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5 Common Mistakes Women Make to Get Their Man’s Time and Affection

5 Common Mistakes Women Make to Get Their Man’s Time and Affection

How to Get the Consideration You Want the Way You Want It

Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if marriage came with an easy-to-follow instruction manual?

Who’s with me?

But since it doesn’t, you bumble along trying out relationship advice you got at the hair salon, from well-meaning friends and even strangers at bars.

They say things like “Never go to bed angry.”

Sounds wise, right? But another way to say that is “Stay up and fight,” which doesn’t seem like such a great idea after all.

There’s a lot of bad relationship advice floating around disguised as “common sense.” Maybe that’s why so many marriages are falling apart.

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My Husband Is Emotionally Distant

My Husband Is Emotionally Distant

How I Got My White Picket Fence After All
Rachel Hanna, Laura Doyle Certified Coach

All of my life, I had my eye on the prize: being married to my one true soulmate.

I imagined us laughing together on the couch and gazing into each other’s eyes, deeply in love. I imagined a love of such closeness and comfort that we could have a blast together at the grocery store. I also imagined accomplishing big dreams together–white picket fence and all.

I yearned and prayed my heart out to meet him, a focused mission I made my top priority as I became a young woman.

Then I met him, and I knew right away.

He was sensitive, gentle, brilliant, and shared the same dreams as me. From the time we met, he felt familiar and comfortable, like a brother, and also the man I knew I would forever love more and more deeply.

When we got married, I naively said we would be different from other couples. I expected smooth sailing from day one because we were gentle souls aimed for kindness and sweetness towards each other.

Despite that good foundation, within a few weeks the challenges began.

He had taken a job with long, late hours, which didn’t match my vision of the evenings we would spend together as newlyweds. I complained, telling him it was wrong to work so late when we were newly married since we should be cuddling and laughing all evening, as true soulmates do.

It wasn’t long before he was withdrawn and distant.

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Three Life Hacks for Saving Your Marriage

You’ve been working really hard on your relationship. At least it feels like hard work because it’s so draining and takes up so much time and energy.

The bad news is you were probably working on fixing the wrong things.

The good news is that, no matter how bad it seems now, it’s not too late to save the relationship—and get the fulfilling one you set out to have when you first fell in love.

That’s true even if you’re separated, there’s been an affair, or the divorce has already started.

Here’s what you can do to restore the peace, passion and connection you once shared:

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Finding Your Purpose while Fixing Your Relationship

Finding Your Purpose

Finding Your Purpose while Fixing Your Relationship

How to Access the Portal to Living Your Passion

When you have the vague feeling you have a calling in life that you’re not responding to, it’s like having an itch you can’t quite scratch.

Your soul is whispering to you that there’s something you’re here on the planet to do–something important, but how do you find it?

Even worse, when you’re not feeling purposeful, exhilarated or joyful in your work, that will lead to a strain in your relationship.

And if your relationship is struggling, that robs you from accomplishing all you want to do.

In other words, the two pain points are tied together and aggravate each other.

I didn’t realize that when my marriage was struggling. I just thought my husband was a loser pants and that work was hard but I could retire in 40 years (unless I got fired again).

Fortunately, I was wrong about everything.

I haven’t been fired for decades now. I do exhilarating work every day. And my marriage is amazing.

Here are 3 ways to transform your relationship and find your purpose at the same time:

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My Husband Avoids Me

My Husband Avoids Me

How I Attracted Him Back–and Became My Best Self

Amy Beth Kauffman, Laura Doyle Relationship Coach

I met my husband 27 years ago, the day I moved to a new apartment. We ran into each other by chance in the lobby as he was leaving a friend’s place. He then turned around to come back upstairs with his friend and me to hang out longer.

A month later, he drove over to my apartment to ask me out on a date, and we have been together ever since.

I married him for many reasons: He was smart, gentle, stable, reliable, generous, compassionate, hard-working, and he has amazing green eyes! I thought the world of him.

He was attentive to me, planned dates for us–everything from lunch to vacation–and we were fortunate to have the family of our dreams. It was a fairytale.

Until it wasn’t.

We decided that I would put my career on the back burner to be a stay-at-home mom. It made sense financially and emotionally. Motherhood was wonderfully exhausting, but I was lonely for my husband.

While I waited at home for his attention, he was becoming a superstar at work. He received promotion after promotion, which I was proud of and yet, I began to feel less important and less worthy than I was.

I unfairly expected him to fulfill all my needs for attention, affirmation and affection.

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My Marriage is Miserable

My Marriage Is Miserable

How I Stopped the Fighting

Sonya, Laura Doyle Certified Coach
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” —Proverbs 21:9 (NIV)

I met my husband in college, and disrespect started early—even before we got married.

He said he’d always dreamed his bride would come down the aisle followed by a long white train. I found a gown with a short train. He didn’t see until our wedding day that I had completely disregarded his wishes.

Six months into marriage, I complained bitterly to my mom and sister that I couldn’t see any advantage to being married.

I worked and he was in school, which created an awkward dynamic. He was spending my money, going golfing with his friends, or settling into a book or playing computer games at home, and I was lonely a lot. My expectations for a happy, fun, never-alone relationship were not being met.

I was miserable and told him so.

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My Husband Disappoints Me All the Time

My Husband Disappoints Me All the Time

5 Ways to Inspire Him to Be a Better Man

Being constantly disappointed in your marriage can wear you down and make you hopeless about the future.

Maybe your husband disappoints you when it comes to celebrations–he forgets your anniversary, gets you a present that has nothing to do with what you like, or acts like it’s just another Wednesday.

Or, let’s say he complains when you’re sick because you aren’t doing the things you normally do. The demoralizing message is that you’re not that important except for what you contribute, not to mention his lack of compassion when you just want to be taken care of!

Or he may be a disappointment in a bigger sense, like not showing up to be the dad your kids deserve.

Either way, you don’t have to just suck it up and continue to hurt endlessly.

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