{"id":9297,"date":"2018-07-05T04:00:26","date_gmt":"2018-07-05T11:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lauradoyleorg.wpengine.com\/?p=9297"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:17","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:17","slug":"3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Things Wives Get Wrong about Husbands"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Imagine if your husband did and said everything you needed to be happy in your marriage, as though he were trying to win the husband-of-the-year award.<\/p>\n<p>What kinds of things would he do differently?<\/p>\n<p>Maybe he\u2019d redouble his efforts to clean up and maintain the house or show up more for the kids. Maybe he\u2019d be more affectionate, seeking your company whenever he got the chance.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019d feel more taken care of, special and desired.<\/p>\n<p>Wouldn\u2019t that be amazing?<\/p>\n<p>Your husband actually does want to do all those things for you. All men want to succeed&#8211;especially with their wives.<\/p>\n<p>So what\u2019s stopping him?<\/p>\n<p>It could be, and often is, that he\u2019s misunderstood. He\u2019s conveying one heart message, but you\u2019re hearing something else.<\/p>\n<p><span class='bctt-click-to-tweet'><span class='bctt-ctt-text'><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Flauradoyle.org%2Fblog%2F%3Fp%3D9297&#038;text=Here%20are%203%20things%20wives%20get%20wrong%20about%20their%20husbands.&#038;via=lauramdoyle&#038;related=lauramdoyle' target='_blank'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Here are 3 things wives get wrong about their husbands. <\/a><\/span><a href='https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Flauradoyle.org%2Fblog%2F%3Fp%3D9297&#038;text=Here%20are%203%20things%20wives%20get%20wrong%20about%20their%20husbands.&#038;via=lauramdoyle&#038;related=lauramdoyle' target='_blank' class='bctt-ctt-btn'rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share on X<\/a><\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_39 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-transparent ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\">Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/#1_Seeing_Him_as_Lazy\" title=\"Seeing Him as Lazy \n\">Seeing Him as Lazy \n<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/#2_Thinking_He_Doesnt_Want_to_Do_Things_Because_Hes_Complaining\" title=\"Thinking He Doesn\u2019t Want to Do Things Because He\u2019s Complaining \n\">Thinking He Doesn\u2019t Want to Do Things Because He\u2019s Complaining \n<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/#3_Believing_He_Doesnt_Want_to_Spend_Time_with_You\" title=\"Believing He Doesn\u2019t Want to Spend Time with You \n\">Believing He Doesn\u2019t Want to Spend Time with You \n<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Seeing_Him_as_Lazy\"><\/span>1. Seeing Him as Lazy<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Let\u2019s say you walk in after work with groceries and there are dishes in the sink, no sign of dinner being started and wet laundry that needs to go in the dryer&#8230;and your husband is already relaxing on the couch.<\/p>\n<p>You might see him as lazy or lacking initiative. You might think he\u2019s downright selfish for not seeing what needs to be done and doing it.<\/p>\n<p>But is he truly a slacker, or does he simply need to know how to be successful at being your hero?<\/p>\n<p>Is he just resting so that when he finds out what you want he can jump up to do it?<\/p><div class=\"laura-new-roadmap\" id=\"laura-2909338267\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/adoredwifeweekend.com\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-17020\" src=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1118\" height=\"559\" srcset=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal.png 1118w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-150x75.png 150w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-480x240.png 480w, https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Banner-Horizontal-768x384.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1118px) 100vw, 1118px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>True, he didn\u2019t look around and see what needed to be done without you having to say something, which would definitely have been great. But that doesn\u2019t mean he\u2019s unwilling to help.<\/p>\n<p>It could be, and often is, that he needs to know <em>how<\/em> to make you happy in that moment.<\/p>\n<p>Now is your chance to <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/my-husband-doesnt-listen-to-me\/\">express your desires in a way that inspires<\/a>. That means you need to know what you want.<\/p>\n<p>What is it you would love? To relax on the couch yourself? To go out to dinner? An empty dishwasher? A glass of wine? All of the above?<\/p>\n<p>If you roll your eyes at him or otherwise indicate that you think he\u2019s a complete waste of space, you won\u2019t get a good response.<\/p>\n<p>But if he thinks he truly has a chance to please you, watch out! You might be amazed to what lengths he\u2019ll go when he knows exactly how to make you happy.<\/p>\n<div class=\"laura-six-intimacy-skills\" id=\"laura-906805308\"><blockquote>\n<h3 style=\"display: inline; font-size: 23px;\">Related Article:<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/six-intimacy-skills\/\">The Number One Most Indispensable Skill for Fixing Your Marriage Fast.<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div><h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Thinking_He_Doesnt_Want_to_Do_Things_Because_Hes_Complaining\"><\/span>2. Thinking He Doesn\u2019t Want to Do Things Because He\u2019s Complaining<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Maybe he offers to start dinner, but in the same breath he complains about how he has worked so hard already and is tired because all weekend he was doing yard work and working overtime, plus he did all that paperwork for the mortgage or the insurance.<\/p>\n<p>Like he\u2019s the only person who might be tired! He sounds like a whiny baby.<\/p>\n<p>You might think he\u2019s just trying to shirk his responsibilities and dump them all on you. Maybe it\u2019s easier just to do things yourself than listen to him complain!<\/p>\n<p>But what if his complaints were less about his unwillingness to pitch in and were actually an awkward plea for acknowledgment?<\/p>\n<p>In other words, he\u2019s listing and relisting the things he did because he wants to know that you saw and appreciated his contributions.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, he\u2019s going about it the wrong way, no question. You have to have a generous ear to hear his heart message that he wants to be appreciated in this situation.<\/p>\n<p>But what if you could clear up this whole misunderstanding by simply saying, \u201cYou do so much around here! Thanks for working so hard to support our family and for all that you do around the house too. It makes me so happy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Not only do husbands stop complaining about what they did <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/the-power-of-expressing-gratitude-in-relationships\/\">when you appreciate them<\/a>, they seem to walk taller and prouder when they know that they made their wife happy.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Believing_He_Doesnt_Want_to_Spend_Time_with_You\"><\/span>3. Believing He Doesn\u2019t Want to Spend Time with You<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes you feel like you\u2019re barely getting to talk to each other all week because of crazy carpool and work schedules. Then, when you think you\u2019re finally going to be able to see him, your husband says he\u2019s going to visit his mom or help a friend move.<\/p>\n<p>You feel like the last person on his list. He has time for everyone and everything else in the world but no time for you.<\/p>\n<p>And it hurts!<\/p>\n<p>So you let him know how disappointed you are that he\u2019s not spending time with you, which makes it very clear he is not going to win that husband-of-the-year award. Again.<\/p>\n<p>That makes him feel like a bad husband, which makes him want to run far, far away to avoid feeling like a failure in your eyes.<\/p>\n<p>In other words, he\u2019ll be spending even less time with you.<\/p>\n<p>Granted, that\u2019s not the most mature response, but it is human and your husband is a mere mortal man.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the misunderstanding: Your husband visits his mom and helps his friend move because he\u2019s one of the good guys. He\u2019s generous and hardworking and likes to feel needed, especially by people who appreciate his company and his help.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of expressing disappointment in him for neglecting you, consider sharing how excited you are to finally get some time alone with him.<\/p>\n<p>Isn\u2019t it true that you are looking forward to couple time?<\/p>\n<p>Imagine if he knew how happy you\u2019re going to be when he comes home. Don\u2019t you think he would get home a little sooner?<\/p>\n<p>Of course he would.<\/p>\n<p>A man loves being around a wife who can hear his heart message.<\/p>\n<p>Have you suffered from any of these common misunderstandings? Post below in the comments section which of these alternatives you\u2019ll try this week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Imagine if your husband did and said everything you needed to be happy in your marriage, as though he were trying to win the husband-of-the-year award. What kinds of things would he do differently? Maybe he\u2019d redouble his efforts to clean up and maintain the house or show up more for the kids. Maybe he\u2019d\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/\">Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14437,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-9297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>3 Things Wives Get Wrong about Husbands<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How to End Misunderstandings and Hear His Heart Message - If he seems lazy, distant and unavailable, this is what\u2019s standing in the way.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 Things Wives Get Wrong about Husbands\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How to End Misunderstandings and Hear His Heart Message - If he seems lazy, distant and unavailable, this is what\u2019s standing in the way.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Laura Doyle Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/lauradoyle.org\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-07-05T11:00:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-21T06:34:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"628\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@lauramdoyle\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Laura Doyle\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Laura Doyle\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"headline\":\"3 Things Wives Get Wrong about Husbands\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-07-05T11:00:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-21T06:34:17+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/\"},\"wordCount\":1004,\"commentCount\":26,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/96ba2d9652e0d061581f6148ca656678\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/3-things-wives-get-wrong-about-husbands.jpeg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Love &amp; 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