When you’re struggling in your marriage because you’re getting hurt, neglected or criticized, it’s so discouraging and draining.
That’s especially true if you’ve been practicing The Six Intimacy Skills™ that you hear about on this blog or my podcast, or in The Empowered Wife book or audiobook and it’s just not working. You might start to feel like your situation is hopeless.
Maybe your husband has a big character defect that is dragging you down, and you don’t see it ever changing. It doesn’t seem possible to become a ridiculously happy wife.
Or maybe the 6 Intimacy Skills have improved some things for you, but there are still aspects of your marriage that you don’t like but feel you just have to accept, even though it’s depressing to think about living the rest of your life that way.
Maybe you think that if you and I talked privately about your marriage, I would tell you to just be grateful and stop focusing on what you don’t like.
But I’m not interested in having you suck it up and just accept some part of your marriage as miserable.
I want you to have your birthright as a woman, which is to feel desired, taken care of and special.
To feel loved in all five love languages.
I mean why pick just one?
And I’m not giving up until you get the marriage you dreamed of when you were a little girl, even if you think you weren’t a very realistic little girl.
Even if the problems in your marriage seem unfixable, that’s the thrill in what we’re doing around here: making our marriage dreams come true.
1. What’s Your WHY?
There are a few reasons it’s so important for you to have an all-around fantastic marriage besides just your own happiness, which is very important not just to you but also to your husband and of course to your kids.
That alone is a pretty good reason you need a shiny, amazing marriage, but another vital reason to create a home that’s bursting with playfulness and passion is because that strengthens your marriage and strong families rely on strong marriages.
And strong communities rely on strong families.
And strong countries rely on strong communities.
I know that you believe in learning and growing to make your marriage better and that having a strong marriage is important to you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this blog right now.
You’re more invested and committed than most women when it comes to making your marriage last and thrive. I admire that.
The world needs more women like you, who think making your marriage shiny and amazing is important.
2. But What if You Feel Guilty?
If investing your time and energy in your own happiness and desires brings up some guilt for you, like it still does for me sometimes, then you can think about this journey you’re on to have a strong marriage as part of creating peace on earth, starting with your own marriage.
If you’re feeling stuck in any way, then I want to invite you to think about what experiment you might be willing to do to have a breakthrough.
The first thing is to figure out what breakthrough you want to have. What specifically would you be experiencing now if you’d already had that breakthrough?
That itself is a place where we see students get stuck. You might think that the breakthrough you want isn’t possible.
Or you might be having a hard time articulating what that breakthrough would look like.
Or you might be feeling too vulnerable to receive the gifts and the help that are essential to having that breakthrough.
That’s because it is vulnerable! You just want to feel better and you want to feel safe!
One powerful way to get unstuck is to have someone who can see where you’re stuck nudge you in a direction you hadn’t thought of while holding you in safe hands.
Not to tell you what to do, because only you know what’s best for you. But to share what she did in a similar situation to create a transformation so you can decide whether it’s something you want to experiment with too. So that you’re empowered to create your own transformation.
That’s what the coaches do for students in The Ridiculously Happy Wife group coaching program.
One big reason the Ridiculously Happy Wife program is so effective for helping wives fix their marriages is because of the emotional safety inside.
That’s also the reason it’s not that easy to get in. You can’t just go to the website and sign up.
We usually let new students join the program only AFTER they attend my free masterclass or the annual 5-day Adored Wife Challenge. We want to make sure that everyone we invite into the program will uphold our values:
- That having a great marriage is important
- That practicing the 6 Intimacy Skills is the best way to fix your marriage
- And that every woman who finds the courage to fix her marriage and become her best self deserves love and support without judgment
3. What if You’re Afraid?
Experimenting is scary for me too. I had free-floating terror when I started my podcast a few years ago. I didn’t know whether I would be able to get guests to come on and share such personal stories or whether I would have something valuable to say every week. I worried that I’d get started and then just have to stop.
It still feels like an incredible gift every week when a student comes on to share vulnerably, to pay forward what she’s learned. If I hadn’t started the podcast, I wouldn’t get to hang out with brave women who decided to go all in with fixing their marriages every week. Talking to them makes me feel more courageous.
That’s why I want to invite you to be a guest on the podcast. Imagine coming on to talk to me one-on-one to share about what you did to get your miracle. Imagine yourself taking a victory lap and me giving you a wife award while you’re giving other women hope, because that’s what being on the podcast is all about.
Even if you’re thinking “I would never come on the podcast!” I invite you to imagine it anyway. One coach trainee who has an amazing transformation in her marriage shared that she imagines herself on the podcast telling her inspiring story as she’s falling asleep at night.
It’s a great way to count your blessings.
And sharing your story is part of the Connection Framework that accelerates your transformation.
It takes courage to start a podcast, to be featured on a podcast, and to join the Ridiculously Happy Wife to fix your marriage, but in my experience, fortune favors the brave.
What’s one way you will be brave today? I’d love to hear below