Ritu

Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach

A Path to Enlightenment

I always believed you can only change yourself and no one else. Ironically, I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching. I counted on my husband of fifteen years for my happiness and had so many expectations of him.

I forgot that he is a mere mortal too.

Things came to a head when I received one of the best gifts from God: becoming a mom. Little did I know, it came with a huge price. The connection with my husband that I’d taken pride in started to vanish. I thought I was doing everything right but started taking the love of my life for granted.

I became so overwhelmed when he was busy focusing on his career. My complaining quota quadrupled and we began losing the peace in our house. I began blaming him for everything without realizing my part in it.

I was sad. I was frustrated. I was lonely.

I felt hurt that he did not seem to understand where I was coming from. My best friend was not there anymore when I needed him the most. Struggling to balance work and home life, even when I had some help, made me feel empty inside.

My frustrations would come out on the kids in verbal outbursts. I didn’t feel like myself. In my heart, I knew I could be the most fun-loving mom to our precious children; however, I just couldn’t do it. I felt bitter.

I was trying to be a super mom, but it was costing me my inner peace. Everything had to be perfect, and when it wasn’t, I felt so overwhelmed. Controlling situations was the only thing I knew how to do. I didn’t know the power of relinquishing control.

Then I came across Laura’s audio book The Surrendered Wife. I started listening to it one day on my way back from work. What an eye opener! I immediately downloaded The Empowered Wife onto my iPad and finished reading it in just a few days. I couldn’t believe how much this book resonated with me.

Of course, I kept it a secret from my husband. I began to subtly utilize the 6 Intimacy Skills™ with him. To my surprise, even in the early stages, I saw an immediate difference between us. I couldn’t believe it.

Had I just come across a magic wand?!

One of the first Skills I practiced was staying on my own paper. I started taking responsibility for my own actions and started indulging in self-care like never before. It became my top priority. I made a point not to feel guilty about putting myself first.

To my surprise, my husband started encouraging me to do more of the things that I truly enjoyed. I stopped nagging him to help me with the kids. I learned how to express my pure desires without any expectations. I realized how disrespectful I had been toward him, even in front of the boys. Restoring respect brought the peace back into our house.

As my mind relaxed, I realized what a nice guy my husband had been all these years. He had always taken care of me and I’d taken him for granted. To think of those days when I rejected all of the wonderful and thoughtful gifts from him–what was I thinking?

I began noticing how magical every Skill was. It required courage, determination and belief.

In time, I noticed many changes in our relationship. We both started respecting each other and became more mindful of each other’s needs. We were a team again. Soon, family time became more enjoyable and meaningful. When my husband saw that I was happier and more content through self-care, he became more relaxed and started helping out more.

Learning these Skills has truly been a life-changing experience and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Although I have been on many roller coaster rides while practicing the Skills, I admire how forgiving the Skills are. Some have been easy to practice, and some I continue to work on. I continue to marvel at the magic of an honest, heartfelt apology in restoring respect.

I was so floored by the difference the Skills were making that I decided to join Laura Doyle’s Relationship Coach Training. Still eager to practice what I preach, I thought to myself, what better way to stay accountable than by mastering the Skills? Becoming a coach would mean that, to help other women, I would have no choice but to work on making my own relationship the best that it could be.

Coach Training became a personal challenge for me. I started practicing each Skill to its optimum potential, sometimes subconsciously making mistakes, and using the Skills to get out of situations, just so I would have a success story to tell during my check-ins in class–further proof that the Skills work in every situation!

I thought that my husband had started changing. However, he was still the man I had fallen in love with, always wanting to make life easier for me. He even bought me a happiness journal during one of his trips. He just wanted to see me happy. Coach Training taught me how to find my inner happiness again.

I couldn’t have done this on my own. Signing up for Coach Training was one of the best decisions of my life, especially because of the support system that came along with it. I am thankful for the encouragement I received every step of the way by one of the most amazing groups of women I have met in my life.

Among other wonderful things that this journey has taught me, it has definitely shed a light on how I can use these magical Skills to control myself, my emotions and my happiness. It is one of the best self-improvement ventures I have ever undertaken. I have become a better person, a better wife, a better mom, and even a better healthcare provider.

I am proud to share Laura’s work by introducing it to my patients when they seem interested. I see so many sad wives and overwhelmed moms. Just as I would ask about their diet, exercise and sleep, I now ask how their self-care is or how they envision their relationship. The majority of them shed tears and are surprised to hear these questions. The glimmer of hope I see in their eyes after further discussion, especially about self-care, is priceless.

I am so eager to empower other women through what my experience has taught me. And that is my vision: to help women attain that personal empowerment and choose faith over fear. I am here to validate, with all smiles, that these Skills do work.

I couldn’t have asked for more.