>\n<p>Assertiveness says, \u201cI\u2019ve been waiting for your report for over a week, and it\u2019s holding up this project. I need you to get it done by tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Desire says, \u201cI\u2019m excited to deliver the finished project because I think the client is going to love it. Your part of the project is so valuable, and I would love to see your recommendations.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Which one is more inspiring?<\/p>\n<p>Being feminine at work means speaking from your desires instead of telling people what to do.<\/p>\n<p>A feminist might say, \u201cIt\u2019s unfair that women don\u2019t make equal pay for equal work and we have to put an end to that!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A feminine feminist might express a desire, \u201cI\u2019m committed to doing a great job, and I would love to make $XX (what I deserve) for that work.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It takes a little focus at first, but once you get the hang of it, you\u2019ll love how it feels to be a feminine feminist.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What if you want to be able to have every opportunity to do your life\u2019s work and earn what you\u2019re worth for doing it, but you don\u2019t want to be identified as an angry woman who rails against the patriarchy and doesn\u2019t shave her armpits? Should you call yourself a feminist? And what if you\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/can-you-be-a-feminine-feminist\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8061,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[710],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-intimacy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Can You Be Feminine and Feminist?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you want to be feminine and still fulfill your work goals, here are 3 ways to flourish as a feminine feminist.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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