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My Husband Betrayed Me: How I Found My Way Back to Love

My Husband Betrayed Me

How I Found My Way Back to Love

Rachel Smith

At the age of 20, I met my husband to be. He was charming, a true gentleman with such a beautiful heart. I fell in love quickly, and the next year we were married. I was so happy to be a wife and full of anticipation about the life we would create together.

However, our marital bliss didn’t last for long.

Life seemed to have dealt us an unfair hand. Two weeks before our wedding, my mother had a massive stroke that left her with severe aphasia. The next year, my parents divorced.

I soon found myself responsible for taking care of my mother, helping my two sisters finish high school, and mediating between my parents. To top that off, we had tons of debt from college loans, pressure to succeed in our new careers, a couple moves, not to mention all our past baggage.

We were up a creek without a paddle, and I began to feel incredibly helpless and sad. The only way to numb the pain was to control anything and everything that I could.

This included my husband, who, unfortunately, would not be controlled. Instead, he drifted further and further away.

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How I Got My Happily-Ever-After Back

How I Got My Happily-Ever-After Back

Sue, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

Once upon a time, there was a prince named Gregory who came across a fair maiden lady named Sue. And as the story goes, after it took them so long to find one another, they were destined to live happily ever after–or so they thought.

The differences between us began to appear when we were engaged and Greg moved into my townhouse. It wasn’t really the everyday things such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry that we struggled with. I was deeply blessed to have found a 55-year-old bachelor who was quite self-sufficient and self-motivated.

Where we struggled was our communication, mutual decision-making, and emotional differences.

I controlled all the finances and planned to continue to control all the decisions regarding my townhouse, along with many other things.

I gave my controlling opinion about his truck-driving job, which had him on the road for weeks on end. As a weekend wife, I was exhausted from doing everything and lonely because he was hardly ever home. I was not handling it emotionally well at all, which made him miserable with regret and unable to make me happy.

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How I Drove Another Husband Away—and Got Him Back

How I Drove Another Husband Away—and Got Him Back

Deb Reid, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

I froze.

I had heard those words before, years ago, from a different husband. That time, I had four babies under the age of six.

Sadly, the common factor was me.

I stumbled away and drove, sobbing all the way. I stopped halfway at a women’s refuge and pleaded with them to help me. They couldn’t.

I cried out to God. “Help me. Show me what to do. I can’t go through this again.”

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How to Get Your Husband Back after He Leaves You

How to get your husband back

How to Get Your Husband Back after He Leaves You

14 Ways to Shock Him (and Yourself) for the Good of You Both

I can’t think of anything more painful or heartbreaking than hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore. Maybe I never did.”

Or “It’s over. I’m in love with someone else.”

Or—maybe even worse—to discover those things without him saying anything.

It’s only human to be angry with him for being such a thoughtless jerk. It’s natural to want him to hurt the way he hurt you.

Unfortunately, there’s no real comfort in making him suffer, even though it’s more tempting than a Cinnabon.

There are, however, specific things you can do to give yourself real relief from that continuous ache and to put your family back together.

You can put everything right again but only if you do things very, very differently than you’ve been doing them.

Everything I’m going to suggest will sound counterintuitive. But these radical measures are what I’ve seen breathe new life into broken marriages for thousands of women in your distressing situation—and what I did to revitalize my own broken marriage.

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How to Stop Fighting with Your Husband

How to Stop Fighting with Your Husband

The Secrets to Creating Lasting Peace
Ellie F., Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I used to have an alter ego. She was named “Dragon Lady.” She had been with me my whole life, following me into every romantic relationship I had.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. Fight or flee were my only options most of the time. I chose to fight. If I felt scared, I would argue. If I felt sad, I would pick a fight so anger could cover the immense sorrow inside me. If I thought you might reject me, I would pick a fight and force the issue so I was in control of the demise of the relationship.

Fight, fight, fight.

I got married and had three lovely sons. Their father knew just how to push my buttons, and bam, there she was: the fire-breathing dragon.

The arguments were intense, frequent, and almost physical at times. We both contributed, yet I had no idea how to stop Dragon Lady when she awakened. It was as if something else overtook me. I felt like I was watching this terrified and mean wild animal fight for her life. Except my life wasn’t in danger!

We eventually separated and divorced. It broke my heart.

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3 Ways to Recover from a Fight

3 Ways to Recover from a Fight

How to Inspire Apologies and Handholding

If you’re anything like I was, some fights come up in your relationship more often than a hit song plays on Top 40 radio.

You don’t want to have the same fight over and over, but it keeps happening.

You’re just talking about the leftovers from dinner and next thing you know, your mother–who isn’t present–is involved, and you’re both yelling things you would be embarrassed to repeat.

You wonder why he has to yell and get so upset when the conversation was originally about Tupperware.

It makes you question whether this relationship is even sustainable because it’s so draining and painful to have these blow-ups. And so distracting from the things you were planning to do because you keep replaying the fight in your head and thinking of ways to let him have it.

Happily, you don’t have to stay stuck in wall-to-wall hostility or a week-long cold war.

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I Am Exhausted All the Time

I Am Exhausted All the Time

How This Harried Supermom Became a Cherished Wife
Hudi, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I have been married for over ten years now. I live in a small apartment a bit north of New York City with my wonderful, handsome husband and our four little guys. And we are living happily ever after…

That wasn’t the case a few years ago.

When I got married, my husband was studying and I knew he planned on being in research for a while. It didn’t pay much, but it’s what we felt was right. I knew I would be responsible for making money, which is what I thought I was supposed to do. I took care of paying the bills and all our finances.

I was under the impression that since I wanted to have children, I was expected to take care of them too. I thought it was bad to ask my husband to help at all. I changed every diaper, fed every meal, did every bath…

I was completely overwhelmed but did not think there was any other way.

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