{"id":8581,"date":"2017-04-20T04:00:43","date_gmt":"2017-04-20T11:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8581"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:41","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:41","slug":"how-to-save-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Save Your Marriage when He Won\u2019t Even Try"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most painful things I often hear from a woman struggling in her marriage is hopelessness about her husband being unwilling to work on the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019ll tell me he won\u2019t go to counseling. He won\u2019t even read a single book.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019s already exhausted from all the work she\u2019s done on the relationship, and it\u2019s apparent he just doesn\u2019t care. At all.<\/p>\n<p>And he\u2019s the one who has the anger problem or who doesn\u2019t make any effort to spend time with the family or who wants to separate.<\/p>\n<p>The good news is that any wife can single-handedly solve her marriage problems.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>You can make your marriage magical without him even knowing what you\u2019re up to.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>And don\u2019t worry&#8211;he\u2019ll change too.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s what Olivia discovered. I\u2019ll let her tell you in her own words:<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/#1_Olivias_Story\" title=\"Olivia\u2019s Story\">Olivia\u2019s Story<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/#2_Theres_No_Such_Thing_as_Working_on_a_Relationship\" title=\"There\u2019s No Such Thing as \u201cWorking on\u201d a Relationship\">There\u2019s No Such Thing as \u201cWorking on\u201d a Relationship<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Olivias_Story\"><\/span>1. Olivia\u2019s Story<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>My husband is a smart, caring, insightful man&#8211;always the life of the party.<\/p>\n<p>At home he would retreat though, proclaiming that he needed space and being cold and distant. He claimed that he loved me deeply and that this was just how he had always been.<\/p>\n<p>We had been married for only six months, and I was so lonely and sad.<\/p>\n<p>He would go days without speaking to me or even making eye contact.<\/p>\n<p>I began to see gradual changes when I implemented Laura Doyle&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">6 Intimacy Skills\u2122<\/a> independently, but the real change came when I began to receive coaching.<\/p>\n<p>By using the specific techniques taught in the <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/relationship-coaching-programs\/\">Ridiculously Happy Wife<\/a> program, I was able to express my love and gratitude for my husband, showing him the faith and trust I had in him.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-1190817546\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>It has been transformative for both of us.<\/p>\n<p>We always loved each other, but now we have learned how to communicate it, seamlessly navigating challenges that previously could have split us apart.<\/p>\n<p>Our marriage is peaceful and loving now, with him not only wanting to spend time together at home but even calling me just to chat during our workdays.<\/p>\n<p>In my most recent coaching session, I told my coach that I wished I had a scan of my brain prior to coaching and another one afterward.<\/p>\n<p>I honestly feel like I have gained a whole new way of interacting with not just my husband but also the world. I have learned to see the good in every situation and to think before reacting.<br \/>\nAlthough these ideas are not new, the specific techniques I learned allowed me to internalize and implement them.<\/p>\n<p>All areas of my life have improved as a result of receiving coaching in Laura&#8217;s techniques.<\/p>\n<p>Shortly after beginning coaching, I began to exhibit positivity at my job. My company created a new position just for me, saying they wanted to invest in an employee with such good instincts.<\/p>\n<p>I had worked there for ten years.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn&#8217;t believe it!<\/p>\n<p>I am eternally grateful.<\/p>\n<p>I wish every newlywed could learn Laura Doyle&#8217;s 6 Intimacy Skills.<\/p>\n<p>They provide couples with a foundation to navigate life&#8217;s challenges with grace and dignity, and to embrace life&#8217;s joys with peace and gratitude.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2350827131\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Theres_No_Such_Thing_as_Working_on_a_Relationship\"><\/span>2. There\u2019s No Such Thing as \u201cWorking on\u201d a Relationship<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>One of the things I love about Olivia\u2019s story is that it illustrates the power she had to change her marriage without her husband having to do anything differently.<\/p>\n<p>But look how he changed as she transformed herself!<\/p>\n<p>He started wanting to spend more time with her, communicating his love, and dealing with challenges harmoniously. He even started calling her from work.<\/p>\n<p>Asking her husband to change would have been a criticism, and nobody much enjoys that.<\/p>\n<p>But expressing her gratitude and love, and choosing her faith over her fear made an impact.<\/p>\n<p>Those choices brought out her best&#8211;and his too.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, he responded to her better when she became her best self. She made him change by changing herself.<\/p>\n<p>The takeaway of Olivia\u2019s story is something that most people don&#8217;t know: There is no such thing as \u201cworking on\u201d a relationship. There\u2019s only working on yourself and then him responding to you better.<\/p>\n<p>Just like Dorothy in Oz, you\u2019ve had the power all along.<\/p>\n<p>With that in mind, what\u2019s one thing you would most like to focus on about yourself to make your relationship better?<\/p>\n<p>Is it making yourself happy every day? Expressing your desires in a way that inspires?<\/p>\n<p>Maybe it\u2019s expecting the best from your husband, or being more receptive.<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you\u2019ll focus on being more vulnerable or expressing more gratitude or something else this week.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d love to hear what one thing you will focus on about yourself this week to create the intimate, passionate, peaceful relationship you want. Post your intention in the blog comments below.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for being on this journey with me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most painful things I often hear from a woman struggling in her marriage is hopelessness about her husband being unwilling to work on the relationship. She\u2019ll tell me he won\u2019t go to counseling. He won\u2019t even read a single book. She\u2019s already exhausted from all the work she\u2019s done on the relationship,\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8777,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[709],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce-and-separation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Save Your Marriage [Even if He Won&#039;t Try]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How one wife saved her marriage all by herself. Olivia shares how she solved her marriage problems without him even knowing.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Save Your Marriage [Even if He Won&#039;t Try]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How one wife saved her marriage all by herself. Olivia shares how she solved her marriage problems without him even knowing.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-04-20T11:00:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:34:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/how-to-save-your-marriage.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"How to Save Your Marriage when He Won\u2019t Even Try\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-04-20T11:00:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:41+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/\"},\"wordCount\":831,\"commentCount\":110,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/how-to-save-your-marriage.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Divorce &amp; Separation\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/\",\"name\":\"How to Save Your Marriage [Even if He Won't Try]\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-save-your-marriage\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/how-to-save-your-marriage.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-04-20T11:00:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:41+00:00\",\"description\":\"How one wife saved her marriage all by herself. 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