How To Get Your Husband Or Boyfriend To Talk To You

How to get your boyfriend to talk to you

The #1 Reason Men Open Up

I think you’ll agree with me when I say that sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do is to get a man to talk to you.

You ask how his day was and he grunts.

You tell him your news for the day and he keeps eating without even looking up.

You try to get him to open up, but he gets annoyed.

Intimacy Quiz

It turns out, you can dramatically increase the gratifying conversations with him by creating an environment that will make him want to open up and share with you more intimately.

In this post, I’m going to show you what the secret is…and exactly how you can use it in your relationship.

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From A No Sex Marriage to Playful and Passionate Again

No Sex Marriage

How I Made My Marriage Passionate Again, While Helping Others Do the Same

by Kathy Murray, Senior Relationship Coach

Having a sexless marriage before I learned the intimacy skills had me feeling so unattractive.

Before I read Laura’s book The Surrendered Wife, my husband wasn’t interested in making love to me. We fought about it all the time. I felt so unattractive and undesired…

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The Problem With Diagnosing Your Husband With a Mental Illness

Husband has mental illness

How focusing on mental illness can prevent you from fixing the real issues in your relationship

Of course, I’ve never met your husband, so I can’t really know, but let’s just pretend for a minute that the problems in your marriage are not because of your husband having a mental illness.

Imagine that the source of your unhappiness is definitely not that your husband has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), or narcissism.

Intimacy Quiz

Let’s say him being passive aggressive, bipolar, or exhibiting adolescent syndrome is not what keeps you sleeping in separate rooms, or has every conversation turn into an argument.

Suppose we could rule out that treating such an illness would get you closer to feeling connected and cherished.

Imagine that it’s all just a big distraction from the real issues, which I’ll reveal.

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Does My Husband Have Aspergers or Another Mental Illness?

Does My Husband Have Aspergers

How to Improve a Relationship When Your Husband has Aspergers, ADD, OCD, Narcissism or Other Mental Illnesses

Get Past the Diagnoses and Get Connected Again by Doing This

Hearing a mental health diagnosis from a professional about your husband is sad news, but it can also really seem like the doorway to the promised land where your relationship improves.

It sure did for me. Of course I was crushed to learn that my husband had a mental illness, but I also felt hopeful about his treatment.

I’m not the only one.

Intimacy Quiz

“Now that he can treat his ADD/OCD/Narcissism, we’ll be much happier as a couple,” you might think.

It seems logical that a combination of mental health care and medication would and should improve your marriage and make your life better–especially if a marriage counselor is recommending that course of action.

As you know, that’s not how it works.

Here’s the embarrassing story of what actually happened.

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How Not Talking About Our Relationship Saved My Marriage

talking about your relationship
I admit that if anyone had told me not to talk about my relationship to my husband when I was newly married 26 years ago, I would have dismissed that person as a nut job. I probably would have smugly said, “We talk about everything.”

You might be getting ready to put me in the nut job jar too, but before you do, let me tell you what I do that makes my relationship amazing and gets me all the things I was trying to get (but never did) by talking to my husband about our relationship.

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3 Common Relationship Tips that will Destroy Your Marriage

Relationship Tips

The Relationship Advice that Wrecked My Marriage

On many occasions, when speaking about marriage advice I give out The Worst Relationship Advice of the Week Award. There’s never a shortage of bad advice to choose from, and most of it sounds like harmless conventional wisdom from so-called experts like Dr. Phil McGraw, Dr. John Gottman or The Wall Street Journal. But bad relationship advice is harmful. I know from applying some of these ineffective suggestions in my early marriage and nearly getting divorced as a result.

Of course the real reason I give out this award is not just to point and laugh at people (although I enjoy that too) but for the purpose of highlighting the simple skills that have helped thousands of women restore the excitement, passion and fun to their relationships.

Intimacy Quiz

Here are the three most common, unhelpful relationship tips and what I now know are more productive alternatives:

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Top Secret: I’m Fixing My Marriage. Don’t Tell My Husband

Fixing My Marriage

Why You Should Keep it Top Secret When You’re Practicing the Six Intimacy Skills

Should you ever come clean about what you’re doing behind his back?

I got a great note from Theresa, who just read First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors and got—really got—that the marriage problems she has been griping about and wanting her husband to change for years are mostly things she has been mucking up herself.

She wanted to do the experiments in the book without having her husband see it and ask her about it, so she quickly made a book cover to hide the title.

Intimacy Quiz

Mostly, she was afraid he’d read it and see where she was going wrong, and say, “I told you so!”

That’s pretty unlikely, in my experience. As you begin to implement The Intimacy Skills, husbands get happy and chivalrous––not vindictive and obnoxious.

But there was a problem.

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Three Life Hacks for Saving Your Marriage

Saving Your Marriage

You’ve been working really hard on your relationship. At least, it feels like hard work because it’s so draining and takes up so much time and energy. The bad news is you were probably working on trying to fix the wrong things. The good news is that no matter how bad it seems now, it’s not too late to use these life hacks to get back the relationship—the fulfilling one you set out to have when you first fell in love. That’s true even if you’re separated, there’s been an affair, or the divorce is already started.

Of course, if the affairs are chronic, your partner is actively addicted to drugs, alcohol or gambling, or you’re with a physical abuser, it may not be worth saving your marriage because you’re not safe.

Intimacy Quiz

But if none of that applies to your situation, here’s what you can do to restore the peace, passion and connection you once shared:

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