{"id":8627,"date":"2017-05-18T04:00:26","date_gmt":"2017-05-18T11:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8627"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:40","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:40","slug":"intimacy-skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Share the 6 Intimacy Skills\u2122 with a Friend"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve received a lot of requests for a blog on how to share Intimacy Skills with a sister, mom, daughter or friend.<\/p>\n<p>Seems we all know a woman or two who\u2019s having a tough time in her relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you listen to her vent or you\u2019re her shoulder to cry on.<\/p>\n<p>You wish you could help her, but sometimes her relationship problems feel insurmountable, or she doesn\u2019t seem open to hearing about what she could be doing differently.<\/p>\n<p>You want to be supportive, but listening to her NET (Needless Emotional Turmoil) is no fun.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019d love to see her feeling desired, cherished and adored by her man, and you\u2019re wondering how to get the message across without insulting her.<\/p>\n<p>You want to show her some resources, but how?<\/p>\n<p>Here are 3 ways to help a friend get Intimacy Skills.<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#1_Listen_and_Empathize\" title=\"Listen and Empathize\">Listen and Empathize<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#2_Relate_to_Her\" title=\"Relate to Her\">Relate to Her<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#3_Let_Her_Be_the_Expert_on_Her_Life\" title=\"Let Her Be the Expert on Her Life\">Let Her Be the Expert on Her Life<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Listen_and_Empathize\"><\/span>1. Listen and Empathize<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>If your friend is complaining about how her husband is mentally or <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/verbal-abuse-in-marriage\/\">verbally abusive<\/a>, or how she suspects he\u2019s cheating on her, you might feel overwhelmed about how to help her.<\/p>\n<p>One great way to support her is just to listen and empathize by putting yourself in her shoes and reflecting on how it would feel to be her.<\/p>\n<p>Saying to your friend or sister or daughter \u201cThat sounds exhausting\u201d or \u201cI\u2019d be so hurt\u201d will go a long way toward making her feel heard and understood.<\/p>\n<p>If I don\u2019t feel heard, I\u2019m not very open to anything. Mostly I just repeat myself until I think I\u2019ve gotten my message across.<\/p>\n<p>We all have a deep need to be heard and understood. Giving a loved one that gift is one of the best ways I can think of to support her.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-3400773319\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Once you validate her feelings, she\u2019s going to be more open to listening to what you have to say.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2658970190\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Relate_to_Her\"><\/span>2. Relate to Her<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>You might think you have never been through anything like what she\u2019s talking about and therefore you can\u2019t relate. At all.<\/p>\n<p>Even if you don\u2019t have exactly the same story, you probably have had challenges in your relationship that felt insurmountable or heartbreaking.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you couldn\u2019t see eye to eye on something important&#8211;like your faith or how to parent the kids or spend money.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019ve been through a rough patch that you didn\u2019t know how to solve. Like the time your husband was so mean to your son and you intervened and it turned into a big fight.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not the same, that\u2019s for sure, and you might say that up front. But sharing your own struggle that shows you don\u2019t have the perfect life is a great way to say \u201cI relate to you. I\u2019ve been there and I won\u2019t judge you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019ll feel safer, which means less defensive. In other words, being vulnerable yourself will help her be open to listening to what you say next.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Let_Her_Be_the_Expert_on_Her_Life\"><\/span>3. Let Her Be the Expert on Her Life<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Now that your friend or family member feels heard and understood, and she knows you\u2019re not perfect either, she may be open to hearing about something that was helpful for you.<\/p>\n<p>Next you want to let her decide what\u2019s best for her.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you will invite her to read a <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/the-empowered-wife\/\">free chapter<\/a> of The Empowered Wife, which outlines the 6 Intimacy Skills\u2122 step by step.<\/p>\n<p>Or if she\u2019s a visual person, you could invite her to watch the Empowered Wives TV series on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/dp\/B0722VDJKL\/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ep_dp_xDHezbG6QM2SJ\">Amazon<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>You might invite her to come to <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/marriage-counseling-retreats\/\">The Cherished for Life Weekend<\/a> for a girls\u2019 weekend.<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019ll know if any of those appeals to her, but if they don\u2019t, you might just let her know that you trust her to know what\u2019s best for her.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s why: My dad loves the book Clan of the Cave Bear and he\u2019s been after me for years to read it, but I never have.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m sure Clan is a great book. I\u2019m even willing to bet that if I did read it, I\u2019d enjoy it. I respect my dad, and his taste in books has long influenced mine.<\/p>\n<p>But I can\u2019t open that book because dad is so attached to me reading it. He\u2019s been insisting that I must read it for so long that I get all rebellious and contrary the minute he mentions it again.<\/p>\n<p>If he had stuck to saying how much he enjoyed it or saying how much it made him look at things differently, I probably would have read the whole series years ago.<\/p>\n<p>As it is, my inner response is \u201cYou can\u2019t make me!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As a mere mortal woman, I can\u2019t get around my compulsion to be autonomous long enough to crack that book open.<\/p>\n<p>The more he urges me to read it, the heavier that book gets.<\/p>\n<p>If you were to tell your friend she should check out a book or a show, she might also find that hill too steep to climb.<\/p>\n<p>But if you invite her to check something out or tell her how much you got out of it, she\u2019ll probably feel more open.<\/p>\n<p>As with all of us, only she knows what\u2019s best for her.<\/p>\n<p>The 6 Intimacy Skills might not fit for her. Truly.<\/p>\n<p>But then again, they might.<\/p>\n<p>And if they do, she just might find a way to make her marriage magical again.<\/p>\n<p>And you will be an amazing friend for introducing them to her.<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever shared what you\u2019ve learned about relationships with a friend or family member? How did it go? I\u2019d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve received a lot of requests for a blog on how to share Intimacy Skills with a sister, mom, daughter or friend. Seems we all know a woman or two who\u2019s having a tough time in her relationship. Maybe you listen to her vent or you\u2019re her shoulder to cry on. You wish you could\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8638,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[706],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationship-coaching"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Share the 6 Intimacy Skills\u2122 with a Friend<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"3 Ways to Opening the Door without Making Her Feel Defensive. Give your friend the resources to become desired, cherished and adored without insulting her.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Share the 6 Intimacy Skills\u2122 with a Friend\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"3 Ways to Opening the Door without Making Her Feel Defensive. Give your friend the resources to become desired, cherished and adored without insulting her.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-05-18T11:00:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:34:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/intimacy-skills.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"How to Share the 6 Intimacy Skills\u2122 with a Friend\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-05-18T11:00:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:40+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/\"},\"wordCount\":971,\"commentCount\":12,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/intimacy-skills.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Relationship Coaching\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/\",\"name\":\"How to Share the 6 Intimacy Skills\u2122 with a Friend\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/intimacy-skills\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/intimacy-skills.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-05-18T11:00:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:40+00:00\",\"description\":\"3 Ways to Opening the Door without Making Her Feel Defensive. 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