{"id":8646,"date":"2017-05-25T04:00:54","date_gmt":"2017-05-25T11:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8646"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:40","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:40","slug":"honeymoon-phase","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Tips for Making the Honeymoon Phase Last a Lifetime"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When it comes to keeping the magic alive for a lifetime, here\u2019s what I know now: Forget about premarital counseling or talking exhaustively about how to parent, where to live and how much to save for retirement.<\/p>\n<p>Turns out that song about how the greatest thing you\u2019ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return was right&#8211;sustained romance is a matter of learning a few simple skills.<\/p>\n<p>But maybe they didn\u2019t offer Relationships 101 at your school, just like they didn\u2019t have it at mine.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t learn Intimacy Skills\u2122 before my wedding, and just a few years later I believed I had married the wrong man. I dragged my husband to counseling but ended up feeling more hopeless than ever when he didn\u2019t want to spend time with me or even make love to me.<\/p>\n<p>I thought my only options were to spend the rest of my life in a loveless relationship or to divorce. But when happily married women showed me a few of their practices, something magical happened.<\/p>\n<p>The man who wooed me returned.<\/p>\n<p>One of the big secrets they taught me was that women are the keepers of the relationship and that we have the power to make it happy and intimate&#8211;or stressful and tense. Just as Spider-Man learned, with great power comes great responsibility. I believe we women have a responsibility to learn the skills that contribute to lasting love and to pass them on to each other.<\/p>\n<p>Here are 5 things I wish every bride knew, but most don\u2019t:<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/#1_Respect_Is_Like_Oxygen_for_Husbands\" title=\"Respect Is Like Oxygen for Husbands\">Respect Is Like Oxygen for Husbands<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/#2_Express_Your_Desires\" title=\"Express Your Desires\">Express Your Desires<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/#3_Listen_Without_Agreeing_or_Disagreeing\" title=\"Listen Without Agreeing or Disagreeing\">Listen Without Agreeing or Disagreeing<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/#4_Keep_Doing_What_Makes_You_Happy\" title=\"Keep Doing What Makes You Happy\">Keep Doing What Makes You Happy<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/#5_Talk_to_Your_Girlfriends\" title=\"Talk to Your Girlfriends\">Talk to Your Girlfriends<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Respect_Is_Like_Oxygen_for_Husbands\"><\/span>1. Respect Is Like Oxygen for Husbands<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Men need <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/how-to-respect-your-husband\/\">respect<\/a> the way wives need love. That doesn\u2019t mean you always agree with him&#8211;lots of times you won\u2019t! But it does mean you honor his thinking instead of second-guessing or trying to improve on it.<\/p>\n<p>I wish I had known this before I spent so many years giving my husband suggestions about how to write a resume, make a budget or load the dishwasher. As it turns out, \u201chelpful\u201d in wife language equals \u201ccritical\u201d in husband language.<\/p>\n<p>These days, I trust my husband to think for himself and I expect the best outcome. Not only is he happier, we get to spend most of our time together laughing and holding hands.<\/p>\n<p>Recently, I was brushing crumbs off of the counter and he said \u201cDon\u2019t move\u201d and pulled out his phone to take my picture. It feels wonderful to be so loved after 28 years of marriage, and I know it means that my husband feels respected.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-508825042\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Express_Your_Desires\"><\/span>2. Express Your Desires<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>One of the unfortunate habits I had when I was an untrained newlywed was complaining about the mess around the house. I would say, \u201cJohn, this kitchen is a disaster!\u201d<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-3603643361\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-17022 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-new-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I expected him to jump off the couch and start cleaning the kitchen, but that never happened.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve since learned that men can\u2019t even hear us when we\u2019re complaining, so all he heard was \u201cJohn, blah blahblahblah.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Finally I learned that if my husband knew how to make me happy, he was much more motivated, so I started saying, \u201cI would love a clean kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was over 15 years ago and he\u2019s been doing the dishes ever since.<\/p>\n<p>Your husband wants to make you happy, and expressing your desires instead of complaining will give him instructions on how to do that successfully.<\/p>\n<p>That could be \u201cI would love a puppy,\u201d \u201cI would love a bigger house,\u201d or \u201cI would love a day off from the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anything goes when it comes to your desires, as long as you\u2019re not demanding or expecting&#8211;just hoping.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Listen_Without_Agreeing_or_Disagreeing\"><\/span>3. Listen Without Agreeing or Disagreeing<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes your spouse will want to blow off steam. He may say he\u2019s going to quit his job immediately because he\u2019s so mad at his boss.<\/p>\n<p>That could scare you.<\/p>\n<p>You may be tempted to say, \u201cMaybe you should sleep on it.\u201d Or, you could jump on board and say, \u201cYeah, he\u2019s never appreciated you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But is that what he really wants?<\/p>\n<p>We all have a deep need to be heard and understood. Listening to your husband without weighing in with your opinion is a wonderful way to create emotional safety, which is critical for intimacy.<\/p>\n<p>One powerful way to do that is to use this magical, three-word phrase: \u201cI hear you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s it. Not \u201cI hear you and I think\u2026\u201d or \u201cI hear you but what about\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Just \u201cI hear you\u201d is a wonderful way to show that you\u2019re bearing witness to his experience and that his words matter to you.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Keep_Doing_What_Makes_You_Happy\"><\/span>4. Keep Doing What Makes You Happy<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>One new bride tried to take up golf because her husband loved it. She took lessons, bought a set of clubs and practiced, thinking it was a great way to spend time together.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, she realized that she missed going to her dance classes. Despite her efforts, she just didn\u2019t love golf.<\/p>\n<p>No couple ever got happier because she gave up doing something she loved to spend more time together.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/self-care-activities\/\">Doing what fills you up and makes you happy<\/a> makes you a magnet to your man. You\u2019re never hotter than when you\u2019re smiling, laughing, singing or dancing.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Talk_to_Your_Girlfriends\"><\/span>5. Talk to Your Girlfriends<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>When I tried to make my husband my sole source of emotional support, he felt smothered and overwhelmed, and I felt unsupported and miserable.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s because one mere mortal man is not enough.<\/p>\n<p>Some days it takes two sisters, three best friends and my husband to put me right again.<\/p>\n<p>My friends help make my marriage magical because they help make me happy.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, my husband is my best friend&#8211;and all my other friends help keep it that way.<\/p>\n<p>What do you wish you had known when you got married? Please share your comments below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When it comes to keeping the magic alive for a lifetime, here\u2019s what I know now: Forget about premarital counseling or talking exhaustively about how to parent, where to live and how much to save for retirement. Turns out that song about how the greatest thing you\u2019ll ever learn is just to love and be\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8649,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>5 Tips for Making the Honeymoon Phase Last a Lifetime<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you\u2019re about to tie the knot, forget about premarital counseling. Sustained romance is a matter of learning a few simple skills.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/honeymoon-phase\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"5 Tips for Making the Honeymoon Phase Last a Lifetime\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you\u2019re about to tie the knot, forget about premarital counseling. 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