When it comes to your relationship, vulnerability may be the single most indispensable ingredient for creating intimacy. You simply cannot have intimacy without being vulnerable.
But specifically…HOW do you do that?
Why is it so difficult to be vulnerable in a relationship?
“Rather than deny our vulnerability, we lean into both the beauty and agony of our shared humanity. Choosing courage does not mean that we’re unafraid, it means that we are brave enough to love despite the fear and uncertainty.”
In other words, it’s scary to show my vulnerable side.
That’s normal. It takes strength and courage to open up and expose the tender parts of our heart to someone else, but men have a much easier time stepping into the roles of provider and protector when we do.
In my case, I had also collapsed being vulnerable with being weak but they’re not the same.
In this Intimacy Skill, vulnerability means opening myself up emotionally to the most tender, fragile parts of me in order to allow my husband to truly see me. Without vulnerability, it’s hard for a man to know how he can take care of his wife and make her feel special and desired.
Men want the opportunity to make us happy, to make us feel protected and taken care of.
When we let down our guard and show the vulnerable, exposed side of ourselves, we invite our husbands to come close and connect.
Being vulnerable is not being meek, submissive, or acting like a doormat. It DOES include letting go of thinking we should handle everything by ourselves.
It includes saying ‘I can’t,’ which gives rise to the opportunity to receive help from your man, which in turn makes both you and him happy.
It means that instead of getting angry with my husband for spending too much time working or with friends, I simply say, “I miss you”.
Being vulnerable in a relationship means that instead of masking my sadness or fear with anger, I tell my husband how I feel. I might even cry.
Being vulnerable allows my husbands to step in and take care of me with his own tenderness and kindness, so I don’t have to be that tough cookie that doesn’t need anyone.
Vulnerability reveals that feminine, tender side that your husband fell in love with.
It lets other women in your circle–like friends and family–witness your beauty and tenderness. Consider showing your vulnerable side with your man and with the women in your life and see if there isn’t magic and beauty in being vulnerable.