{"id":9220,"date":"2018-05-10T04:00:09","date_gmt":"2018-05-10T11:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/?p=9220"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:21","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:21","slug":"5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Common Mistakes Women Make to Get Their Man\u2019s Time and Affection"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Wouldn\u2019t it be a wonderful world if marriage came with an easy-to-follow instruction manual?<\/p>\n<p>Who\u2019s with me?<\/p>\n<p>But since it doesn\u2019t, you bumble along trying out relationship advice you got at the hair salon, from well-meaning friends and even strangers at bars.<\/p>\n<p>They say things like \u201cNever go to bed angry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sounds wise, right? But another way to say that is \u201cStay up and fight,\u201d which doesn\u2019t seem like such a great idea after all.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a lot of bad relationship advice floating around disguised as \u201ccommon sense.\u201d Maybe that\u2019s why so many marriages are falling apart.<\/p>\n<p>Here are 5 common mistakes that wives make to get more time and attention from their husbands.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection\/#1_Pointing_Out_That_Hes_Not_Giving_You_Time_and_Attention\" title=\"Pointing Out That He\u2019s Not Giving You Time and Attention\">Pointing Out That He\u2019s Not Giving You Time and Attention<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection\/#2_Asking_Him_for_Time_or_Attention\" title=\"Asking Him for Time or Attention\">Asking Him for Time or Attention<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection\/#3_Hanging_Around_Waiting_for_Him\" title=\"Hanging Around Waiting for Him\">Hanging Around Waiting for Him<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection\/#4_Doing_Activities_He_Likes_Instead_of_Activities_You_Like\" title=\"Doing Activities He Likes Instead of Activities You Like\">Doing Activities He Likes Instead of Activities You Like<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection\/#5_Doing_Things_for_Him_so_Hell_Have_More_Time_for_You\" title=\"Doing Things for Him so He\u2019ll Have More Time for You\">Doing Things for Him so He\u2019ll Have More Time for You<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Pointing_Out_That_Hes_Not_Giving_You_Time_and_Attention\"><\/span>1. Pointing Out That He\u2019s Not Giving You Time and Attention<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Isn\u2019t it just honest&#8211;even important&#8211;to let your partner know when he\u2019s not meeting your needs?<\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t tell him he needs to be more attentive and affectionate, how will he know, right?<\/p>\n<p>The problem is, pointing out what he\u2019s doing wrong is the same as complaining.<\/p>\n<p>Gandhi was right when he said, \u201cDon\u2019t complain. Complaining won\u2019t take you anywhere. Nothing will change unless you change.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But did that stop me from complaining to my husband that he should spend more time with me and pay more attention to me?<\/p>\n<p>No, it did not.<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-3022470834\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-17020\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I\u2019d say things like, \u201cYou never spend any time with me\u201d or \u201cWhy don\u2019t you turn off the TV for once so we can talk?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As you can imagine, those words didn\u2019t inspire my husband to whisk me off to a romantic dinner, have a long, deep conversation or walk hand in hand on the beach.<\/p>\n<p>To put it in perspective, imagine hearing those words from a friend. You\u2019d think the friend was needy, or at least unpleasant.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, pointing out what he\u2019s not doing will only make him <em>less<\/em> inclined to give you his time or attention.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t worry&#8211;there\u2019s a much more effective way to get the connection you crave, which I\u2019ll tell you about in a minute.<\/p>\n<p>But first, are you making this common mistake?<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-3496301777\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Asking_Him_for_Time_or_Attention\"><\/span>2. Asking Him for Time or Attention<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>It seems logical that one way to get more time and attention is to just ask your husband for more time and attention.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019d say something like, \u201cCan you come home from work on time so we can spend the evening together?\u201d Or, \u201cWhen can you make time for me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But that approach can never be satisfying if you want him to <em>want<\/em> to spend time with you.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re like most women, you want to feel irresistible and attractive to your husband&#8211;body, mind and soul. Having to ask for time and attention will never satisfy that desire.<\/p>\n<p>Also, asking isn\u2019t necessary. Remember when you were falling in love and you couldn\u2019t get enough time together? You didn\u2019t ask him for attention then.<\/p>\n<p>You might think that\u2019s because he was putting his best foot forward and now that you\u2019ve settled into real life he\u2019s more interested in football or video games than he is in you.<\/p>\n<p>But what if there was actually something you did naturally then that you\u2019ve since stopped doing? Something that made you irresistible to him?<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ll get to that, but first let\u2019s see if you\u2019ve ever made this mistake.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Hanging_Around_Waiting_for_Him\"><\/span>3. Hanging Around Waiting for Him<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Another common mistake is arranging your schedule according to when he\u2019s available instead of according to your own desires.<\/p>\n<p>Shawna stayed home most nights and weekends hoping that her husband would be available to her, but it rarely worked out that way. Instead, she found herself waiting around bored while he worked late or even made other plans.<\/p>\n<p>Resentful that she was the only one making their couple time a priority, she was often angry by the time he showed up because it was too little too late.<\/p>\n<p>That perpetuated the cycle of him avoiding her. After all, who is going to feel drawn to a resentful, prickly wife?<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t until Shawna started making her own plans&#8211;even if that meant they wouldn\u2019t be together&#8211;that her husband started seeking her out more.<\/p>\n<p>Her interesting, enjoyable life made her much more appealing.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Doing_Activities_He_Likes_Instead_of_Activities_You_Like\"><\/span>4. Doing Activities He Likes Instead of Activities You Like<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Leah\u2019s husband was an avid golfer, so it seemed like a good idea to her to sign up for lessons so they could have more couple time. She envisioned them having lots of laughs and long talks on the links.<\/p>\n<p>But before long it was clear that golf just wasn\u2019t Leah\u2019s thing. It felt like a chore, and her husband didn\u2019t seem to appreciate the sacrifice she was making for the good of their relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Their golf conversation was stilted at best. Sure, they were together, but Leah wasn\u2019t feeling the connection she craved.<\/p>\n<p>When Leah announced that golf just wasn\u2019t for her and went back to her yoga classes, her husband seemed relieved. She was too.<\/p>\n<p>When she went back to <em>her<\/em> favorite activity&#8211;which filled her up and made her feel good&#8211;her husband was more drawn to her at home.<\/p>\n<p>Pursuing their hobbies individually made them both happy and gave them something interesting to talk about when they reunited.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Doing_Things_for_Him_so_Hell_Have_More_Time_for_You\"><\/span>5. Doing Things for Him so He\u2019ll Have More Time for You<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Finally, one of the most common mistakes women (like me) make when trying to get their husband\u2019s time and attention is tending to his responsibilities so he won\u2019t be so busy.<\/p>\n<p>The theory is that if he has more free time, he could spend it with you.<\/p>\n<p>But doing things for my husband that he could do for himself backfired.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s why: If you make his invoices for work, pack his lunch and go to the dry cleaner for him to give him more downtime, you begin to resemble his mother.<\/p>\n<p>Men are not romantically attracted to their mothers.<\/p>\n<p>Also, expending all that energy on his chores could wear you out and even make you resentful, neither of which is attractive.<\/p>\n<p>On top of that, a man has a hero gene that makes him feel most ardently in love with his wife when he can do something to improve her life&#8211;not when she does something to improve his.<\/p>\n<p>Which brings us to what will get your husband\u2019s time and attention: a respectful and ridiculously happy wife.<\/p>\n<p>One of the things that originally attracted your husband was that you respected him. You thought he was smart and capable. That made you special and irresistible.<\/p>\n<p>And happy wives draw their husbands to them like a magnet. The more he sees you smiling and laughing, the closer he wants to get.<\/p>\n<p>Which of these mistakes have you made in the past? To join in the conversation, post your answer in the comments section below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wouldn\u2019t it be a wonderful world if marriage came with an easy-to-follow instruction manual? Who\u2019s with me? But since it doesn\u2019t, you bumble along trying out relationship advice you got at the hair salon, from well-meaning friends and even strangers at bars. They say things like \u201cNever go to bed angry.\u201d Sounds wise, right? But\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/5-common-mistakes-women-make-to-get-their-mans-time-and-affection\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14444,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[710],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-9220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotional-intimacy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Get Your Husband&#039;s Time and Affection [5 Common Mistakes]<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to Get the Consideration You Want the Way You Want It - Want to attract your man like a magnet? 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