How to Get Your Man’s Support for the Cherished for Life Weekend
He’ll Be Happy and Helpful if You Use This Approach
I’ve gotten lots of emails about this recently. So, I decided that you can call me and ask me anything or join me live on FB (details below).
Let’s say you want to spend some money, leave town for a few days and maybe get your husband’s help with the kids while you’re gone.
And let’s say you want to do all of this without telling him exactly where you’re going and what you’ll be doing there.
How do you do that?
That’s the situation you may find yourself in as you’re trying to make arrangements to come to the Cherished for Life Weekend.
You want to come to the good-time getaway, hone your Intimacy Skills™ with all the other amazing women and renew your feminine spirit.
But you don’t want to tell your man all the details.
You’d like to give yourself some privacy as you’re starting out, and have room to experiment without him knowing everything just yet.
That’s understandable.
Fortunately, he doesn’t need to know everything to get behind the idea.
Here’s how to get your man’s support without saying too much:
Contents
1. Express Your Desires in a Way that Inspires
Often a woman is surprised to learn that the only thing her husband needs to know to be on board with something she wants to do is that it will make her happy—even if it means he has the kids by himself all weekend.
“Not my husband!” you might be thinking. “He doesn’t care about making me happy!”
That’s what I thought too. That’s what we all thought.
When your relationship is struggling, it seems like he doesn’t care. At all.
But when you learn how to be respectful and express your desires in a way that inspires, you activate his hero gene.
It’s not hard. In fact, it seems super simple once you learn how, and it’s incredibly powerful.
Here’s the magic formula:
“I would love… [final outcome].”
In this case it would be “I would love to go to a women’s weekend in Costa Mesa, CA near the end of September.”
That’s it.
I know it may be tempting to say a lot more, but consider experimenting with stopping there. See how he responds.
2. Less is More
If you’re anything like me, you think he’s going to want to know details like what it’s about, why you’re going, how you heard about it and who you’re going with.
And you’re worried because you don’t want to say, “I’m going so I can figure out how to get your time, attention and affection.”
That’s a good instinct you have to keep mum about that part.
What’s weird to me is that husbands don’t usually ask.
That might seem weird to you too. But I’ve heard from many women that once they express a desire like that, their husbands just say, “Okay.”
As in, “Okay with me. Go ahead.”
Sure, he might want to know logistics, like how much it costs or which days you’ll be gone.
But men rarely ask what we’re going to talk about.
So why get into it if he’s not asking?
Once he says okay, just move along to the next thing. You’re all good.
Really!
3. He’ll Like This Part
Let’s just say, though, that your husband is the exception.
Let’s say he DOES want to know what you’re going to do at this women’s weekend.
Then what?
Here’s something authentic you can say that will also be appealing to him and keep you out of the details you’d rather not share:
“I’m going to learn how to be a more respectful wife.”
That would be like him saying he’s going somewhere to learn how to be a more romantic, adoring, attentive husband.
You’d likely support that kind of weekend getaway for him, right?
He’ll feel the same way.
4. What if I Can’t Go There?
Maybe you’re not in a position to check with your husband about anything.
Maybe you haven’t been speaking. Or you control the money and everything else at your house.
Sometimes a woman won’t even consider coming to the Cherished for Life Weekend because she thinks her relationship is too broken. She fears her situation is hopeless.
She thinks she would feel out of place because her husband is having an affair or has filed for divorce or he says he doesn’t love her anymore. Sometimes he’s living with the other woman, or he’s moved out and has no contact.
Just so you know, you’re not alone.
One of the most inspiring things about our community is the number of women who have not only saved their marriages from situations like those, they’ve made it passionate again.
There are always new women arriving here who wonder if it’s possible for them too.
Probably the hardest part for them is to have faith that they can come out of their crisis with a marriage that’s better than ever.
And one of the best things about the Cherished for Life Weekend is that they start to believe it.
And once they believe it, there’s really no stopping them.
I mean, it would be a little silly if only women with good relationships could come to get the Intimacy Skills.
That would be like saying you can’t go to the gym until you get in shape.
Whatever is happening in your relationship, the Weekend is for you too if what you want is to make your relationship the most gratifying, peaceful, passionate one it can be.
That’s what we all have in common: our commitment to making our relationships great, no matter where they start out.
With the firm belief that strong relationships mean stronger families and stronger communities and a better world, we gather to cheer each other on in the worthwhile quest to feel loved every day.
And along the way, every woman who comes makes a contribution to the mission to end world divorce, starting with making her own marriage vibrant and amazing.
That’s what happens at the Cherished for Life Weekend.
I look forward to meeting you there.
Still have questions? Join me on FaceBook Live Today (Thursday, 8/17/17) at 5pm PST/8pm EST for The Top 5 Ways the Cherished for Life Weekend will Give You an Unfair Advantage in Your Relationship.
OR
Call and talk to me LIVE on Friday (8/18/17) at 6pm PST/9pm EST and ask me anything about the Cherished for Life Weekend. I’ll answer all your questions and help you decide if it’s right for you.
Attend by Phone:
Guest pin code: 455409#
Primary dial in number: (425) 440-5010
Full list of dial in Numbers: http://InstantTeleseminar.com/Local/
or
Attend by computer:
https://iTeleseminar.com/100709940
12 replies on “How to Get Your Man’s Support for the Cherished for Life Weekend”
What happens if your husband refuses to accept the magic words ” I can’t” ?
What if he forces you to do it and threatens to divorce you if you don’t comply???
Hi can one listen to a recording of the call that I missed above?? Thanks Rachel
Rachel, sorry to have missed you at the live event. I hope to see you at the next 5-Day Adored Wife Challenge! You can stay in the loop by signing up here.
Hi Laura, this weekend sounds like exactly what I need to attend, unfortunately I will be out of the country on those dates. Self care is a big hurdle for me both mentally and physically. My husband is committed to me and me to him, but he doesn’t suffer from mental and has only mild health issues occasionally, so he truly doesn’t understand mine. I have been trying to resolve them for a very long time, but the reality is, I can continue to manage them but my issues are ongoing, not “curable” and I don’t want to lose him. Do you know when your next weekend will be? I don’t want to plan anything that might conflict with it.
Anonymous, I appreciate your commitment to attending the next Cherished for Life Weekend! We anticipate announcing the new dates after next month’s event, so I invite you to check cherishedforlife.com later in the year. Can’t wait to see you there!
In the meantime, I hear how challenging it is for you to practice self-care and for you husband not to understand what you’re going through. I admire your commitment to your marriage. I did not feel heard in my marriage before I discovered the 6 Intimacy Skills. Now I get to feel not only heard but cherished, desired and adored! I know you can have that too and invite you to reinvigorate your practice of the Skills with my upcoming webinar: How to Get Respect, Reconnect and Rev Up Your Love Life. You can register for free at https://connect.lauradoyle.org/six-intimacy-skills-waitlist
Thank you Laura! I was feeling rather gloomy last week about all of this stuff, but noticed my self-care was lacking. I am thinking of the separation as a long retreat to practice my skills. See you soon!
Laura, I was confident enough to tell my husband that I’d like to go to NJ with some friends to see an author (go to see you on the Cherished For Life Weekend!!) He was okay with that. (An important part: we have twin adult special needs daughters who need someone home with them if I am away, so I do not work outside of the home.) Then the next morning my email had this article about how to ask and I was again pleased that I had approached him the right way, especially with the less-is-more approach. Thing is, we have been separated for 15 long sad months; but now he feels he needs a “clean break” and served me with divorce papers early this February. Even during this separation, he *always* has taken good care of us. Will the CFLW be able to coach me personally since I am at divorce’s door? Or in fairness to all of the ladies attending, this is an overview weekend, not the personalized help given when you sign up for coaching? I have read the books, seen the webinar, am going to the weekend, tried to apply the Skills with a husband that is out of the house….and the court date is hanging over my head. It makes me mad that our hard earned money is going to divorce attorneys. Thank you for all that you do to stomp out divorce, I am so on board with this!
Yes, Suzanne! Group coaching, sharing, breakthroughs and insights will occur throughout the weekend. And you’ll have the opportunity to get one-on-one coaching too. I am so glad you’re coming and can’t think of a better place to be given what you are going through. I admire your courage in expressing your desire and your commitment to your marriage. As painful as it is right now, this could be the breakdown before the breakthrough. I cannot wait to meet you and support you in saving your marriage!
I’m impressed with your perseverance to save your marriage. I too am among the woman that believe it’s too late for my own to be saved. There are certain things going on that just don’t get me to believe that it’s not too late to save mine. But your story certainly makes me step back and think ” maybe I DO have a chance!” Thank you for sharing that!
Cynthia, I am delighted to hear that you have chosen to embrace a grain of hope. I want to acknowledge you for your commitment to your marriage and for receiving others’ words with an open heart.
One woman who attended the last Cherished for Life Weekend thought it was too late for her relationship because her husband had already finalized the divorce. She continued to practice the 6 Intimacy Skills anyway. Before she knew it, her now ex-husband moved back in.
If she can do it, it’s not too late for you to save your marriage. I would love to meet at the Cherished for Life Weekend and be face to face with other walking miracles together! So you can get started in the meantime, I invite you to my upcoming webinar: How to Get Respect, Reconnect and Rev Up Your Love Life. You can register for free at https://connect.lauradoyle.org/six-intimacy-skills-waitlist
Laura, I can’t wait to be with you at the Cherished for Life Weekend!
Anonymous, I feel the same way! I’m looking forward to seeing you there.