I Am Exhausted All the Time

I Am Exhausted All the Time

How This Harried Supermom Became a Cherished Wife
Hudi, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I have been married for over ten years now. I live in a small apartment a bit north of New York City with my wonderful, handsome husband and our four little guys. And we are living happily ever after…

That wasn’t the case a few years ago.

When I got married, my husband was studying and I knew he planned on being in research for a while. It didn’t pay much, but it’s what we felt was right. I knew I would be responsible for making money, which is what I thought I was supposed to do. I took care of paying the bills and all our finances.

I was under the impression that since I wanted to have children, I was expected to take care of them too. I thought it was bad to ask my husband to help at all. I changed every diaper, fed every meal, did every bath…

I was completely overwhelmed but did not think there was any other way.

After a few years of feeling overwhelmed, resentment slowly crept up on me. I started getting frustrated with my husband, but when he offered help I said no way.

I thought that a good mother spent as much time as possible with her children and that it would be wrong to leave them with a babysitter unless absolutely necessary.

I always drove because I was too scared of my husband’s driving. I did not expect him to be capable of doing pretty much anything for me. He made very minimal income and often none at all. I thought it would be wrong if he had to support me.

I wonder now how my mind was so messed up!

I bought my husband’s clothing and whatever else he needed. I felt guilty receiving things and always worried about money. Our tax returns were always late. I just couldn’t keep up with all the endless chores and jobs.

The funny part is that all along we were happy with each other and in love. I never felt like it was his fault or his problem, but I started getting resentful toward the system that I assumed was how my life should be.

Then, I fell apart. It was just too much for me.

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When I came across one of Laura’s books, I knew instinctively that this was the exact thing I needed. I just found it hard to incorporate on my own.

Nonetheless, the concepts were slowly infiltrating their way into my lifestyle.

The first massive change I made was self-care. I realized that if I didn’t take care of myself, there was no way I could take care of anyone else.

I got cleaning help and babysitting help, and I started trying to do things I enjoy. I focused on my emotional health and well-being.

I started thinking about what I needed and what I wanted, which immediately made me calmer and happier. I considered letting go of having to deal with the finances and realized that I hated driving the car. I started getting it!

I had a really hard time though. It was so scary to sit in the passenger’s seat rather than driving myself.

Before I joined the Laura Doyle community, it had taken years for things to change and for me to change because I couldn’t do it on my own. Becoming a part of LDC made the shift happen; it changed my life and my whole way of being.

I became really true to myself. I realized that I just wanted to be taken care of and cherished. I finally let go of the reins.

This year I’ve been on trips to Florida and Israel and the Cherished for Life Weekend, and my husband stayed home and took care of everything while I was gone. Even when we’re both home, he helps so much more than I ever could have imagined!

I don’t deal with the finances anymore and am so grateful to my husband for taking care of them.

He just renewed our health insurance plan and is constantly taking care of all of these kinds of things. He’s now actively working on making more money, which lifts such a burden financially.

Shortly after I began the coach training program, he got me a new car. I was amazed–he did everything from beginning to end. That was a first for us and a huge win for me.

I don’t ever drive the car when he’s around anymore, and it feels so good to be chauffeured!

I am so glad that I learned to be grateful for all that he has done, is doing and wants to do for me.

Another huge thing that has changed is our communication. As I became more aware of myself and my needs, I became much more capable of expressing them. My husband always wanted to please me, but I never knew how to tell him what I wanted–or how to receive it if I had!

Now I can also tell him how I feel without him feeling threatened or blamed. I feel so much safer and more secure being able to share my feelings in a feminine way and then receive his love and encouragement.

Ohhh, it really feels nice to be a mom with a loving, generous, caring man supporting me and sharing every step of the way. I now feel loved and taken care of, no longer alone or overwhelmed with this huge burden of parenthood. We’re in this together, him as the dad, the captain and caretaker, the strong man who’d been hidden away.

I’m amazed and so grateful to have gotten to this beautiful place! Learning the Six Intimacy Skills™ is one of the best things I’ve ever done!

I am thrilled to be a Laura Doyle coach and look forward to spreading these amazing Skills to as many women as I can. I hope to experience more and more of this wonderful transformation on my happily-ever-after journey.


What to do next…

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