{"id":8366,"date":"2017-01-12T04:00:49","date_gmt":"2017-01-12T12:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8366"},"modified":"2024-05-28T11:06:38","modified_gmt":"2024-05-28T18:06:38","slug":"my-husband-my-best-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-my-best-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"From a Crippling Crisis to Best Friends Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

Angie, Empowered Wife<\/em><\/p>\n

In the spring of 2001 my marriage was in a very bad place.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d just had the worst fight of our six-year marriage and my husband took our son and left, saying he could provide a better life for him. I collapsed onto the kitchen floor sobbing.<\/p>\n

We were lucky that my parents helped us have an intervention that night, and we both committed to trying again.<\/p>\n

I came across The Surrendered Wife online after typing \u201cHusband and Wife Games\u201d in the browser.<\/p>\n

I was looking for something to help us connect better. I read the free chapter and recognized my controlling mother instantly (sorry, mom), printed the free chapter and gave it to her the first chance I could.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the subtitle of the book, \u201cA Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with a Man\u201d did resonate with me. I wanted that!<\/p>\n

I read the book in days. I saw immediate improvements in my marriage, but I realized I had a problem.<\/p>\n

I needed further help to implement the principles. I needed girlfriends to talk to, so I reached out to Laura for support and started a Surrendered Wife Circle in August 2001 to help women like me who were seeking advice to strengthen or save their marriages.<\/p>\n

Something that Laura’s book taught me was the difference in a good guy versus a bad guy.
\nI had been surrendering for about a year when a series of events sent me spiraling into depression. Some repressed memories were coming to the surface about the sexual abuse I had endured in my early teen years.<\/p>\n

Because I had restored trust and created a peaceful marriage by using the Intimacy Skills\u2122 in Laura’s book, I was able to talk to my husband about the twenty-two year-old secret I had been keeping.<\/p>\n

I don’t think my earlier marriage would have survived such a trauma because of the strain between us. With his support, I was able to get the help I needed.<\/p>\n

When I first read The Surrendered Wife, I tried to turn control of the finances over to my husband and because of the strain in our marriage it didn’t go very well. It took me another three years of surrendering and creating trust and peace in my marriage before I tried it again.<\/p>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

He has been doing them ever since and it inspired him to take the leap into something he has always wanted to do: ranching.<\/p>\n

That has taken a lot of trust on my part because ranching doesn’t pay right away. It has taken us several years of building up our herd to be able to put some money back in our pockets. It’s been scary, but I trust him fully to provide for us. He is the hardest working man I know.<\/p>\n

Another lesson I have learned along the way is to beat the drum of what I like and want to see in my husband.<\/p>\n

I use to stew on all that he had done wrong, which I vented about in the Surrendered Circle.
\nOne day a wise friend told me I was setting my husband up to fail by focusing on all the stuff I didn’t like.<\/p>\n

I had to get my ego out of the way to hear that message and, when I did, I realized I needed to focus on all the stuff I did like about my husband.<\/p>\n

It was hard at first. All I could come up with was that he was a good provider and a hard worker for our family.<\/p>\n

But that was all it took because, as I beat the drum about that, I started noticing other little things I loved and admired and respected about my husband.<\/p>\n

Fifteen years later, my marriage is stronger than ever. We just had our twenty-second anniversary. He tells me all the time that I am his best friend, and I feel that more and more every day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Angie, Empowered Wife In the spring of 2001 my marriage was in a very bad place. We\u2019d just had the worst fight of our six-year marriage and my husband took our son and left, saying he could provide a better life for him. I collapsed onto the kitchen floor sobbing. We were lucky that my\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8370,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[709],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-and-separation"],"yoast_head":"\nFrom a Crippling Crisis to Best Friends Again<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What I learned as a Surrendered Wife. 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