{"id":9310,"date":"2018-07-26T04:00:55","date_gmt":"2018-07-26T11:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/?p=9310"},"modified":"2023-12-20T22:34:16","modified_gmt":"2023-12-21T06:34:16","slug":"i-am-exhausted-all-the-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lauradoyle.org\/blog\/i-am-exhausted-all-the-time\/","title":{"rendered":"I Am Exhausted All the Time"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Empowered Wife Hudi
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

I have been married for over ten years now. I live in a small apartment a bit north of New York City with my wonderful, handsome husband and our four little guys. And we are living happily ever after\u2026<\/p>\n

That wasn\u2019t the case a few years ago.<\/p>\n

When I got married, my husband was studying and I knew he planned on being in research for a while. It didn\u2019t pay much, but it\u2019s what we felt was right. I knew I would be responsible for making money, which is what I thought I was supposed to do. I took care of paying the bills and all our finances.<\/p>\n

I was under the impression that since I wanted to have children, I was expected to take care of them too. I thought it was bad to ask my husband to help at all. I changed every diaper, fed every meal, did every bath\u2026<\/p>\n

I was completely overwhelmed but did not think there was any other way.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s how I ditched my Supermom cape to be cherished and taken care of myself.
\n<\/p>\n

After a few years of feeling overwhelmed, resentment slowly crept up on me. I started getting frustrated with my husband, but when he offered help I said no way.<\/p>\n

I thought that a good mother spent as much time as possible with her children and that it would be wrong to leave them with a babysitter unless absolutely necessary.<\/p>\n

I always drove because I was too scared of my husband\u2019s driving. I did not expect him to be capable of doing pretty much anything for me. He made very minimal income and often none at all. I thought it would be wrong if he had to support me.<\/p>\n

I wonder now how my mind was so messed up!<\/p>\n

I bought my husband\u2019s clothing and whatever else he needed. I felt guilty receiving things and always worried about money. Our tax returns were always late. I just couldn\u2019t keep up with all the endless chores and jobs.<\/p>\n

The funny part is that all along we were happy with each other and in love. I never felt like it was his fault or his problem, but I started getting resentful toward the system that I assumed was how my life should be.<\/p>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Then, I fell apart. It was just too much for me.<\/p>\n

When I came across one of Laura\u2019s books, I knew instinctively that this was the exact thing I needed. I just found it hard to incorporate on my own.<\/p>\n

Nonetheless, the concepts were slowly infiltrating their way into my lifestyle.<\/p>\n

The first massive change I made was self-care<\/a>. I realized that if I didn\u2019t take care of myself, there was no way I could take care of anyone else.<\/p>\n

I got cleaning help and babysitting help, and I started trying to do things I enjoy. I focused on my emotional health and well-being.<\/p>\n

I started thinking about what I needed and what I wanted, which immediately made me calmer and happier. I considered letting go of having to deal with the finances and realized that I hated driving the car. I started getting it!<\/p>\n

I had a really hard time though. It was so scary to sit in the passenger\u2019s seat rather than driving myself.<\/p>\n

Before I joined the Laura Doyle community, it had taken years for things to change and for me to change because I couldn\u2019t do it on my own. Becoming a part of LDC made the shift happen; it changed my life and my whole way of being.<\/p>\n

I became really true to myself. I realized that I just wanted to be taken care of and cherished. I finally let go of the reins<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This year I\u2019ve been on trips to Florida and Israel and the Cherished for Life Weekend, and my husband stayed home and took care of everything while I was gone. Even when we\u2019re both home, he helps so much more than I ever could have imagined!<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t deal with the finances anymore and am so grateful to my husband for taking care of them.<\/p>\n

He just renewed our health insurance plan and is constantly taking care of all of these kinds of things. He\u2019s now actively working on making more money, which lifts such a burden financially.<\/p>\n

Shortly after I began the coach training program, he got me a new car. I was amazed\u2013he did everything from beginning to end. That was a first for us and a huge win for me.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t ever drive the car when he\u2019s around anymore, and it feels so good to be chauffeured!<\/p>\n

I am so glad that I learned to be grateful for all that he has done, is doing and wants to do for me.<\/p>\n

Another huge thing that has changed is our communication. As I became more aware of myself and my needs, I became much more capable of expressing them. My husband always wanted to please me, but I never knew how to tell him what I wanted\u2013or how to receive it if I had!<\/p>\n

Now I can also tell him how I feel without him feeling threatened or blamed. I feel so much safer and more secure being able to share my feelings in a feminine way and then receive his love and encouragement.<\/p>\n

Ohhh, it really feels nice to be a mom with a loving, generous, caring man supporting me and sharing every step of the way. I now feel loved and taken care of, no longer alone or overwhelmed with this huge burden of parenthood. We\u2019re in this together, him as the dad, the captain and caretaker, the strong man who\u2019d been hidden away.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m amazed and so grateful to have gotten to this beautiful place! Learning the Six Intimacy Skills\u2122 is one of the best things I\u2019ve ever done!<\/p>\n

I am thrilled to be a Laura Doyle coach and look forward to spreading these amazing Skills to as many women as I can. I hope to experience more and more of this wonderful transformation on my happily-ever-after journey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Empowered Wife Hudi I have been married for over ten years now. I live in a small apartment a bit north of New York City with my wonderful, handsome husband and our four little guys. And we are living happily ever after\u2026 That wasn\u2019t the case a few years ago. When I got married,\u2026 Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12392,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stopmodifiedupdate":false,"_modified_date":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[714],"tags":[],"app":[],"class_list":["post-9310","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nI Am Exhausted All the Time<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How This Harried Supermom Became a Cherished Wife - Are you the one who has to do everything around your house? 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