How To Be Vulnerable In A Relationship
Your Scary, Beautiful, Tender Side
“Rather than deny our vulnerability, we lean into both the beauty and agony of our shared humanity. Choosing courage does not mean that we’re unafraid, it means that we are brave enough to love despite the fear and uncertainty.”
Why is it so difficult to be vulnerable in a relationship? Perhaps it’s because we mistake being vulnerable with being weak. In this Intimacy Skill, vulnerability means opening yourself up emotionally to the most tender, fragile parts of yourself in order to allow your husband to truly see you. When it comes to your relationship, vulnerability may be the single most indispensable ingredient for creating intimacy. You simply cannot have intimacy without being vulnerable.
It’s scary to show our vulnerable side. That’s normal. It takes strength and courage to open up and expose the tender parts of our heart to someone else, but men have a much easier time stepping into the roles of provider and protector when we do. Men want the opportunity to make us happy, to make us feel protected and taken care of. Without vulnerability in a relationship, it’s hard for a man to know how he can serve and take care of his wife. When we let down our guard and show the vulnerable, exposed side of ourselves, we invite our husbands to come close and connect.
Being vulnerable is not being meek, submissive, or acting like a doormat. It does include letting go of thinking we should handle everything by ourselves. It includes saying ‘I can’t,’ which gives rise to the opportunity to receive help from your man, which in turn makes both you and him happy. It means that instead of getting angry with our husbands for spending too much time working or with friends, we simply say, “I miss you”. Being vulnerable in a relationship means that instead of masking our sadness or fear with anger, we tell our husband how we feel, even if it means we break down and cry. Being vulnerable allows our husbands to step in and take care of us with their own tenderness and kindness, rather than being that tough cookie that doesn’t need anyone.Vulnerability reveals that feminine, tender side that your husband fell in love with. Click To Tweet
It lets other women in your circle–like friends and family–witness your beauty and tenderness. Consider showing your vulnerable side with your man and with the women in your life and see if there isn’t magic and beauty in being vulnerable.
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