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How I Changed My Family’s Legacy of Divorce to One of Strong, Happy Marriage

How I Changed My Family’s Legacy of Divorce to One of Strong, Happy Marriage

Carol Beauchemin, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I come from generations of divorce. It seemed that was to be the destiny of my 26-year marriage as well.

Raising three children, self-employment, financial challenges and stress all put tremendous pressure on my husband and me, and our relationship was beaten down.

I resented the lack of partnership from him and felt very alone raising our children. The economy drop hurt our finances severely, and my fears consumed me—something he didn’t know how to handle.

When I expressed my fear, he heard only criticism and we were off to the races, not understanding one another on any level. I tried to fix things, but my control hurt our marriage and pushed him away. I lacked the tools to navigate these marital challenges.

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How to Talk About Sex

How to Talk about Sex

3 Ways to Keep It Steamy and Get What You Want

If the sex in your relationship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, you’re not alone.

Women tell me there hasn’t been any physical intimacy since the baby was born–and he’s four.

Or that her husband is always after her for sex, but she just feels used.

Or that she’s tired of feeling so rushed and pressured in the bedroom. She’ll say her husband’s idea of foreplay is to say “Brace yourself.”

Of course these women are frustrated, to say the least. And they’re wondering how things are ever going to improve with so much resentment and hurt standing in the way.

Life is too short to suck it up and suffer through an unsatisfying sex life, but what’s the alternative? How do you talk about it?

After all, talking about sex can feel awkward, and talking during sex can kill the moment.

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Lost the Connection in My Marriage

Lost the Connection in My Marriage

Bonnie Mottram, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I have been married to my highschool sweetheart for over 30 years. We were pretty happy for the most part but struggled with a small part–the one where I tried to manipulate him into being the way I thought he should be.

We had been dating for nine years before he finally asked me to marry him, so we had children right away. I would tell him how to parent. I often got in the middle of his disciplining them to let him know I disagreed with his punishment, which I did in front of the kids.

I felt I needed to control the money too since he hadn’t learned to manage a bank account in his bachelor days. After complaining that our life plan was not working out, I would demand that we have “a talk.”

This is where I did most of the talking and he would nod, as if he were on the same page agreeing with every word I said about how things needed to be in order to work.

If only he would do what he was supposed to, we would get along just fine, or so I thought. Unfortunately, he didn’t respond in kind.

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Talking about Feelings

Talking about Feelings

5 Communication Myths that Are Ruining Your Relationship

You already know that talking about feelings is the key to having a good relationship with someone you love.

But if you’re anything like I was, sometimes expressing your feelings starts a big fight, leaving you feeling like it’s not safe to share your inner self.

It’s crummy. Here you are revealing your truth and the response you get from the person who’s supposed to love and support you is distance or downright disregard.

There’s no lonelier feeling.

Fortunately, I’ve uncovered some common myths about communicating that were hurting my relationship. Now that I know how to talk about my feelings while increasing the connection with my husband, I want everyone else to know too!

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How I Saved My Marriage when He’s the One who Needed to Change

How I Saved My Marriage when He’s the One who Needed to Change

Dien Luu, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

It was actually my husband who first read The Surrendered Wife.

He said he thought it would help our relationship if I considered some of the ideas. I looked at the title, and I was so angry.

How dare he blame this on me!

I really thought that I was doing everything right. If only he would change, our life would be happier.

After moving to England, I often told him, “I gave up my life in Canada to be here with you. At least you could make an effort!” I was honest and blunt about my feelings, to the point of rudeness. But the more I told him how to be a good husband, the more distant he became.

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How to Make Marriage Fun

How to Make Marriage Fun

3 Ways to Restore Playfulness to Your Relationship

Remember when you first fell in love and you laughed together all the time?

You two were so silly back then!

It was so much fun to be together that you decided to become permanent partners in crime. Your relationship felt so light it filled you with hope and optimism.

So how did it get to be this heavy?

It could have been the pressures of the mad rush to get to work, pick up the kids, get the mortgage paid and the laundry folded. You aren’t alone!

Feeling overwhelmed is decidedly unfun. So is wondering if you picked the right partner to begin with. Either one can make your marriage tedious.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be drudgery.

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The Common Dating Blunder that (Formerly) Kept Me Single

The Common Dating Blunder that (Formerly) Kept Me Single

By Katherine Wong-Velasco, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

I started dating when I was twelve years old. I thought I was the expert on men! I had twelve relationships before meeting my husband. However, they all had a way of not working out.

I made a wish that I would settle down with a good guy before I turned thirty. But my thirtieth birthday came and went, and nothing happened.

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