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099: How to Cope When He’s Mentally Ill

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: How to Cope When He’s Mentally Ill Let’s say you get a diagnosis for your husband. So you finally know What’s Wrong with Him. Now what? Let’s imagine that the problems in your marriage are NOT because of your husband having a mental illness. Let’s say him being passive aggressive, bipolar, exhibiting adolescent syndrome, or having ADD, OCD or NPD is not what keeps you sleeping

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098: 3 Ways to Break Your Family Patterns

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: 3 Ways to Break Your Family Patterns If you’re having a breakdown in your marriage, you may be playing out a pattern you learned in your family. Whether your parents are divorced, never married or are married to this day, maybe they don’t have the kind of marriage you want to emulate. There probably was no Relationships 101 at school, so where were you supposed to

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097: 3 Moves to Restore Peace after a Fight

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: 3 Moves to Restore Peace after a Fight If you’re anything like I was, some fights come up in your relationship more often than a hit song plays on Top 40 radio. You don’t want to have the same fight over and over, but it keeps happening. You’re just talking about the leftovers from dinner and next thing you know, your mother–who isn’t present–is involved, and

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096: 3 Mistakes Wives Make Trying to Get His Time and Attention

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: 3 Mistakes Wives Make Trying to Get His Time and Attention Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if marriage came with an easy-to-follow instruction manual? But since it doesn’t, most women bumble along trying out relationship advice from the hair salon, well-meaning friends or even strangers at bars. There’s a lot of bad relationship advice floating around disguised as “common sense.” Maybe that’s why so many

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095: How to Get Past Cheating

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: How to Get Past Cheating An affair is a betrayal that hurts like crazy and seems like it could be impossible to recover from, both personally and as a couple. It’s human to want to make him hurt too, to yell and throw things. It’s irresistible to berate him. From crying in your ice cream to asking your sister “How could he do this to me?”

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094: 3 Insights from 20 Years of Empowering Wives

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: 3 Insights from 20 Years of Empowering Happy Wives Over twenty years ago, I was shocked to find out that I could single-handedly make my crumbling marriage thrive using the 6 Intimacy Skills. It was mind-blowing to go from feeling like I’d exhausted every option to try to fix my broken marriage to finding out that I had so much power I could find the switch

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093: How To Be Vulnerable In A Relationship

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: How to Be Vulnerable in a Relationship Why would you even want to be vulnerable in a relationship? It doesn’t feel like I’m showing my beautiful, tender side. I usually feel squishy and embarrassed or shy, and my instinct is to avoid that whenever possible. So it feels weird to be vulnerable on purpose, but that’s my plan. Sounds crazy, right? Stick with me here. When

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092: Top Secret: I’m Fixing My Marriage. Don’t Tell My Husband

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: Top Secret: I’m Fixing My Marriage. Don’t Tell My Husband When I started fixing my marriage, I really didn’t want my husband to know! And I know I’m not alone here. It’s nice to have the freedom to experiment without your husband asking about it–or being your armchair coach. The last thing you want is having an experiment go wrong and hearing “I told you so!”

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091: How to Keep Drama out of Your Relationship

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: How to Keep Drama Out of Your Relationship In the bad old days, when my husband John and I used to fight all the time or have cold wars, there was plenty of drama. When I finally discovered The Six Intimacy Skills, along with the Connection Framework of a community and paying forward what I was learning, our house became peaceful but strangely quiet. Often a

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090: The #1 Indispensable Practice for a Lasting Marriage

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: The #1 Indispensable Practice for a Lasting Marriage Whenever a student tells me that she’s having a lot of conflict in her relationship or feeling hopeless about it, there’s one question I always ask. It’s the same question I ask myself if my husband is bugging me. Then he doesn’t seem so bad; in fact, he seems pretty funny and sweet. And I forget what I

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089: Wives with Lasting Marriages Don’t Say These Two Things

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: Wives with Lasting Marriages Don’t Say These Two Things If you’re anything like me, you love having deep conversations with your husband. They’re probably part of what made you fall in love with him. If they’ve gone missing, you may have wondered how to get those started again at your house. And there are two common tactics that you’ve probably been told are healthy but that

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088: 3 Genius Marriage Life Hacks

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: 3 Genius Marriage Life Hacks You’ve been working really hard on your relationship. At least it feels like hard work if it’s draining and takes up so much time and energy. The bad news is you may have been working on fixing the wrong things. The good news is that, no matter how bad it seems now, it’s not too late to save the relationship—and get

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087: How to Have Your Best Relationship

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: How to Have Your Best Relationship Having your best relationship may feel impossible if your marriage is struggling. You might think, like I once did, that you’d need to start over with someone new in order to have a good relationship. When you’re in a lot of pain because of fighting or feeling abandoned, it’s easy to dread the future, hard to picture your marriage becoming

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086: How You Can Help End World Divorce

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: How You Can Help End World Divorce Ending world divorce may sound to you like one very tall order. It might seem like something so big and overwhelming that you can’t imagine how it could happen, never mind how YOU could contribute to such a lofty goal. After all, relationships are falling apart everywhere you look, and it seems so normal, so business-as-usual to hear about

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085: 3 Myths About Relationship Coaching

LISTEN TO THE SHOW: Myths About Relationship Coaching If you’re like me, having been to personal and couple’s counseling plenty but never having had a coach except in school sports, then counseling is probably your point of reference when you picture professional help with your relationship. That’s all any of us had for a long time. If you’ve already been to marriage counseling, as so many people have, and that

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