{"id":8117,"date":"2016-09-22T04:00:47","date_gmt":"2016-09-22T11:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8117"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:54","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:54","slug":"control-freak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/control-freak\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions Of A Former Control Freak"},"content":{"rendered":"

Empowered Wife Courtney
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

The Not-So-Pleasant Past<\/strong><\/p>\n

I remember it like it was yesterday.<\/p>\n

I was rushing around the house, trying to get ready for work. The baby was asleep, my husband was asleep, and it looked like a bomb had gone off in the house.<\/p>\n

So basically, it was a normal day.<\/p>\n

However, on this particular morning, I was so frustrated with the state of our home that I decided to do something about it.<\/p>\n

There are so many things I could have done: left a sweet note, actually cleaned up part of the house myself, or expressed a desire for a house-cleaner.<\/p>\n

But instead, in a fit of rage, I took the Xbox controllers to work with me–in the trunk of my car. <\/p>\n

That was obviously the wrong thing to do. But here\u2019s why it seemed like a good idea at the time: since my husband was a stay-at-home dad, it made sense to me that he was also the house-cleaner. So when I saw what I thought was Xbox taking over his life, I figured that taking the controllers with me was the way to get him to clean.<\/p>\n

If he can\u2019t play video games, he won\u2019t have anything else to do, and that will motivate him to get the house into tip-top-shape,<\/em> I reasoned.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t have been more wrong.<\/p>\n

The house did not get any cleaner. But my marriage did get more tense and stressful.<\/p>\n

I Decided To Try A New Way<\/h3>\n

The story of the Xbox controllers is just one of many ways I exercised complete control over my husband.<\/p>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

From taking his debit card to complaining about what he wore, I was your typical controlling wife.<\/p>\n

After six years of marriage, it wasn\u2019t working anymore.<\/p>\n

My controlling ways had put a huge wall between us, and the man I was once gaga for now felt like my roommate. It was painful and tedious.<\/p>\n

Everything changed for me when I found Laura Doyle\u2019s work and I decided to try The Six Intimacy Skills for myself.<\/p>\n

I remember reading her books and feeling like it was nearly impossible for me to make such dramatic changes to the way I thought, spoke, and acted.<\/p>\n

But, I wanted a happier marriage and a happier life. I was willing to give it a shot.<\/p>\n

Of the six skills, relinquishing control was definitely the hardest one for me to tackle.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a self-professed neat freak who loves to organize and schedule. When things didn\u2019t look the way I wanted them to, my default reaction was to blame others or try to get them to do things my way and in my time.<\/p>\n

So instead of telling my husband what to do, I tried the concept of duct tape. Every time I wanted to chime in about what he should do or when he should do it, I reminded myself to slap on the tape and keep my thoughts to myself.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been so quiet in my life!<\/p>\n

But what came of it was remarkable; by being quiet, I gave myself the room to actually consider my thoughts before blurting them out.<\/p>\n

I had time to dig deeper into what I was being controlling about–like why I thought it was so important that my house be neat and clean at any given moment.<\/p>\n

And why was I so hell-bent on berating my husband if he didn\u2019t do as good of a job as I thought he had time for?<\/p>\n

Deeper Realizations Came Rushing At Me<\/p>\n

Laura teaches that we control things when we are afraid.<\/p>\n

While I couldn\u2019t quite grasp that concept at first, the more I used duct tape and allowed myself room to think, the more I got in touch with my feelings of fear.<\/p>\n

I was afraid that if my husband didn\u2019t clean the house just right, that I was going to be perceived as a terrible wife\/mother\/human being.<\/p>\n

I so strongly tied my self-worth with the outside appearance of my life that I was creating huge problems where there didn\u2019t need to be.<\/p>\n

Gradually, I let go of control.<\/p>\n

Gone were the cleaning schedules and the \u201clittle reminders\u201d that I thought were oh-so-helpful.
\nInstead, I learned to let my inner Girl of Fun and Light come out, and actually looked forward to coming home at night after work.<\/p>\n

The more I practiced relinquishing control, the more I learned that the world wouldn\u2019t fall apart if things didn\u2019t go according to my plans.<\/p>\n

I grew to enjoy my kid\u2019s company a lot more than I previously had.<\/p>\n

I began to see my husband for the intelligent adult that he truly is, and not the overgrown man-child I always made him out to be.<\/p>\n

Some amazing things have happened in my life as a result of relinquishing control over my husband.<\/p>\n

He bought us our first home when I thought we\u2019d never be able to afford it, all because I trusted him.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been able to get back in touch with my passion for writing because of the support my husband has shown me.<\/p>\n

Never would I have gotten that support from him if I was still nagging him on a daily basis to do the chores.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m happier. I feel more peace and contentment than I ever have before.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not to say I get it right every time, though.<\/p>\n

Just the other day, I found myself asking all kinds of questions relating to his work schedule. Eventually, after feeling frustrated with his answers, I came clean.<\/p>\n

I admitted that I was afraid we were going to have a hard time financially if he didn\u2019t work very much. I also apologized for being controlling, and admitted that my fear was causing me to be that way.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, I married an amazing man who instantly acknowledged my fear and assured me that things were going to be fine.<\/p>\n

If nothing else, that\u2019s the biggest takeaway for me when it comes to relinquishing control. No matter how stressed or frenzied I feel, I can remind myself that it will be ok–that it\u2019s already ok.<\/p>\n

Even if my husband plays Xbox every now and then.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Empowered Wife Courtney The Not-So-Pleasant Past I remember it like it was yesterday. I was rushing around the house, trying to get ready for work. The baby was asleep, my husband was asleep, and it looked like a bomb had gone off in the house. So basically, it was a normal day. However, on this\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12388,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nConfessions Of A Former Control Freak<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/control-freak\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Confessions Of A Former Control Freak\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Empowered Wife Courtney The Not-So-Pleasant Past I remember it like it was yesterday. 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