How Little Changes Can Make a Big Impact By Shazia
Not long ago, my marriage was in a rut. Maybe you can relate? There was a deep sense of disconnect between my husband and me, like ships passing in the night. The connection that we had once shared was fading and I lived in fear of divorce.
I blamed everything around me for the problems in our marriage. I blamed my husband for not giving me the time or attention that I felt I needed. I blamed his job for his lack of energy with our sons and me. I blamed his religious commitment to his mosque for taking up all of his time when he was home. I blamed the two phones he carried with him constantly for our communication issues. I blamed the TV for taking away our valuable time together in the evenings.
On top of feeling this disconnect with my husband, I was also incredibly busy. Nearly every weekend was filled with family get-togethers, endless household chores, kids’ homework, and extracurricular activities. I was also a part-time student and worked three days a week. I was exhausted and resentful, and felt so alone in my marriage. I knew that divorce was not something that I wanted to put any of us through, especially my children.
After I realized that I did not want to end my marriage, I made a commitment to make my relationship all that I ever wanted it to be. I just didn’t quite know where to start.
I was in an Islamic webinar when the shaykh, or Islamic scholar, mentioned a book, The Surrendered Wife, in the marriage/relationship segment of the course. Although he mentioned a few other books too, this one stuck in my head, and I ordered it straight away. I was pleasantly surprised with the wisdom in Laura’s book and that the 6 Intimacy Skills™ and principles fell within the guidelines of my faith.
Even more surprising, when I applied some of the principles, I saw big changes in my marriage.
I discovered that in practicing the Intimacy Skills, I was seeing instant results. For example, instead of asking my husband (again) to put up a door on our bathroom cabinet, I simply expressed my pure desire to have the project completed. Previously I had asked, complained, and made sarcastic comments about him getting it done, but it never got done. By expressing my desire to have the project completed, my husband showed up big that day! Knowing that he had prior commitments, I was sure that he would not be able to get the door finished, but somehow he did! When I simply expressed my desire, my husband was able to step up and show me that my needs and desires are important to him, that he really does care about making me happy.
Each time I applied Laura’s principles in my relationship, something amazing would happen in my marriage.
Soon, I found myself enjoying the peaceful, intimate relationship that I had been longing for. When I heard that Laura was looking to train new coaches, I applied for the course. It was an eye-opening, humbling and life changing, or I should say marriage-changing, experience!
You can learn more about becoming a Laura Doyle Certified Relationship Coach here.
