{"id":8802,"date":"2017-08-03T04:00:29","date_gmt":"2017-08-03T11:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyle1.wpengine.com\/?p=8802"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:35","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:35","slug":"understanding-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Men in Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019ve ever wondered what motivates your man or why he\u2019s acting the way he is, you\u2019re not alone.<\/p>\n<p>Men can be hard to understand.<\/p>\n<p>They laugh at things that aren\u2019t that funny, enjoy movies that aren\u2019t that interesting, and react to harmless comments like they\u2019re insults.<\/p>\n<p>At least, that\u2019s how it seemed to me for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>You may feel the same way.<\/p>\n<p>So at the Cherished for Life Weekend, we gather five men, put them on stage and anonymously ask them any question we want.<\/p>\n<p>Anything at all.<\/p>\n<p>We ask for seduction tips, how to get him to open up or what made him decide to choose his wife.<\/p>\n<p>And they answer very authentically&#8211;and thoroughly.<\/p>\n<p>But the women had so many burning questions that the last Man Panel didn\u2019t get to them all. So for today\u2019s blog, I decided to ask questions submitted at the Cherished for Life Weekend to a Man Panel of one: my husband, John Doyle.<\/p>\n<p>He agreed to pull back the curtain and answer eight anonymous questions candidly.<\/p>\n<p>Warning: Men may not seem less strange after you read this.<!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#1_My_husband_seems_like_hes_struggling_to_find_himself_How_can_I_support_him_I_so_desperately_want_him_to_be_happy\" title=\"My husband seems like he\u2019s struggling to find himself. How can I support him? I so desperately want him to be happy.\">My husband seems like he\u2019s struggling to find himself. How can I support him? I so desperately want him to be happy.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#2_How_long_can_a_man_stay_mad\" title=\"How long can a man stay mad?\">How long can a man stay mad?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#3_How_do_I_invite_sex_and_seduce_my_husband_He_is_attracted_to_me_but_resists_and_even_gets_angry_when_I_wear_lingerie_He_calls_it_pressure_and_manipulation\" title=\"How do I invite sex and seduce my husband? He is attracted to me but resists and even gets angry when I wear lingerie. He calls it pressure and manipulation.\">How do I invite sex and seduce my husband? He is attracted to me but resists and even gets angry when I wear lingerie. He calls it pressure and manipulation.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#4_How_do_I_encourage_my_husband_to_exercise\" title=\"How do I encourage my husband to exercise?\">How do I encourage my husband to exercise?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#5_My_husband_doesnt_share_much_with_me_How_can_I_get_him_to_talk_more_without_pressure\" title=\"My husband doesn\u2019t share much with me. How can I get him to talk more without pressure?\">My husband doesn\u2019t share much with me. How can I get him to talk more without pressure?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#6_Do_you_recommend_sex_toys\" title=\"Do you recommend sex toys?\">Do you recommend sex toys?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#7_Is_it_possible_to_restore_a_marriages_physical_intimacy_after_being_essentially_sexless_for_years\" title=\"Is it possible to restore a marriage\u2019s physical intimacy after being essentially sexless for years?\">Is it possible to restore a marriage\u2019s physical intimacy after being essentially sexless for years?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#8_My_husband_cant_articulate_what_he_wants_How_can_I_know_how_to_treat_him\" title=\"My husband can\u2019t articulate what he wants. How can I know how to treat him?\">My husband can\u2019t articulate what he wants. How can I know how to treat him?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_My_husband_seems_like_hes_struggling_to_find_himself_How_can_I_support_him_I_so_desperately_want_him_to_be_happy\"><\/span>1. My husband seems like he\u2019s struggling to find himself. How can I support him? I so desperately want him to be happy.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Ugh! [Eye roll.] One thing I don\u2019t need is a desperate woman.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-1644617157\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-17020\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I feel like she wants to control me, and my reaction is to say, \u201cI\u2019ve got it handled.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t worry about it. It may be I\u2019m on the hero\u2019s journey, and all I need from you is to trust that I\u2019m doing the right thing. It would feel like interference if you tried to do anything to help me.<\/p>\n<p>It is interference. Don\u2019t help me.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-2585256717\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_How_long_can_a_man_stay_mad\"><\/span>2. How long can a man stay mad?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Just until you start crying. Hahaha.<\/p>\n<p>A man doesn\u2019t stay mad for long because he wants to handle the situation right there and then.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re saying \u201cWhy are you still mad?\u201d it seems like you\u2019re berating me for being mad. Sounds like you disapprove of me being angry.<\/p>\n<p>Well, I am angry. It\u2019s too bad for you if you don\u2019t like it. Especially if you\u2019re the one who pushed my buttons and then you\u2019re upset that I\u2019m angry.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve got to go through the process. Don\u2019t rush me. It\u2019s like letting a pie cool before you slice it. Just go do something else and check back with me later.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_How_do_I_invite_sex_and_seduce_my_husband_He_is_attracted_to_me_but_resists_and_even_gets_angry_when_I_wear_lingerie_He_calls_it_pressure_and_manipulation\"><\/span>3. How do I invite sex and seduce my husband? He is attracted to me but resists and even gets angry when I wear lingerie. He calls it pressure and manipulation.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>So I\u2019m sitting there involved in something, then my wife comes in wearing lingerie and puts her hands all over me. But the timing is all wrong, and I feel pressured and uncomfortable. So I tell her, \u201cNot now, honey!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She says, \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I say, \u201cBecause I\u2019m watching TV with my friends!\u201d [Laughs.]<\/p>\n<p>But seriously, I don\u2019t want to feel pressured to perform. You can\u2019t make a flower grow. It has to come from inside and not from outside. Usually when I feel pressured it\u2019s because there\u2019s pressure. It turns a simple thing into a big thing.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of what goes on outside the bedroom contributes to this situation.<\/p>\n<p>If you want to turn me on, start by putting me at ease. Be pleasable. If I felt like I wasn\u2019t pressured to perform, I\u2019d already be having sex with you.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_How_do_I_encourage_my_husband_to_exercise\"><\/span>4. How do I encourage my husband to exercise?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Chase him!<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_My_husband_doesnt_share_much_with_me_How_can_I_get_him_to_talk_more_without_pressure\"><\/span>5. My husband doesn\u2019t share much with me. How can I get him to talk more without pressure?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>You answered your own question. Give him room to talk. No pressure.<\/p>\n<p>Just let him talk as much as he wants to. Maybe he doesn\u2019t feel like talking.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not that you want him to talk&#8211;it\u2019s that you want to make him feel like talking. He\u2019s got to want to talk.<\/p>\n<p>What makes me want to talk is when I\u2019m asked a question and I know giving the answer is not going to come back and haunt me later. Or I\u2019m not going to be berated for what I say.<\/p>\n<p>Smile and say \u201cThat\u2019s great\u201d instead of saying \u201cHow can you say that!?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Maybe every little thing he says, make him glad he did. Hug him. Say \u201cYou\u2019re so strong!\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Do_you_recommend_sex_toys\"><\/span>6. Do you recommend sex toys?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Ummmmm. To quote John Lennon, \u201cWhatever gets you through the night.\u201d Some people like \u2019em.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Is_it_possible_to_restore_a_marriages_physical_intimacy_after_being_essentially_sexless_for_years\"><\/span>7. Is it possible to restore a marriage\u2019s physical intimacy after being essentially sexless for years?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I bet it is. It could be because he feels pressured, rejected or taken for granted. I\u2019m not going to want to do it if every time I walk in she\u2019s all \u201cBleh!\u201d and upset and negative. So he\u2019s angry and it\u2019s his way of coping with the situation not to have sex.<\/p>\n<p>I think a lot of it is that other behaviors might change, and then all of a sudden you realize that you want to do it. If he starts to feel respected, it would change.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_My_husband_cant_articulate_what_he_wants_How_can_I_know_how_to_treat_him\"><\/span>8. My husband can\u2019t articulate what he wants. How can I know how to treat him?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>What your husband wants is what every man wants: to feel useful, to achieve and to make you happy.<\/p>\n<p>Seriously, men are pretty simple. They don\u2019t need a lot of talking. If they feel like they\u2019re helping, they like that.<\/p>\n<p>If you have a project, if there\u2019s something you want done, say \u201cI need a big strong man!\u201d He\u2019ll step up to the plate. If he\u2019s doing something for you, he\u2019ll feel purposeful. That\u2019s what he wants.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>What are the most mystifying aspects of men for you? What questions would you ask the Man Panel?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019ve ever wondered what motivates your man or why he\u2019s acting the way he is, you\u2019re not alone. Men can be hard to understand. They laugh at things that aren\u2019t that funny, enjoy movies that aren\u2019t that interesting, and react to harmless comments like they\u2019re insults. At least, that\u2019s how it seemed to me\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8806,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[710],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-8802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-intimacy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Understanding Men in Relationships<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you having trouble understanding your man? Women ask their burning questions and get candid answers right from the source.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Understanding Men in Relationships\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Are you having trouble understanding your man? Women ask their burning questions and get candid answers right from the source.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-08-03T11:00:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:34:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/understanding-men.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"Understanding Men in Relationships\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-08-03T11:00:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:35+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/\"},\"wordCount\":1019,\"commentCount\":24,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/understanding-men.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Emotional Intimacy\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/\",\"name\":\"Understanding Men in Relationships\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/understanding-men\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/understanding-men.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-08-03T11:00:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:35+00:00\",\"description\":\"Are you having trouble understanding your man? 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I'm Laura. New York Times Bestselling Author I was the perfect wife--until I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that\u2019s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me returned. I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills\u2122 that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. 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