Would You Be Happier if You Married Someone Else?

Marry Someone Else

Would You Be Happier if You Married Someone Else?

What Makes our Marriage So Exceptional

by John Doyle

Recently, Laura and I attended the backyard birthday party of a friend. There were many couples there, most of whom we knew. The evening was unusually humid for Southern California, but there was just enough scattered, light rain to make it refreshing, and we were outside under strings of lights. There was also the promise of a fireworks show from the nearby sports stadium.

Seated with us at our picnic table were a couple of wives enthusiastically complaining about their husbands, saying things like, “He never picks up after himself,” “I have to make all the vacation plans–he never does anything,” “It’s like I have another child instead of a husband,” and other critical things.

They were making these statements right in front of their stoic husbands, who were

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My Husband Refuses to Work on Our Marriage

Husband Refuses to Work on Marriage

What to do When Your Husband Refuses to Work on Your Marriage

How to single-handedly create the kind of connection and intimacy you’re craving with him

Some men go to marriage counseling willingly, but most who go do so grudgingly, and still more flat-out refuse.

These men won’t read a book about relationships, and they don’t seem interested in talking about the problems, either.

It can be incredibly frustrating for a wife who knows her marriage isn’t what it could be. After all, if he won’t work on things, isn’t it hopeless that they’ll ever improve?

That’s what I used to think, and that’s why I dragged my husband to marriage counseling.

Intimacy Quiz

But what if there’s a faster, more effective way to get what you really want from him—spontaneous love pats, heartfelt talks, romantic getaways—that you can implement yourself?

I’ll show you why his stubbornness about working on the relationship is actually a blessing in disguise, and how you can get those swoon-worthy encounters without him even knowing what you’re up to.

I know it may sound impossible that you could make your relationship gratifying and delightful again. And I get that the person who needs to change the most is him—and he will. You can make that happen. All you have to do is….

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What Makes A Happy Marriage

What Makes A Happy Marriage

5 Signs of an Incredibly Happy Marriage

What wives who are ridiculously happy do that other women don’t

I used to think that having a happy marriage was a direct result of marrying the right person.

Now I know better.

Of course, it helps to marry someone who delights you, but all brides are delighted to marry their husbands on their wedding day. So it’s likely that you did marry someone who delights you, and you have the right ingredients to have an incredibly happy marriage.

It’s really not about your husband as much as I used to think.

Intimacy Quiz

Women in happy marriages have certain traits and habits in common. It’s amazingly consistent, but wasn’t obvious to me at all! I thought I just married the wrong man.

Was I ever confused and miserable back then. But then I started working on these habits and even I was astonished at what happened next.

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From Roommate to Romance

Roomate to Romance

How I went from the brink of divorce to becoming the wife and mom I wanted to be

By Courtney Elder, Certified Relationship Coach

I first met my husband at the tender age of 21. We had a whirlwind romance and got engaged only four months after officially becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. Six months after our engagement, we were married.

I felt like he was the most amazing man I’d ever met–he was funny, smart, incredibly attractive, and had just enough rebel in him to make him all the more appealing.

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Why Doesn’t My Husband Love Me?

Why Doesn't My Husband Love Me

Being married to a man who was once affectionate and thoughtful, but isn’t anymore, is painful and heartbreaking.

I still remember what that was like. It hurts just thinking about it, even though that was years ago.

But what if the underlying problem was something you could fix pretty quickly, once you knew how?

Intimacy Quiz

Because that’s what happened to me.

I’m going to reveal the hidden habit that was squelching my husband’s love for me–and tell you what I did to get it all back.

I’ll also give you a simple, powerful phrase you can start using right away so that your husband gets happy to see you.

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3 Signs of an Abusive Relationship (and 3 Common Red Flags to Ignore)

Signs of an abusive relationship

Should you stay or should you go? How to know for sure

Most men are good guys. Not perfect, of course–but it’s safe to marry them, live with them, and have kids with them.

Chances are high that your guy falls into this category.

But there are a small percentage of men who aren’t safe to live with.

And although I’m an advocate for marriage, if you’re married to a man you aren’t safe with, then you are in an abusive relationship. In that case, I would be the first to endorse your divorce.

Intimacy Quiz

Fortunately, it’s not hard to figure it out. There are only three red flags to look at, but there are plenty of fake red flags that could throw you off. I’ll explain which ones are real and which ones to ignore.

I’ll break it all down in this blog so you’ll know exactly which category your guy falls into: Either he’s a good guy, or he’s a man you’re not safe with.

Here are the three red flags (and three things you can quit worrying about):

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How To Get Your Husband Or Boyfriend To Talk To You

How to get your boyfriend to talk to you

The #1 Reason Men Open Up

I think you’ll agree with me when I say that sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do is to get a man to talk to you.

You ask how his day was and he grunts.

You tell him your news for the day and he keeps eating without even looking up.

You try to get him to open up, but he gets annoyed.

Intimacy Quiz

It turns out, you can dramatically increase the gratifying conversations with him by creating an environment that will make him want to open up and share with you more intimately.

In this post, I’m going to show you what the secret is…and exactly how you can use it in your relationship.

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From A No Sex Marriage to Playful and Passionate Again

No Sex Marriage

How I Made My Marriage Passionate Again, While Helping Others Do the Same

by Kathy Murray, Senior Relationship Coach

Having a sexless marriage before I learned the intimacy skills had me feeling so unattractive.

Before I read Laura’s book The Surrendered Wife, my husband wasn’t interested in making love to me. We fought about it all the time. I felt so unattractive and undesired…

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The Problem With Diagnosing Your Husband With a Mental Illness

Husband has mental illness

How focusing on mental illness can prevent you from fixing the real issues in your relationship

Of course, I’ve never met your husband, so I can’t really know, but let’s just pretend for a minute that the problems in your marriage are not because of your husband having a mental illness.

Imagine that the source of your unhappiness is definitely not that your husband has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), or narcissism.

Intimacy Quiz

Let’s say him being passive aggressive, bipolar, or exhibiting adolescent syndrome is not what keeps you sleeping in separate rooms, or has every conversation turn into an argument.

Suppose we could rule out that treating such an illness would get you closer to feeling connected and cherished.

Imagine that it’s all just a big distraction from the real issues, which I’ll reveal.

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Does My Husband Have Aspergers or Another Mental Illness?

Does My Husband Have Aspergers

How to Improve a Relationship When Your Husband has Aspergers, ADD, OCD, Narcissism or Other Mental Illnesses

Get Past the Diagnoses and Get Connected Again by Doing This

Hearing a mental health diagnosis from a professional about your husband is sad news, but it can also really seem like the doorway to the promised land where your relationship improves.

It sure did for me. Of course I was crushed to learn that my husband had a mental illness, but I also felt hopeful about his treatment.

I’m not the only one.

Intimacy Quiz

“Now that he can treat his ADD/OCD/Narcissism, we’ll be much happier as a couple,” you might think.

It seems logical that a combination of mental health care and medication would and should improve your marriage and make your life better–especially if a marriage counselor is recommending that course of action.

As you know, that’s not how it works.

Here’s the embarrassing story of what actually happened.

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