If you’ve ever spent an evening with your man or a date and ended up being his life coach, you already know that doesn’t make you irresistible.
Quite the opposite, actually.
All that good advice you gave him did not lead to more dates, or make him pull you in with both arms and shower you with kisses, or look deep into your eyes and say that he loved you more than anyone has ever loved anyone.
But there are 11 simple behaviors that men find irresistible in women, and not one of them has to do with hair, makeup or how you dress.
None of them are manipulations. They won’t make you seem desperate. You won’t have to dumb down.
In fact, they’ll help you be your best self—your real self.
Here’s how you can become supermodel-style irresistible to a man whether he’s your long-time husband or you’ve just met:
1. Be Vulnerable
A study at The University of Toronto found that women are more emotional than men.
There’s research money well-spent, right?
But it’s true that we women have emotional brilliance that men find wondrous and alluring. In particular, our vulnerability draws them in like lions to gazelles.
Being vulnerable means revealing the less-than-perfect parts of you. The shy part. The tender part. The part that’s afraid of spiders.
Trying to impress him with how independent you are will never attract him in the way that admitting you’re feeling over your head in your new job, or that you felt embarrassed at the parent teacher conference would, for example.
You don’t have to have it all together to be irresistible. He’s looking to be able to make a contribution to your life, and seeing your vulnerability inspires him to believe that he could.
The best conversationalists are good listeners.
Letting a man talk without interrupting, correcting him or trying to teach him something will make you a tall, cool glass of water in the desert.
He’ll tell you everything on his mind if you create the emotional safety of leaving lots of space for him to talk and say only, “Uh-huh,” or, “I hear you.”
You don’t have to agree or disagree. Just listen. Try it for an hour tonight with your guy, or on your next date.
He won’t be able to get enough of you.
3. Be Receptive
Receptivity is the essence of femininity, and that’s what men are fundamentally attracted to.
Being open and receptive—to his compliments, his help, his gifts—is to be feminine.
Therefore, to be incredibly attractive, be receptive.
Instead of giving to him or doing things for him, let him give and do for you—even if it makes you feel uncomfortable and squishy inside.
He’ll be 10 times more in love with you on the day he’s knocked himself out to build you a deck, set up your new computer or helped you move than he would if you didn’t trouble him.
If you let him admire you, praise you, lift things for you and solve some of your problems he’ll say, “I don’t know what it is, but I just want to make you happy.”
4. Be Pleasable
If you’re unhappy no matter what he does, you’re going to be resistible. Really resistible––like avoidable.
If you’re happy and you know it then your face will surely show it and he’ll see an opportunity to pile on by bringing you your favorite ice cream, a bracelet or a designer sweater.
Why? Because making you happy makes him feel good and you are irresistible when you make him feel that way.
5. Expect the Best
One woman was walking with a date when he announced he was taking her to a particular restaurant. She knew that it was on the next block over and they were going away from it.
But she decided to trust him to find his way there, which they eventually did, but not before they’d run into some street entertainers who made the night magical, which she would have missed if she’d said, “You’re going the wrong way!”
Expecting the best from her date let her be open to unexpected fun and had him inexplicably fascinated with the woman who trusted and expected the best from him.
6. Be the Girl of Fun and Light
The more you focus on having fun, the hotter you become. You’ll never be more magnetizing then when you’re doing your happy dance and laughing and smiling.
Look for ways to delight yourself no matter where you are and what the circumstances. Commit time and energy to having fun every day, and your man will seek you out to spend ever more time with you.
If you haven’t made yourself happy, you’re not going to be irresistible. But the more you’re filled up with joy, the more you’ll notice him finding reasons to be where you are.
7. Be a Seductress
As a wife, you may be tempted to be the aggressor when it comes to physical intimacy, but consider how much more attractive you’ll be to him if instead you seduce him with your body, your scent and your voice.
I’m not saying don’t initiate—I’m just saying when you do, take the irresistible approach of inviting him to make the first move by letting him know you’d be willing.
That way you get to feel the thrill of knowing he can’t keep his hands off of you.
Nothing is sexier to him—or more gratifying for you.
8. Focus on his Strength
If your man is ailing, or needs a new resume or his laundry done, you might be tempted to take care of him—kinda like his mom would. But men don’t find their moms irresistible.
Consider mirroring the strength you see in him instead of the weakness.
Of course you empathize that he’s sick, but rather than babying him, you could affirm him for being such a strong man.
Show that you trust he’ll do a good job on his resume or the laundry.
There’s nothing more appealing than a woman who reflects the strength and capability she sees in her man.
9. Express Gratitude
The more you appreciate what your man does for you, the more he’ll knock himself out looking for more ways to gain your appreciation.
He’ll love knowing that he pleased you in small ways so much, he’ll look for more and bigger ways.
Hearing your thanks and delight is music to his ears and will make you seem like the most beautiful woman who ever lived.
10. Sometimes, Say Nothing
I’m don’t recommend dumbing down. You know what you know, and you can use that to your advantage at any time.
But sometimes it’s advantageous to say nothing, even if you think you know the answer to all his problems.
The Goddess of Wikipedia who knows everything? She’s resistible.
The more you focus on being the expert on your own life—and trust that he’s the expert on his life—the more he’ll go to any length to get next to you.
There’s an expression that it’s better to have some of the questions than all of the answers. That’s certainly true when it comes to being irresistible to a man.
11. Remember Who You Are
I promised that none of what makes you irresistible is hair, makeup or what you wear, and that’s true.
Irresistibility comes from inside.
But what makes you attractive to him is that you have the mind, spirit and body of a woman. The more you dial that up, the more attractive you’ll be.
So one way to be physically irresistible is to celebrate that female form—whether it’s by noticing the swing of your hips when you walk, or the feel of a skirt around your legs or even his hand on the small of your back.
Whatever your shape or size, you were born with the goods that make you a magnet to your man.
There’s every reason to rejoice about your feminine form since it’s part of what makes him rejoice about you.