The Power Of Expressing Gratitude in Relationships
Expressing gratitude in relationships is one of my favorite Intimacy Skills because it has so much power to change my life for the better. When I express gratitude, whether it’s toward my man or my life in general, my focus begins to shift dramatically. When I take time to look around at what I have, where I am, and who my husband is for me, my life seems instantly better. That’s the power of gratitude.
Expressing gratitude is one of the first skills we work on in my Coach Training Program, and for good reason. When you begin shifting your focus from what’s not working to what is working, what we don’t have enough of to what we have in abundance, you start to feel differently about those things. You begin to see things differently. An attitude of gratitude is empowering because it has you take stock of your life by focusing on the things that are good in your life, which makes those things increase. Gratitude has magical properties because it can turn an ordinary meal into a feast. And when you add gratitude to your relationship, your husband becomes your hero.
If you’re having trouble finding things to be grateful for, start with what’s right in front of you. If your husband has a job that allows you to stay home with your kids, you can be grateful for that. If he bathes the kids, takes out the trash, helps with the laundry, puts the dishes away, you can be grateful for all of that, too. Expressing gratitude acknowledges the things that your man does for you, even if he may not do them exactly the way you would like. When you find the courage to show how appreciative you are of him, without being critical or judgmental, your man will feel accomplished, helpful, and happy that the things that he does for you make a difference and make you happy.
The point is that the more you appreciate your husband’s efforts to help and please you, the more he wants to do things that make you happy. Even if you are doing your part in the relationship, thank your husband for the part he plays, too. Thanking him and expressing gratitude doesn’t invalidate or diminish what you’re doing. We all like to be appreciated. If you want to see your man as a hero again, take some time to list all of the things that he does for you, and you might just be surprised at the amazing guy you have right in front of you.
4 replies on “The Power Of Expressing Gratitude in Relationships”
It’s true all the small things add up! So add up all the good things. Write out 5 things you are grateful for about your husband (he cooks, he mows the lawn, he fixes the car, he picks you up from work, etc), then go up to 10 and then then go for 20 everyday! Read over it and update the list everyday, especially if you feel angry or resentful. And tell him 3 of those things a day. Everyone likes to feel special about themselves and hearing the gratitude of your spouse is one of the best ways to get it.
Milia, make a list of all the good things you like about him, start with something really small like he laughed with your child or he asked how your days was, or put his laundry in the right place. You write he does the taxes and he works -those are 2 very BIG things he does! Doing taxes is a boring and horrible job, working reliably and consistently makes you a very lucky women-there are so many men who can’t manage that. There’s lots of great character traits there you could write down! Try write down 1-3 things daily and by the time you’re doing this a week/two you’ll sit down to write and you’ll feel like you have an endless list of things to write about your husband’s character and also all the great things he does! This will allow you to respect him and feel grateful towards him too!
Make sure you purchase a copy of ‘The Surrendered Woman’ and/or ‘The Empowered Woman’ – the magic in these books is so powerful!
Greatest of luck!
Thank you for sharing your experience. Reading about these experiences, I feel there is hope in every relationship. I hear you, I agree to everything you’ve mentioned about gratitude, but I have been wondering and hing, how can I show gratitude in my relationship. I do the chores at home, I work, I pay the bills, I take the trash out. He does taxes, he works too. I need help to find the reason to show gratitude, I am very confused. Please can you help me? We went thru a rough patch, he had an affair for 6 years, I found out about it last year, filed for divorce, but couldn’t go thru it. So we are back together. I used to love him to death, but now its like we are living in the same house, we have a lot of fights, my child is very mad at what he did and mad at me for letting him back in our life. There is too much turmoil in the home. Please help me show gratitude to him. We are back together, but I don’t know if I love him anymore for what he’s done to our family. Thanks.
I have enjoyed everything I have read including your book. I look forward to getting more help.
Thank you !