{"id":8169,"date":"2016-11-03T04:00:20","date_gmt":"2016-11-03T11:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8169"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:51","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:51","slug":"is-there-hope-for-my-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/is-there-hope-for-my-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Is There Hope for My Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re asking yourself if there\u2019s hope for your marriage, it means you\u2019re going through a lot of heartache. After all, no one asks that about a marriage that\u2019s full of hand-holding and sweet nothings.<\/p>\n<p>That question only comes up when you\u2019re incredibly hurt and angry, and you\u2019ve been feeling that way for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>Even though it was long ago, I still remember feeling that way, and it was lousy.<\/p>\n<p>I remember thinking there was no way things were going to improve and it was completely hopeless because he was not going to change.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, I was wrong. Things could improve, and they did&#8211;beyond my wildest dreams.<\/p>\n<p>And wouldn\u2019t you know it&#8211;I was the one who had the power all along, just like Dorothy.<\/p>\n<p>But what about your situation?<\/p>\n<p>Is there hope for your marriage? Here are 4 questions to help you definitively know&#8211;right now.&#8221;<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/is-there-hope-for-my-marriage\/#1_Are_you_a_wife\" title=\"Are you a wife?\">Are you a wife?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/is-there-hope-for-my-marriage\/#2_Do_you_identify_with_doing_any_of_the_things_on_this_top_10_list\" title=\"Do you identify with doing any of the things on this top 10 list?\">Do you identify with doing any of the things on this top 10 list?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/is-there-hope-for-my-marriage\/#3_Is_this_the_first_time_youve_ever_heard_of_The_Six_Intimacy_Skills%E2%84%A2\" title=\"Is this the first time you\u2019ve ever heard of The Six Intimacy Skills\u2122?\">Is this the first time you\u2019ve ever heard of The Six Intimacy Skills\u2122?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/is-there-hope-for-my-marriage\/#4_Have_you_been_mentally_preparing_to_leave_your_husband_for_a_while_just_in_case_it_comes_to_that\" title=\"Have you been mentally preparing to leave your husband for a while, just in case it comes to that?\">Have you been mentally preparing to leave your husband for a while, just in case it comes to that?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Are_you_a_wife\"><\/span>1. Are you a wife?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If you answered yes to this question, I have great news&#8211;hope just scored a point. So far, there is every reason to be optimistic that your marriage can not only be saved, it can become vibrant and happy again.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s because women are the keepers of the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re the ones with all the power to make it playful and passionate, or tense and distant. I wouldn\u2019t have believed it myself, but I\u2019ve experienced it and seen it with thousands of other women.<\/p>\n<p>For the first seven years of my marriage, I chose to be tense and distant because I didn\u2019t know any better.<\/p>\n<p>Then, once I learned a thing or two about a thing or two, I started choosing to be playful and passionate all the time. And that\u2019s how it\u2019s been for the last 20 years.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-745853723\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-17020\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I mean, who wouldn\u2019t set her marriage to awesome if she had the choice, right? I just had no idea where that switch was, or that there was such a switch. And that was demoralizing.<\/p>\n<p>I know this may sound absurd, but you also control that switch because you\u2019re a woman. That\u2019s true even if your relationship is in crisis, like a separation, an affair or a pending divorce.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re more powerful than you realize. And so far, based on question #1, there is hope for your marriage to be amazing.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s move on to the next question.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2400414580\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Do_you_identify_with_doing_any_of_the_things_on_this_top_10_list\"><\/span>2. Do you identify with doing any of the things on this top 10 list?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Go check out <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/top-10-ways-to-control-your-husband\/\">the list<\/a>. I\u2019ll wait.<\/p>\n<p>If you relate to some of those behaviors, it\u2019s such good news because that means you\u2019ve just found a major source of conflict and exhaustion in your marriage, which you have all the power to eliminate.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re anything like me, you didn\u2019t realize that you were doing those things.<\/p>\n<p>I thought I was just being helpful. I didn\u2019t realize I was doing major damage to our connection and romance, and therefore to my optimism about the future of my marriage.<\/p>\n<p>But I was. Unwittingly, yes. But it was heartbreaking because it made my husband seem like the biggest jerk, the worst loser-pants, and the least-caring husband on the planet. I even had him <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/husband-with-a-mental-illness\/\">assessed for a mental illness and he had one<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p>I wasn\u2019t surprised. That\u2019s why I thought I had to control everything. Who wouldn\u2019t?<\/p>\n<p>But for now, take heart, because if you answered yes to question #2, there is so much hope for your marriage. For your whole life, really.<\/p>\n<p>Next question:<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Is_this_the_first_time_youve_ever_heard_of_The_Six_Intimacy_Skills%E2%84%A2\"><\/span>3. Is this the first time you\u2019ve ever heard of The Six Intimacy Skills\u2122?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Even after I realized that I was contributing to the problem in my relationship&#8211;which was shocking&#8211;I couldn\u2019t stop wrecking the intimacy between us at first. I just didn\u2019t know how.<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, I figured out a system that helped me stop micro-managing, controlling, complaining and criticizing. And if you decide you want to save your marriage, you can stop those unpleasant habits, too.<\/p>\n<p>If your answer to this question is, \u201cHave I ever heard of the what?!?\u201d, that means you\u2019ve been missing critical, life-changing information: The Six Intimacy Skills, which show you how to naturally attract your man\u2019s time, attention and affection.<\/p>\n<p>One great fringe benefit of practicing the Intimacy Skills is that I like myself a lot better now that I don\u2019t screech with hostility or repeat myself endlessly.<\/p>\n<p>Since no one had ever showed me an alternative to screeching and nagging before, I just did what I saw dear old mom doing\u2026and she\u2019s divorced.<\/p>\n<p>I never even realized that there were Intimacy Skills, or that I needed to know them to have a good relationship. I thought I would just know.<\/p>\n<p>It wouldn\u2019t be your fault if you couldn\u2019t make a good omelet if no one had ever shown you how, right?<\/p>\n<p>If no one ever taught you the Intimacy Skills, then there is a big, bright light at the end of the tunnel now that you\u2019ve found them.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, there\u2019s a world of hope for your situation.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Have_you_been_mentally_preparing_to_leave_your_husband_for_a_while_just_in_case_it_comes_to_that\"><\/span>4. Have you been mentally preparing to leave your husband for a while, just in case it comes to that?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If this question is a yes for you, I can sure relate. It\u2019s another hidden reason that your marriage feels so hard right now.<\/p>\n<p>For years I was on the verge of bolting from my marriage, because I thought that\u2019s how I could stay safe. It wasn\u2019t&#8211;I was just making it impossible for my marriage to be peaceful and connected.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t know any better. I thought I should take precautions and plan for the worst. Now I can see how much harm that did.<\/p>\n<p>It made us both defensive because there was always the threat of a divorce hanging over us. Nobody is at their best when they\u2019re defensive.<\/p>\n<p>So one huge improvement to the prospects for my marriage was deciding to go all in. Finally, when that threat of splitting was gone, we could both relax, breath and even laugh together.<\/p>\n<p>You probably didn\u2019t realize that thinking about hitting the eject button was causing so much heartache in your marriage, but it definitely is.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s terrifying to know that your spouse might leave you, and if you\u2019re the one who is afraid of getting left, you know just what I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n<p>Even if your husband is the one who\u2019s got you scared that your marriage is ending and you answered yes to the questions above, then there\u2019s still a lot of hope for your marriage.<\/p>\n<p>I know what I\u2019m saying is hard to believe. Maybe there are even special circumstances that you worry may make your relationship hopeless&#8211;you might worry your situation includes a deal breaker.<\/p>\n<p>I get it. What can I possibly know about your situation? I don\u2019t. You\u2019re the expert on your own life.<\/p>\n<p>But with all the time, heart and energy you\u2019ve already invested in your relationship, I hate to see you end it five minutes before the miracle.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, consider experimenting with The Six Intimacy Skills and make your marriage a glorious success.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019re asking yourself if there\u2019s hope for your marriage, it means you\u2019re going through a lot of heartache. After all, no one asks that about a marriage that\u2019s full of hand-holding and sweet nothings. That question only comes up when you\u2019re incredibly hurt and angry, and you\u2019ve been feeling that way for a long\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/is-there-hope-for-my-marriage\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8171,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[709],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-and-separation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is There Hope for My Marriage? 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